here I stand six feet small, smiling 'cause I'm scared as hell
My mom and I went to my dad's office today and ate lunch with him, and while we were there, I happened to see an old picture of me on his desk from when I was the flower girl in my parents' friends' wedding. My hair was all curled and done up, I was wearing this beautiful white dress with a fuscia flower pinned to the front (that's how I learned the word fuscia), and holding this little bouquet of flowers. I'm all dressed up so beautifully, and then I have this disgruntled look on my face like I'm not sure what's going on and I don't really like it. I was probably six or seven at the time, and I remember certain things from the rehearsal dinner and the ceremony, but it wasn't a big event in my life.
It was just so strange looking at that picture and trying to grasp the idea that that beautiful, disgruntled little girl in the photograph and the five-and-a-half-foot tall girl sitting in my dad's office chair are the same person... "I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together..."
it's like I'm coming to this realization of what life is - I started off as a cell, turned into a baby, then a kid, a teenager, and assuming I continue living, I'll be a young adult, a middle-aged adult, an older adult, etc etc etc. It doesn't end until we're dead. Life is an evolution from the moment we're conceived until the moment we die. I'm not going to "grow up" and "turn out" a certain way. I'm just going to continue growing. I will never stop growing. I think that's what it means to be alive: to always be in the process of becoming, yet to never actually "become". One day the girl I am now will be just as unrecognizable as the little one in the picture - yet just as much a part of me.
"I live on Earth at present, and I don’t know what I am. I know that I am not a category. I am not a thing - a noun. I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process - an integral function of the universe." (Buckminster Fuller)
It was just so strange looking at that picture and trying to grasp the idea that that beautiful, disgruntled little girl in the photograph and the five-and-a-half-foot tall girl sitting in my dad's office chair are the same person... "I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together..."
it's like I'm coming to this realization of what life is - I started off as a cell, turned into a baby, then a kid, a teenager, and assuming I continue living, I'll be a young adult, a middle-aged adult, an older adult, etc etc etc. It doesn't end until we're dead. Life is an evolution from the moment we're conceived until the moment we die. I'm not going to "grow up" and "turn out" a certain way. I'm just going to continue growing. I will never stop growing. I think that's what it means to be alive: to always be in the process of becoming, yet to never actually "become". One day the girl I am now will be just as unrecognizable as the little one in the picture - yet just as much a part of me.
"I live on Earth at present, and I don’t know what I am. I know that I am not a category. I am not a thing - a noun. I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process - an integral function of the universe." (Buckminster Fuller)