(no subject)
Sometimes there are emotions that are hard to express properly. It's as if some emotions are too bulky are too small to fit inside the normal "file folders" hanging in my head. So, here's this one still on my desk because I can't figure out how to handle it, yet.
It reminds me of that feeling I got when I realized that I would never be able to trust my mother again. My former image of her had been shattered and all that was left was someone that I was going to have to RE-acquaint myself with. In essence, I had to grieve for the death of my mother while she was still walking around on the Earth. I had to find a way to make peace with the change and put the hurt into the past. Since then, I've gotten reacquainted with my mom and -- even though our relationship will never be the same -- without even squinting I'm able to find a silver lining in all of that. (I'm still hoping that she can come for a visit, btw).
Anyway, I can't really discuss on LJ what's going on right now. It would be unfair to the other person involved and I promised that I wouldn't. But I know that even with what little I'm able to tell you about this situation, that maybe someone will send some good vibes my way -- even if not in a comment, just in a prayer or a happy thought.