Willy Lots
Willy Lots
Title: 'Willy Lots'
Author: ponyatf
Pairing: JonghyunxKey
Genre: A GHOST-STORY!!! (No, srsly, this is crack... and a one-shot.)
Rating: Pg-15 (Implied dirty stuff. Eeewww!)
Disclaimer: I neither own the boys, nor do I make any money with this story.
Summary: There is a haunted place deep in the woods called after an old man, 'Willy Lots'. This is the story, how the place got haunted and it is so spooky, that no one is allowed to read it without a light burning in his/her/its room! BE WARNED! *insert a spooky howl*
A/N: Written for my gurkl nadal93 , who was forced to the woods and still managed to heroically contact me, asking for a ghost-story like that.
Willy Lots
"Tipedy-topedy!" said the old man and even though it made no sense, it didn't matter what he said, because he was deep in the woods and no one was around to listen anyways.
So, "Tipedy-topedy-tap-tirrily" he said and hopped as graceful as a man as tall as a seven-year old and as old as a seventy-year old can hop over a tree-trunk.
The air was enjoyable and the trees were just as trees in a forrest had to be, therefor was the old man in a good mood, not to say: In the best mood to watch some birds.
"Tipedy-topedy-tap-tirrily, di-topedy-topedy-top-top-top!" he told the silent nature (It is not polite to speak, when an old man is sharing his wisdom with the world) and he looked around to see, where he could watch birds. With his eyes.
THERE! SUDDENLY!
Weird noises, not comparable to any of those 'Racada's and 'Chirp Chirp's from his 'Audio book of bird-sounds for elderly, yet still able to hear, ornithologists', were alluring the old man to a nearby thicket of bushes.
Walking closer, one curious step after another, he reached out for some branches, "Tipedy?", and moved them away for stealing a glance at the unknown creature, which made such unfamiliar noises ("Mmmmmm...", a groan, "Ugh!", a moan, "Oooooooooh", a yowl, "Ah! Ah! Ah!", a bark).
Zounds! What he saw was not an animal, quiet frankly said: Nothing close to a bird at all! The beast had four legs, which cramped uncontrolled over the ground and its four arms were tangled around its body.
The smooching noises must have its source in the muddy surface of the monsters skin, a thick brown goop; by the mighty underworld, the old man was sure to see a golem!!
And as the big critter was twitching intense and frequently, as if it fought with the death or as if it was arising from the dead, a darkness came to the old man's eyes and no one has ever heard of him again. Ever.
Until...
______________________________________________________________________
"I can't believe we made that into a yearly ritual... Couldn't we have chosen to go into a nice restaurant instead?" the tall boy nagged, stepping without much care for the little leaves and twigs, the bugs and dust-particles, but with so much more care for his shoes (80 $, famous sports-brand) not to get too dirty.
The short one, who wiggled behind the taller one and in between the so, so, so much taller trees, sighed and responded in a tone, known all over the world as the 'If I wouldn't like you this much, I would have already slapped your face for being so unbelievably annoying with your annoying annoyance'-tone: "Shut up."
With his arms crossed and an impatient foot tapping on the dry humus, the tall boy halted in front of a thicket and left it to be the business of the short one to move the branches apart.
As the short one did so, the taller one skipped gracefully inside of a cave-like grass-area, its ceiling created by the bushes grown together on top. Shorty followed.
Already busy with undressing his jacket (150 $, custom-made by his personal stylist), the tall one continued to spoil the mood: "At least the weather is dry this year. But don't get your hopes to high, I won't do any of the freaky stuff you suggested and there won't be any cuddling afterwards."
"Yeah yeah" the short one said and it might be because he had less length to undress, but he was so much faster at slipping into his Adam's costume (priceless, owned by a prosperous entertainment company), that he had time to sit down on the ground and watch the other carefully laying his shirt (1.000 $, renown designer brand) on his bag, not allowing one chunk of earth to touch it.
"Tipedy?" it came from above.
"What?" asked the tall one, turning around to the groundy-shorty with a frown.
"That wasn't me" confessed the short one, a confused look on his face and an instinctive hand covering his vulnerable unmentionables. Just in case...
"Is this a weird foreplay, you thought of or something? I don't like that" the tall one reported to the other and put his hands on the hips.
"Tipedy-topedy!" a husky voice repeated.
The tall one, only covered by his undies (40 $, name of the brand in big letters on the waistband), showed signs of a minor shock as he slowly realized, that he had heard the sound again, but the source he had suspected to make it hadn't moved his mouth one bit.
"Who is there?" asked the short one with a shaky voice and stood up to take a little peek through the branches and check up on the outside world of their little bush-cave.
No response. No one around to be seen.
"And? Do you see someone?" the tall one shivered and bit on his nails.
The short and naked one turned around and shook his head.
As the boys looked at each other and listened to the sudden silence, they slowly start to relax again. "Maybe it's gone" the tall one assumed.
"TIP-TIP-TIP-TIP-TIPEDY!"
A jump from the tall one and a shorty hurrying out of the cave to catch the crazy noise-buddy let the perverted scream die again.
"Seriously, this freaks me out, Jonghyun!" the tall one addressed the shorty, who came back into their little nest after not finding a soul outside.
A little bulb appeared over Jonghyun's head, but it took some seconds before it started to glow: "Maybe... maybe... MAYBE IT IS A GHOST! I think I heard some stories about this place... being haunted by a 'Willy' and stuff..."
Tall one looked kinda angry now. "A GHOST?! No no no, this is just not worth the fuck" he hissed and put his clothes back on in the right order and with care neither to dirt them nor to crunch them, "Last year the mud, this year a ghost, seriously, let's just go into a restaurant next year and have fun in the bathroom, that is more hygienic anyways and over all, it is just..."
"My name is Willy and I say TIPEDY!"
The tall one let his pants (300 $, on sale by a big jeans-brand) fall to the ground and he skipped to the short one and clenched onto him with clacking teeth. "THE GHOST!"
Both boys hold onto each other as a ruffling, definitively not made by the wind in the leaves, filled the air above them, Jonghyun's skin was by now decorated with an army of goosebumps.
"Key... we should leave" he whispered.
The ruffling got louder, stronger and they were sure to hear a tiny 'Topedy?' as well. The branches above them started moving, shaking, small twigs rained on their heads and they knew it was too late to flee.
"OHMYGOD! Jonghyun, I love you and I am sorry I was bitching around so much and if we are going to be eaten by that ghost now I just want to let you know that I actually enjoyed all the kinky stuff we did and that it was me who ate the last cookie and I am sorry, so sorry, I LOVE YOUUUUU!"
The big crunch made them close their eyes in fear and they ducked their heads into their shoulders; an enormous amount of leafage poured down on them and with a yowled "TOOOOOPEDYYYYYYY!!!" the ghost broke through the ceiling of branches, fell with ripped clothes and a dirty face onto the ground and in front of their feet.
______________________________________________________________________
"It was a good thing you brought him here. He was very confused at first, but got faster accustomed to his new environment as anyone expected" the doctor explained them, whilst they wandered down the happy-painted hallway in direction of Willy's room.
"Even though he is still not speaking much more than his gibberish and the sentence 'My name is Willy', we think to have figured out a lot about his state."
Key nodded and faked to understand, what the doctor was talking about and Jonghyun made a gloomy face.
Arrived in front of a door, the doctor opened it carefully and told the old man about his visitors. "Look Willy, who came by to see you! Do you remember the two boys, that helped you last year to get here?"
The old man-ornithologist-ghost looked up from the tiny table he sat on with a tiny chair under his butt and a big piece of paper in front of him with a big puddle of brown paint on it.
Willy tilted his head, murmured 'Tipedy-tirrily...' and focused on his painting again.
Tall and short stayed in the hallway, taking a glance into the narrow room, filled with pictures of a brown monster. They were EVERYWHERE!
"Well, he seems to be busy" the doctor remarked and closed the door again.
Back in his office, the doctor offered them a seat and a nasty tasting water, he had called coffee, and he continued to inform them about Willy.
"He must have seen something terrible out there; the brown monster he constantly paints we think has given him such a shock, that he lost his mind over it."
The two boys shared a quick glance.
"But we still wonder, what that might have been and how he had survived for assumedly a year alone in the woods."
Jonghyun and Key still didn't comment, so the doctor wanted to break the ice with the nice offer: "Do you want to stay for our 'Two-man-show' by our very talented schizophrenic house-comedian?"
When they left the building ten minutes later, they didn't spoke for a while. The short one, still with a gloomy face, was waiting for the tall one to finally admit it.
It so happened at the bus-station.
"You were right", Key admitted, "That was no fun and therefor not in question to become the yearly ritual anymore. Let's go to the woods again next year and fuck."
Jonghyun grinned now a grin, well-known all over the world as the 'I finally got what I wanted and I am glad we are through this, but please don't dare to ever question our new found old ritual again, because I just want to do it in this bush-thingie with you'-grin and said: "Third time is a charm, babe."
Ponylove for the Shawols ~ ♥♥♥
~ Spooky, huh? If I would ever walk in on the Jongkey-mating, I sure would go insane as well, kekeke. But hey, I am just one step away from the nuts-house anyways (^0^)
So, I hope ya all enjoyed and will have a fun weekend with a whole lot of nice SHINee-Hello-Stages, kekekeke. GHOST-STORIES FTW!! and comments will be very loved~ ♥
(Masterlist: "The Dozen") (Masterlist: "The CB- Man") (Masterlist: "Stable of Stories")
Title: 'Willy Lots'
Author: ponyatf
Pairing: JonghyunxKey
Genre: A GHOST-STORY!!! (No, srsly, this is crack... and a one-shot.)
Rating: Pg-15 (Implied dirty stuff. Eeewww!)
Disclaimer: I neither own the boys, nor do I make any money with this story.
Summary: There is a haunted place deep in the woods called after an old man, 'Willy Lots'. This is the story, how the place got haunted and it is so spooky, that no one is allowed to read it without a light burning in his/her/its room! BE WARNED! *insert a spooky howl*
A/N: Written for my gurkl nadal93 , who was forced to the woods and still managed to heroically contact me, asking for a ghost-story like that.
Willy Lots
"Tipedy-topedy!" said the old man and even though it made no sense, it didn't matter what he said, because he was deep in the woods and no one was around to listen anyways.
So, "Tipedy-topedy-tap-tirrily" he said and hopped as graceful as a man as tall as a seven-year old and as old as a seventy-year old can hop over a tree-trunk.
The air was enjoyable and the trees were just as trees in a forrest had to be, therefor was the old man in a good mood, not to say: In the best mood to watch some birds.
"Tipedy-topedy-tap-tirrily, di-topedy-topedy-top-top-top!" he told the silent nature (It is not polite to speak, when an old man is sharing his wisdom with the world) and he looked around to see, where he could watch birds. With his eyes.
THERE! SUDDENLY!
Weird noises, not comparable to any of those 'Racada's and 'Chirp Chirp's from his 'Audio book of bird-sounds for elderly, yet still able to hear, ornithologists', were alluring the old man to a nearby thicket of bushes.
Walking closer, one curious step after another, he reached out for some branches, "Tipedy?", and moved them away for stealing a glance at the unknown creature, which made such unfamiliar noises ("Mmmmmm...", a groan, "Ugh!", a moan, "Oooooooooh", a yowl, "Ah! Ah! Ah!", a bark).
Zounds! What he saw was not an animal, quiet frankly said: Nothing close to a bird at all! The beast had four legs, which cramped uncontrolled over the ground and its four arms were tangled around its body.
The smooching noises must have its source in the muddy surface of the monsters skin, a thick brown goop; by the mighty underworld, the old man was sure to see a golem!!
And as the big critter was twitching intense and frequently, as if it fought with the death or as if it was arising from the dead, a darkness came to the old man's eyes and no one has ever heard of him again. Ever.
Until...
______________________________________________________________________
"I can't believe we made that into a yearly ritual... Couldn't we have chosen to go into a nice restaurant instead?" the tall boy nagged, stepping without much care for the little leaves and twigs, the bugs and dust-particles, but with so much more care for his shoes (80 $, famous sports-brand) not to get too dirty.
The short one, who wiggled behind the taller one and in between the so, so, so much taller trees, sighed and responded in a tone, known all over the world as the 'If I wouldn't like you this much, I would have already slapped your face for being so unbelievably annoying with your annoying annoyance'-tone: "Shut up."
With his arms crossed and an impatient foot tapping on the dry humus, the tall boy halted in front of a thicket and left it to be the business of the short one to move the branches apart.
As the short one did so, the taller one skipped gracefully inside of a cave-like grass-area, its ceiling created by the bushes grown together on top. Shorty followed.
Already busy with undressing his jacket (150 $, custom-made by his personal stylist), the tall one continued to spoil the mood: "At least the weather is dry this year. But don't get your hopes to high, I won't do any of the freaky stuff you suggested and there won't be any cuddling afterwards."
"Yeah yeah" the short one said and it might be because he had less length to undress, but he was so much faster at slipping into his Adam's costume (priceless, owned by a prosperous entertainment company), that he had time to sit down on the ground and watch the other carefully laying his shirt (1.000 $, renown designer brand) on his bag, not allowing one chunk of earth to touch it.
"Tipedy?" it came from above.
"What?" asked the tall one, turning around to the groundy-shorty with a frown.
"That wasn't me" confessed the short one, a confused look on his face and an instinctive hand covering his vulnerable unmentionables. Just in case...
"Is this a weird foreplay, you thought of or something? I don't like that" the tall one reported to the other and put his hands on the hips.
"Tipedy-topedy!" a husky voice repeated.
The tall one, only covered by his undies (40 $, name of the brand in big letters on the waistband), showed signs of a minor shock as he slowly realized, that he had heard the sound again, but the source he had suspected to make it hadn't moved his mouth one bit.
"Who is there?" asked the short one with a shaky voice and stood up to take a little peek through the branches and check up on the outside world of their little bush-cave.
No response. No one around to be seen.
"And? Do you see someone?" the tall one shivered and bit on his nails.
The short and naked one turned around and shook his head.
As the boys looked at each other and listened to the sudden silence, they slowly start to relax again. "Maybe it's gone" the tall one assumed.
"TIP-TIP-TIP-TIP-TIPEDY!"
A jump from the tall one and a shorty hurrying out of the cave to catch the crazy noise-buddy let the perverted scream die again.
"Seriously, this freaks me out, Jonghyun!" the tall one addressed the shorty, who came back into their little nest after not finding a soul outside.
A little bulb appeared over Jonghyun's head, but it took some seconds before it started to glow: "Maybe... maybe... MAYBE IT IS A GHOST! I think I heard some stories about this place... being haunted by a 'Willy' and stuff..."
Tall one looked kinda angry now. "A GHOST?! No no no, this is just not worth the fuck" he hissed and put his clothes back on in the right order and with care neither to dirt them nor to crunch them, "Last year the mud, this year a ghost, seriously, let's just go into a restaurant next year and have fun in the bathroom, that is more hygienic anyways and over all, it is just..."
"My name is Willy and I say TIPEDY!"
The tall one let his pants (300 $, on sale by a big jeans-brand) fall to the ground and he skipped to the short one and clenched onto him with clacking teeth. "THE GHOST!"
Both boys hold onto each other as a ruffling, definitively not made by the wind in the leaves, filled the air above them, Jonghyun's skin was by now decorated with an army of goosebumps.
"Key... we should leave" he whispered.
The ruffling got louder, stronger and they were sure to hear a tiny 'Topedy?' as well. The branches above them started moving, shaking, small twigs rained on their heads and they knew it was too late to flee.
"OHMYGOD! Jonghyun, I love you and I am sorry I was bitching around so much and if we are going to be eaten by that ghost now I just want to let you know that I actually enjoyed all the kinky stuff we did and that it was me who ate the last cookie and I am sorry, so sorry, I LOVE YOUUUUU!"
The big crunch made them close their eyes in fear and they ducked their heads into their shoulders; an enormous amount of leafage poured down on them and with a yowled "TOOOOOPEDYYYYYYY!!!" the ghost broke through the ceiling of branches, fell with ripped clothes and a dirty face onto the ground and in front of their feet.
______________________________________________________________________
"It was a good thing you brought him here. He was very confused at first, but got faster accustomed to his new environment as anyone expected" the doctor explained them, whilst they wandered down the happy-painted hallway in direction of Willy's room.
"Even though he is still not speaking much more than his gibberish and the sentence 'My name is Willy', we think to have figured out a lot about his state."
Key nodded and faked to understand, what the doctor was talking about and Jonghyun made a gloomy face.
Arrived in front of a door, the doctor opened it carefully and told the old man about his visitors. "Look Willy, who came by to see you! Do you remember the two boys, that helped you last year to get here?"
The old man-ornithologist-ghost looked up from the tiny table he sat on with a tiny chair under his butt and a big piece of paper in front of him with a big puddle of brown paint on it.
Willy tilted his head, murmured 'Tipedy-tirrily...' and focused on his painting again.
Tall and short stayed in the hallway, taking a glance into the narrow room, filled with pictures of a brown monster. They were EVERYWHERE!
"Well, he seems to be busy" the doctor remarked and closed the door again.
Back in his office, the doctor offered them a seat and a nasty tasting water, he had called coffee, and he continued to inform them about Willy.
"He must have seen something terrible out there; the brown monster he constantly paints we think has given him such a shock, that he lost his mind over it."
The two boys shared a quick glance.
"But we still wonder, what that might have been and how he had survived for assumedly a year alone in the woods."
Jonghyun and Key still didn't comment, so the doctor wanted to break the ice with the nice offer: "Do you want to stay for our 'Two-man-show' by our very talented schizophrenic house-comedian?"
When they left the building ten minutes later, they didn't spoke for a while. The short one, still with a gloomy face, was waiting for the tall one to finally admit it.
It so happened at the bus-station.
"You were right", Key admitted, "That was no fun and therefor not in question to become the yearly ritual anymore. Let's go to the woods again next year and fuck."
Jonghyun grinned now a grin, well-known all over the world as the 'I finally got what I wanted and I am glad we are through this, but please don't dare to ever question our new found old ritual again, because I just want to do it in this bush-thingie with you'-grin and said: "Third time is a charm, babe."
Ponylove for the Shawols ~ ♥♥♥
~ Spooky, huh? If I would ever walk in on the Jongkey-mating, I sure would go insane as well, kekeke. But hey, I am just one step away from the nuts-house anyways (^0^)
So, I hope ya all enjoyed and will have a fun weekend with a whole lot of nice SHINee-Hello-Stages, kekekeke. GHOST-STORIES FTW!! and comments will be very loved~ ♥
(Masterlist: "The Dozen") (Masterlist: "The CB- Man") (Masterlist: "Stable of Stories")