I, Myself, Am Strange and Unusual
Work has been insane. I am keenly aware of the fact that I posted very little in the month of August. I've been transitioning into a 30 hour job that includes more responsibilities than I've ever had and . . . I kind of love it. I like being trusted to do my work - that has been the staple of my current work place, even when I was at 20 hours. They trusted me to do my work. Unlike at my last job in which everything was becoming so micro-managed. The only difference between jobs at my current work is that I went from the realm of customer service into a realm of harder customer service, collections, and resources. And I'm always eager to learn more, do more, so who knows where that will get me in the future.
But I've often felt guilty for skimping on writing or sewing because I'm tired at the end of the day. I would love to work more on both. I have been carving out some time to work creatively (why do I always have to be working 24/7 to feel like a respectable human being?). Maybe this is why my body is always aching in the morning. Or it's the auto-immune diseases creeping up on me.
I do have a plan for Halloween though. Initially, I wanted to make a super ambitious costume, Chiaki Tachibana of Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne, complete with short jacket and dress underneath, covering my boots in the same fabric, and maybe for Anime Expo '19, getting my sister to make her Fiend-arm for me . . . but then I realized that this would take time that I don't necessarily have. I also work on Halloween (we have a contest, so it's okay to wear costumes) and I wanted to be a character that more people would recognize.
That was when I pulled out a dream costume idea.
When I was a kid, I wanted my closet to be filled with the costumes that Winona Ryder wore in her films. As I've grown up, this notion hasn't died. I felt great pride when, while watching Heathers with my niece, she pointed at Winona Ryder's Veronica Sawyer, turning the shower on while fully clothed, and said to me, "I want that dress."
I think what I was really struck by in childhood was seeing Ryder's Kim in Edward Scissorhands, dressed in her pure white dress with bright blonde hair, juxtaposed with the dark and sinister mansion Edward had left behind. There is just something about that film that has touched me in a way I can't often express. I think it's my constant fear of the suburbs, the idyllic image that is often replete with horror.
But my very first dream costumes were all those worn by Lydia Deetz in Beetlejuice. I have always been one of a . . . cynical nature, and felt a connection with Lydia's character. What kept me from dressing myself as I wanted though was the feeling that I couldn't have it. This has plagued me my entire life - if I desire something, whether it be a garment or wanting to watch a certain film, I feel as though I don't deserve it.
Finally, I thought, screw it. Let's dive deep into desire and let's have fun. I am going to sew a Lydia Deetz costume for this Halloween. I am going to alter patterns. And I am going to allow myself to purchase the fabric I love but that I kept myself away from: black chantilly lace. My tiny inner goth, preserved from high school, was ecstatic. The very same tiny inner goth that pushed me to purchase a men's jacket in black from Hot Topic that was made to look similar to a straight jacket (which is still lingering in my closet).
The costume I will be making is the one Lydia wears when she figures out Beetlejuice's name and he tries to trick her into saying it 3 times. The "charades" scene. This costume will include:
-An over-sized lace cardigan/shawl (using Mood Fabrics' Willow Cardigan pattern)
-A button-down midi dress in black (using By Hand London's Eloise pattern with an added button placket)
-A lace choker
-A long black beaded necklace
-Black tights
-Black lace-up boots
-And one copy of the Handbook for the Recently Deceased
For pictures, I may purchase a wig and attempt to style it, now that I know you can't just pull hair up. You have to sew in another track to cover up the infrastructure of the wig. For work, I'll just do my hair like Lydia's. There are plenty of video tutorials online.
Here's hoping all goes according to plan.
But I've often felt guilty for skimping on writing or sewing because I'm tired at the end of the day. I would love to work more on both. I have been carving out some time to work creatively (why do I always have to be working 24/7 to feel like a respectable human being?). Maybe this is why my body is always aching in the morning. Or it's the auto-immune diseases creeping up on me.
I do have a plan for Halloween though. Initially, I wanted to make a super ambitious costume, Chiaki Tachibana of Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne, complete with short jacket and dress underneath, covering my boots in the same fabric, and maybe for Anime Expo '19, getting my sister to make her Fiend-arm for me . . . but then I realized that this would take time that I don't necessarily have. I also work on Halloween (we have a contest, so it's okay to wear costumes) and I wanted to be a character that more people would recognize.
That was when I pulled out a dream costume idea.
When I was a kid, I wanted my closet to be filled with the costumes that Winona Ryder wore in her films. As I've grown up, this notion hasn't died. I felt great pride when, while watching Heathers with my niece, she pointed at Winona Ryder's Veronica Sawyer, turning the shower on while fully clothed, and said to me, "I want that dress."
I think what I was really struck by in childhood was seeing Ryder's Kim in Edward Scissorhands, dressed in her pure white dress with bright blonde hair, juxtaposed with the dark and sinister mansion Edward had left behind. There is just something about that film that has touched me in a way I can't often express. I think it's my constant fear of the suburbs, the idyllic image that is often replete with horror.
But my very first dream costumes were all those worn by Lydia Deetz in Beetlejuice. I have always been one of a . . . cynical nature, and felt a connection with Lydia's character. What kept me from dressing myself as I wanted though was the feeling that I couldn't have it. This has plagued me my entire life - if I desire something, whether it be a garment or wanting to watch a certain film, I feel as though I don't deserve it.
Finally, I thought, screw it. Let's dive deep into desire and let's have fun. I am going to sew a Lydia Deetz costume for this Halloween. I am going to alter patterns. And I am going to allow myself to purchase the fabric I love but that I kept myself away from: black chantilly lace. My tiny inner goth, preserved from high school, was ecstatic. The very same tiny inner goth that pushed me to purchase a men's jacket in black from Hot Topic that was made to look similar to a straight jacket (which is still lingering in my closet).
The costume I will be making is the one Lydia wears when she figures out Beetlejuice's name and he tries to trick her into saying it 3 times. The "charades" scene. This costume will include:
-An over-sized lace cardigan/shawl (using Mood Fabrics' Willow Cardigan pattern)
-A button-down midi dress in black (using By Hand London's Eloise pattern with an added button placket)
-A lace choker
-A long black beaded necklace
-Black tights
-Black lace-up boots
-And one copy of the Handbook for the Recently Deceased
For pictures, I may purchase a wig and attempt to style it, now that I know you can't just pull hair up. You have to sew in another track to cover up the infrastructure of the wig. For work, I'll just do my hair like Lydia's. There are plenty of video tutorials online.
Here's hoping all goes according to plan.