disclose
I'm really enjoying this conversation about money. The kudos and advice are really great, but I have to admit two things.
First I want to clarify a misunderstanding: Jeff and I EACH get $300 a week to spend on discretionary items which include food, car expenses, public transportation costs, clothes, entertainment, etc. That's a whopping $2400 a month which I want to get in and examine because I know we are spending too much. I know that Jeff has been spending under his allotment, but I've been just skirting the edge--which is why I've been examining my spending more closely and it ain't pretty. I've been traveling quite a bit and when I do I eat out and buy gifts. When I hand with the ladies, it can be as much as $50. Jenny Craig is also pricey at $75/week. I can't figure out how we spend so much and still feel poor. I KNOW we have to do better.
The next disclosure is how naked and uncomfortable I feel revealing how much we spent and save and ultimately make. I'm surprised since I have revealed all sorts of REALLY personal things on this forum before. Part of me is afraid of being judged, part of me is afraid of being disliked, and a part of me is afraid of being attacked. It's somewhat unreasonable given the kindness and acceptance I've had from all of you, but I think it has to do with the way money conversations are not had in our society. Part of it is my guilt at not being poor anymore. I grew up so poor and having money feels like a secret shame--like losing weight--I've left those I struggled with behind. I'm afraid that while I still struggle with my money and weight issues I'll be dismissed because, well, it's not THAT serious. I'm not in deep debt nor am I in the obese category of BMI. Quit bellyaching, right? But, I still carry the weird emotional scars of both and continue to wrestle to understand how much control I can have and what it means to exert it.
So I ask, rather than judging me based on the numbers, read and speak to how I move through my struggles, grow with what I've learned, and make positive changes (as I hope to do). Thanks.
First I want to clarify a misunderstanding: Jeff and I EACH get $300 a week to spend on discretionary items which include food, car expenses, public transportation costs, clothes, entertainment, etc. That's a whopping $2400 a month which I want to get in and examine because I know we are spending too much. I know that Jeff has been spending under his allotment, but I've been just skirting the edge--which is why I've been examining my spending more closely and it ain't pretty. I've been traveling quite a bit and when I do I eat out and buy gifts. When I hand with the ladies, it can be as much as $50. Jenny Craig is also pricey at $75/week. I can't figure out how we spend so much and still feel poor. I KNOW we have to do better.
The next disclosure is how naked and uncomfortable I feel revealing how much we spent and save and ultimately make. I'm surprised since I have revealed all sorts of REALLY personal things on this forum before. Part of me is afraid of being judged, part of me is afraid of being disliked, and a part of me is afraid of being attacked. It's somewhat unreasonable given the kindness and acceptance I've had from all of you, but I think it has to do with the way money conversations are not had in our society. Part of it is my guilt at not being poor anymore. I grew up so poor and having money feels like a secret shame--like losing weight--I've left those I struggled with behind. I'm afraid that while I still struggle with my money and weight issues I'll be dismissed because, well, it's not THAT serious. I'm not in deep debt nor am I in the obese category of BMI. Quit bellyaching, right? But, I still carry the weird emotional scars of both and continue to wrestle to understand how much control I can have and what it means to exert it.
So I ask, rather than judging me based on the numbers, read and speak to how I move through my struggles, grow with what I've learned, and make positive changes (as I hope to do). Thanks.