fatso
Ok, so this weekend I was getting some dinner at my uncle's after the wedding rehearsal, and Linda (the chef, family friend of my uncle's, known me for years) tells me I look beautiful, and I of course blush and say thank you very much. Well she proceeds to tell me I look amazing and I've lost so much weight and she can't believe how good I look. I start to feel uncomfortable so I say thanks again and hurry out of the kitchen to the patio. I eat my dinner, chat with my sister and uncle, and then go to throw my stuff out in the house, and Linda does it again. Goes on and on about my weight and how beautiful I am and blah blah blah. Ok I know I lost a lot of weight, I'm happily down in the 130's (mom's now worried I'm losing too much, gag) and it felt good to be complimented, considering she was one of about 3 people the whole weekend that complimented me, other than the groomsmen, but then again, they were drunk and we're all practically related as it is considering we've all known each other for so long... they treat us like the sister's which is cool. Honestly, was I that bad before I started losing?? I felt like crap later, because that is how the WHOLE WEEKEND went, every time she saw me, she'd tell me how good I was looking. Now, I'm not one to turn down compliments, but it wasn't like she was complimenting me anymore, it was more like she was judging me as a person based on my weight. It made me feel bad about myself, and it kind of confuses me. I like myself, and I'd like to think others do too, but does weight really matter? Linda's daughters are all skinny cheerleaders, and I obviously am a pretty polar opposite of a skinny cheerleader... ok probably not a polar opposite, but still, I'm not a skinny little thing that gets thrown up in the air screaming out go team go! But still... oh whatever.
I kind of want flowers in my room right now, it seems kind of blah... but I have no extra money :-( sadness. Like, it just seems grey... probably because of the weather.
I got to see a few pictures of Greg's new nephew today when he was leaving lunch and I was going... that baby is the cutest baby I've ever seen, even if it was just a picture on a cell phone.
Well that's it, I just felt like venting a little about the whole weight thing. I'd like to think I'm attractive... well at least I'd like to think I'm not horribly unfortunate looking, but when superficial people keep saying things over and over and over, it kind of sticks around in your mind for a bit. Oh well. I love me for me, and my friends and family love me for me... if people don't then I really could care less about them. Yay for a bit of me empowerment! lol
Later Gators
P.S. I will miss Steve Irwin... I loved watching him with animals! Even if he did do things that seemed crazy... he was cool. RIP Steve!
I kind of want flowers in my room right now, it seems kind of blah... but I have no extra money :-( sadness. Like, it just seems grey... probably because of the weather.
I got to see a few pictures of Greg's new nephew today when he was leaving lunch and I was going... that baby is the cutest baby I've ever seen, even if it was just a picture on a cell phone.
Well that's it, I just felt like venting a little about the whole weight thing. I'd like to think I'm attractive... well at least I'd like to think I'm not horribly unfortunate looking, but when superficial people keep saying things over and over and over, it kind of sticks around in your mind for a bit. Oh well. I love me for me, and my friends and family love me for me... if people don't then I really could care less about them. Yay for a bit of me empowerment! lol
Later Gators
P.S. I will miss Steve Irwin... I loved watching him with animals! Even if he did do things that seemed crazy... he was cool. RIP Steve!