(no subject)
I don't think it would be false to say that nearly everyone seems to be in some kind of a funk right now. I'd have to admit that I am, too.
After a month and a half of racking my brain and sacrificing time and energy to compose a 4-movement piece as Nicholas' wedding gift, I emerge on the other side to hear talk that the string quartet may be trying to back out already (we've had to move the rehearsal/recording time twice, now, and they're again saying that there's a problem). To make matters worse, I feel the groom-to-be is bending under the wedding planning pressure as his wife-to-be is taking a back seat in most of the matter. So, it's beginning to feel more and more like this whole "music thing" isn't going to happen unless I manage to make it happen from nearly 900 miles away. (sigh)
I guess it's hard to explain it without sounding selfish, but I wrote this music as a gift to them and -- even though it is a gift to them -- they're going to have to make things happen in order to really be able to receive the gift.
This is one of the reasons that I felt music wasn't a career for me -- you have to rely too much on other people. People aren't BAD... most people are quite GOOD, but no one can be expected to have the same priorities as a composer. For an example of this, all you have to do is think about one of the times that you showed up at a rehearsal and absolutely didn't want to be there and didn't do your best or a time when you didn't show up at all. That's the other problem with music -- one that separates it from other art forms: it relies on PEOPLE almost more than it does the ARTIST(s).
So, not only have I spent all this time composing something that may or may not even be heard (sadly enough was the fact that it would probably be heard once and once ONLY), but I'm having to also spend time practicing my own part in the piece and that's a lot of my spare time possibly going down the drain, too. I wrote a spiffy piano part -- a spiffy part for EVERYONE. Why does it have to be this waaaaay??
Bach's music was already heading out of fashion at the time of his death and it was nearly abandoned for the next 100 years.
Mozart died before hearing his Reqiem.
Beethoven went deaf and couldn't even HEAR his shit.
Chopin was so sick with TB that he couldn't PLAY his shit.
Brahms determined that he couldn't compose shit if he wasn't moderately MISERABLE.
I could go on if I had my Grout in front of me!!!
There's waaaay too much tragic irony in music!!!!
(I know... the world's smallest violin is playing "My Heart Aches For You.".... WELL AT LEAST THAT VIOLINIST SHOWED UP!!!!)
I guess I could feel a little better if someone (either the groom-to-be or the spokesperson for the quartet) would contact me and let me know what's going on. But it presently feels as if I'm the only one who currently has any vested interest at all in this matter!!