[oneshot] to the limit
to the limit; bapxo, suchan, himchan-centric camaraderie!fic, canon, g, 1715wc.
himchan remembers kim junmyeon.
❖
Kim Junmyeon was known for being naïve; oblivious to the world around him but never forgetting the little things, like to throw a smile-a genuine one-at any student he passed as he stalked across the K-ARTS campus alone. Students knew him as the “flop trainee”, someone who, no matter how hard he tried, would never be good enough. And yet, even without having spoken to Junmyeon, Himchan knew that all the rumors were false. They were all lies, perhaps masked behind coat upon coat of jealousy, because even though Junmyeon has been training for five years, he’s still eons ahead of the rest of his peers. People sneer at his back as he walks by, spreading rumors in hushed voices in the hallways. But their angry, envious selves seem to deteriorate the second Junmyeon turns to them with his kind eyes, starting menial conversations with them, asking questions like “How was your day?” or “What do you suggest I have for lunch today?” It’s almost sad, Himchan thinks, as he watches the faces of two classmates wracked with guilt after Junmyeon has walked away from them. It’s sad because he can’t trust anybody. Because nobody can be honest with themselves and what they really think, when in reality, how they feel is exactly how everyone else feels. Humans are all the same. Himchan learns this growing up, surrounded by the same people with the same expectations for him, the same people who were thrown into a world of chaos and unfamiliarity when they learned that Himchan was asked to join TS Entertainment and he had accepted the offer, that one day, he was going to be a star, and there was nothing they could do about it. You learn by breaking the rules. And nobody on campus had the guts to set things right.
The only reason why Himchan hadn’t made any moves was because TS told him to lay low, to complete his studies well while still making it to practice every evening. He learns to sing, to dance and is once given a private lesson named "Rapping 101", courtesy of Yongguk. He finds that none of them suit him, but he vows to try harder harder to make things work somehow. He meets Jongup, a timid and reserved boy backstage who bursts into flames and oozes passion when he’s dancing. He walks past the practice rooms and hears the harmonizing voices of Jung Daehyun and Yoo Youngjae, two incredibly promising, incredibly talented vocalists that have become best friends along the way to their inevitable success. Sometimes, his mind wanders to Junmyeon, and he wonders if Junmyeon does the same things, if he’s better, if he’s any closer to living his dreams.
❖
To atone for his lack of action, Himchan befriends Junmyeon instead, plopping down beside him in the library during a free period they happen to share. Junmyeon looks at him, puzzled for a second, but he recovers almost as quickly and smiles gently. They introduce themselves, and Junmyeon feigns surprise when Himchan quickly tells him “I know who you are.” Of course he does. The failure of a trainee, the one kid who chooses to march on in a seemingly losing battle. Himchan shakes his head and says, “No, the kid with a genuine smile.”
Junmyeon’s eyes light up, and Himchan laughs, throwing an arm around Junmyeon’s shoulder. Neither of them are piqued by the sudden intimacy. After all, in a dog-eat-dog industry, you might as well hold onto whatever friends you make, and hold on tight. They spend a three or four hours a week together, chatting unceremoniously about how their companies work, Himchan sneering at the thought of a trainer who insists that he take up rapping. “God damn it, I told the woman that I just can’t!” Himchan samples one of the raps that Yongguk and a new dongsaeng, Junhong, had taught him, and Junmyeon laughs wholeheartedly because Himchan really can’t rap, slapping his knee as he breathes in hiccups until the Librarian’s head appears behind a bookshelf and hushes them while staring daggers in their direction. Junmyeon bows his head in apology and Himchan sinks into his seat, turning his head in the other direction. As soon as she disappears, they slip into hushed chuckles, beating their chests and throats so as to keep the sounds as muted as possible.
❖
It’s two weeks after Yongguk features in Ji Eun-seonbae’s “Going Crazy” that Himchan is told he will be joining the lineup for TS’s new boy group. His CEO, Kim Tae-Song, stares him right in the face, voice completely serious, and it only hits Himchan that his dreams are coming true after he’s guided out of the CEO’s office. He wants to jump for joy, to run through the halls and rooms that have been preparing him for this moment for years. He smiles as wide as he can as he runs through the halls, pushing past people as he heads for the roof. He flings his arms into the air, shouting his cheers into Seoul’s springtime. Something tugs at his heartstrings, though, and while he’s walking home that night he remembers Junmyeon, quiet, happy Junmyeon. Junmyeon, who works so hard and tries his best in everything he does so that he ranks within the Top 50 of his department, and yet is never given what he really wants. And it dawns on him that he won’t be seeing Junmyeon for a very, very long time, because preparations for the debut start next week. His face falls, and the night is suddenly so much colder, as he tugs his jacket around his face and stalks home at two in the morning, the nip of a stray winter breeze stinging his nape.
Himchan leaves K-Arts with a heavy heart, bidding farewell to Junmyeon last. It isn’t planned, and they meet in the library, quiet and intimate and personal, and Himchan almost says sorry, I’m sorry for debuting first, I’m sorry that no matter how hard you worked, it was never enough for SM. They’re crazy. They don’t know what they’re doing. I’ll always believe in you. Instead, he smiles, slinging an arm around Junmyeon’s shoulder, hissing a few quips under his breath so as to avoid the wrath of the Librarian. They spend their last hour together laughing, reminiscing, worrying about the work that Himchan’s going to miss. Junmyeon insists that he’ll help relay Himchan’s schoolwork to his house. Himchan thanks him for the offer, but convinces him that it’ll be too complicating seeing as the both of them are in different departments. The last thing that Junmyeon does is smile, placing a delicate hand on Himchan’s shoulder, the brown pools that he called eyes burning into Himchan’s soul. His entire body almost shakes with warmth.
“You’ll do great,” Junmyeon says, and Himchan sees him crack in a slight twitch of the forehead, a light furrowing of the brow. Envy. Hurt. Himchan is leaving him. And they may be in different departments, but that’s one less person to talk to. That’s more time left for feeling alone. “I’ll be rooting for you.”
And he smiles again, that infectious, genuine smile that makes Himchan realize that he shouldn’t be sorry, because no matter what, Junmyeon really is rooting for him. He imagines that one day they’ll share the stage at an encore and whisper behind the backs of their seonbaes, their band-mates staring at them curiously as they giggle and share secrets about their lives pre and post debut. “Soon,” Himchan says firmly as they shake hands before he leaves the campus for a year, in preparation for the one thing that will change his life forever, and its a silent promise that they make, with Himchan asking that Junmyeon remembers him when they get there. Because they can. They will. Junmyeon nods, grip firm, eyes determined.
❖
The next time they meet, Junmyeon-no, Suho, is nearing the end of his promotions for his debut song, and Himchan is only starting with his first Comeback. There’s a sense of urgency that arises within Himchan’s chest when he sees Suho across the stage, lingering authoritatively behind his fellow members as they wait for the ranking segment of the show to begin. He picks up pace without realizing, feet moving on their own until all of a sudden, he has walked past Yongguk and is going full-speed ahead towards EXO-K, who stare at him incredulously, half surprised and half terrified, before Suho’s face breaks into a smile and his arms open up, pulling Himchan into a tight embrace.
“You did it,” Himchan says after the champion is crowned. He and Suho walk offstage together, arms slung around each-others’ necks, and all of a sudden, they’re Kim Himchan and Kim Junmyeon again, in the library, making a silent promise about their futures thereafter. Junmyeon laughs, and his voice is much heartier, much happier, and he’s so much more confident that Himchan can’t help but laugh along.
“We made a promise,” Junmyeon says helplessly. “I don’t break my promises. Like you said, I’m a pretty genuine guy.”
“And I always believed in you, up till today. You did good, Kim Junmyeon.”
“As did you, Kim Himchan.”
They don't talk much after that, save for the small talk that they make backstage and via text message, but Suho is traveling the world with his group, and Himchan is preparing for comeback after comeback, until Junmyeon’s existence slips almost entirely out of Himchan’s mind, and is replaced by a fragmented image of Suho instead. The memories come rushing back anyways, when they see each other at the Gayo Daejun’s and when they hear each others’ songs playing on the radio or on TV. One day, a curious Daehyun asks Himchan about their camaraderie while “Mama” plays on TV. Himchan catches a flash of Junmyeon’s face and smiles. They’ve made it, albeit not together, but the memory of Kim Junmyeon and how he persevered has always edged Himchan on.
So Himchan thinks hard about what he wants to say to Daehyun, about whether or not he should tell him about their Librarian and their inside jokes and the Kimchi Jjigae from the cafeteria that they had shared once. Instead, he shakes his head and shrugs, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. “We aren’t that close. We just made a promise, that’s all. And I kind of think he kept it.”
He leaves it at that. Daehyun doesn’t ask.
❖
Junmyeon continues to keep the promise, for many years to come, until their coinciding comebacks run out, and all that’s left is a firm handshake that is sometimes exchanged in a bar long after the sun has set, smile as bright as ever.
❖
a.n. IS IT BAD THAT I NAMED THIS FIC AFTER A CORBIN BLEU SONG
YES
OKAY
SORRY OTL
but wow yes this is bapxo!! i don’t ship suchan, however it is a brotp, thus the friendship fic
i wondered how they got so close while being in different departments
and so i thought of this and
yes uv u i really like bapexo,
almost as much as i like perfectiontales, who this fic is dedicated to.
IT ISN’T MUCH
IT ISN’T TAOHUN
BUT IT’S STILL
AN ‘IT’.
yes!
i hope you enjoyed this one shot (if you’ve read this far!!!!) and have a lovely summer!
himchan remembers kim junmyeon.
❖
Kim Junmyeon was known for being naïve; oblivious to the world around him but never forgetting the little things, like to throw a smile-a genuine one-at any student he passed as he stalked across the K-ARTS campus alone. Students knew him as the “flop trainee”, someone who, no matter how hard he tried, would never be good enough. And yet, even without having spoken to Junmyeon, Himchan knew that all the rumors were false. They were all lies, perhaps masked behind coat upon coat of jealousy, because even though Junmyeon has been training for five years, he’s still eons ahead of the rest of his peers. People sneer at his back as he walks by, spreading rumors in hushed voices in the hallways. But their angry, envious selves seem to deteriorate the second Junmyeon turns to them with his kind eyes, starting menial conversations with them, asking questions like “How was your day?” or “What do you suggest I have for lunch today?” It’s almost sad, Himchan thinks, as he watches the faces of two classmates wracked with guilt after Junmyeon has walked away from them. It’s sad because he can’t trust anybody. Because nobody can be honest with themselves and what they really think, when in reality, how they feel is exactly how everyone else feels. Humans are all the same. Himchan learns this growing up, surrounded by the same people with the same expectations for him, the same people who were thrown into a world of chaos and unfamiliarity when they learned that Himchan was asked to join TS Entertainment and he had accepted the offer, that one day, he was going to be a star, and there was nothing they could do about it. You learn by breaking the rules. And nobody on campus had the guts to set things right.
The only reason why Himchan hadn’t made any moves was because TS told him to lay low, to complete his studies well while still making it to practice every evening. He learns to sing, to dance and is once given a private lesson named "Rapping 101", courtesy of Yongguk. He finds that none of them suit him, but he vows to try harder harder to make things work somehow. He meets Jongup, a timid and reserved boy backstage who bursts into flames and oozes passion when he’s dancing. He walks past the practice rooms and hears the harmonizing voices of Jung Daehyun and Yoo Youngjae, two incredibly promising, incredibly talented vocalists that have become best friends along the way to their inevitable success. Sometimes, his mind wanders to Junmyeon, and he wonders if Junmyeon does the same things, if he’s better, if he’s any closer to living his dreams.
❖
To atone for his lack of action, Himchan befriends Junmyeon instead, plopping down beside him in the library during a free period they happen to share. Junmyeon looks at him, puzzled for a second, but he recovers almost as quickly and smiles gently. They introduce themselves, and Junmyeon feigns surprise when Himchan quickly tells him “I know who you are.” Of course he does. The failure of a trainee, the one kid who chooses to march on in a seemingly losing battle. Himchan shakes his head and says, “No, the kid with a genuine smile.”
Junmyeon’s eyes light up, and Himchan laughs, throwing an arm around Junmyeon’s shoulder. Neither of them are piqued by the sudden intimacy. After all, in a dog-eat-dog industry, you might as well hold onto whatever friends you make, and hold on tight. They spend a three or four hours a week together, chatting unceremoniously about how their companies work, Himchan sneering at the thought of a trainer who insists that he take up rapping. “God damn it, I told the woman that I just can’t!” Himchan samples one of the raps that Yongguk and a new dongsaeng, Junhong, had taught him, and Junmyeon laughs wholeheartedly because Himchan really can’t rap, slapping his knee as he breathes in hiccups until the Librarian’s head appears behind a bookshelf and hushes them while staring daggers in their direction. Junmyeon bows his head in apology and Himchan sinks into his seat, turning his head in the other direction. As soon as she disappears, they slip into hushed chuckles, beating their chests and throats so as to keep the sounds as muted as possible.
❖
It’s two weeks after Yongguk features in Ji Eun-seonbae’s “Going Crazy” that Himchan is told he will be joining the lineup for TS’s new boy group. His CEO, Kim Tae-Song, stares him right in the face, voice completely serious, and it only hits Himchan that his dreams are coming true after he’s guided out of the CEO’s office. He wants to jump for joy, to run through the halls and rooms that have been preparing him for this moment for years. He smiles as wide as he can as he runs through the halls, pushing past people as he heads for the roof. He flings his arms into the air, shouting his cheers into Seoul’s springtime. Something tugs at his heartstrings, though, and while he’s walking home that night he remembers Junmyeon, quiet, happy Junmyeon. Junmyeon, who works so hard and tries his best in everything he does so that he ranks within the Top 50 of his department, and yet is never given what he really wants. And it dawns on him that he won’t be seeing Junmyeon for a very, very long time, because preparations for the debut start next week. His face falls, and the night is suddenly so much colder, as he tugs his jacket around his face and stalks home at two in the morning, the nip of a stray winter breeze stinging his nape.
Himchan leaves K-Arts with a heavy heart, bidding farewell to Junmyeon last. It isn’t planned, and they meet in the library, quiet and intimate and personal, and Himchan almost says sorry, I’m sorry for debuting first, I’m sorry that no matter how hard you worked, it was never enough for SM. They’re crazy. They don’t know what they’re doing. I’ll always believe in you. Instead, he smiles, slinging an arm around Junmyeon’s shoulder, hissing a few quips under his breath so as to avoid the wrath of the Librarian. They spend their last hour together laughing, reminiscing, worrying about the work that Himchan’s going to miss. Junmyeon insists that he’ll help relay Himchan’s schoolwork to his house. Himchan thanks him for the offer, but convinces him that it’ll be too complicating seeing as the both of them are in different departments. The last thing that Junmyeon does is smile, placing a delicate hand on Himchan’s shoulder, the brown pools that he called eyes burning into Himchan’s soul. His entire body almost shakes with warmth.
“You’ll do great,” Junmyeon says, and Himchan sees him crack in a slight twitch of the forehead, a light furrowing of the brow. Envy. Hurt. Himchan is leaving him. And they may be in different departments, but that’s one less person to talk to. That’s more time left for feeling alone. “I’ll be rooting for you.”
And he smiles again, that infectious, genuine smile that makes Himchan realize that he shouldn’t be sorry, because no matter what, Junmyeon really is rooting for him. He imagines that one day they’ll share the stage at an encore and whisper behind the backs of their seonbaes, their band-mates staring at them curiously as they giggle and share secrets about their lives pre and post debut. “Soon,” Himchan says firmly as they shake hands before he leaves the campus for a year, in preparation for the one thing that will change his life forever, and its a silent promise that they make, with Himchan asking that Junmyeon remembers him when they get there. Because they can. They will. Junmyeon nods, grip firm, eyes determined.
❖
The next time they meet, Junmyeon-no, Suho, is nearing the end of his promotions for his debut song, and Himchan is only starting with his first Comeback. There’s a sense of urgency that arises within Himchan’s chest when he sees Suho across the stage, lingering authoritatively behind his fellow members as they wait for the ranking segment of the show to begin. He picks up pace without realizing, feet moving on their own until all of a sudden, he has walked past Yongguk and is going full-speed ahead towards EXO-K, who stare at him incredulously, half surprised and half terrified, before Suho’s face breaks into a smile and his arms open up, pulling Himchan into a tight embrace.
“You did it,” Himchan says after the champion is crowned. He and Suho walk offstage together, arms slung around each-others’ necks, and all of a sudden, they’re Kim Himchan and Kim Junmyeon again, in the library, making a silent promise about their futures thereafter. Junmyeon laughs, and his voice is much heartier, much happier, and he’s so much more confident that Himchan can’t help but laugh along.
“We made a promise,” Junmyeon says helplessly. “I don’t break my promises. Like you said, I’m a pretty genuine guy.”
“And I always believed in you, up till today. You did good, Kim Junmyeon.”
“As did you, Kim Himchan.”
They don't talk much after that, save for the small talk that they make backstage and via text message, but Suho is traveling the world with his group, and Himchan is preparing for comeback after comeback, until Junmyeon’s existence slips almost entirely out of Himchan’s mind, and is replaced by a fragmented image of Suho instead. The memories come rushing back anyways, when they see each other at the Gayo Daejun’s and when they hear each others’ songs playing on the radio or on TV. One day, a curious Daehyun asks Himchan about their camaraderie while “Mama” plays on TV. Himchan catches a flash of Junmyeon’s face and smiles. They’ve made it, albeit not together, but the memory of Kim Junmyeon and how he persevered has always edged Himchan on.
So Himchan thinks hard about what he wants to say to Daehyun, about whether or not he should tell him about their Librarian and their inside jokes and the Kimchi Jjigae from the cafeteria that they had shared once. Instead, he shakes his head and shrugs, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. “We aren’t that close. We just made a promise, that’s all. And I kind of think he kept it.”
He leaves it at that. Daehyun doesn’t ask.
❖
Junmyeon continues to keep the promise, for many years to come, until their coinciding comebacks run out, and all that’s left is a firm handshake that is sometimes exchanged in a bar long after the sun has set, smile as bright as ever.
❖
a.n. IS IT BAD THAT I NAMED THIS FIC AFTER A CORBIN BLEU SONG
YES
OKAY
SORRY OTL
but wow yes this is bapxo!! i don’t ship suchan, however it is a brotp, thus the friendship fic
i wondered how they got so close while being in different departments
and so i thought of this and
yes uv u i really like bapexo,
almost as much as i like perfectiontales, who this fic is dedicated to.
IT ISN’T MUCH
IT ISN’T TAOHUN
BUT IT’S STILL
AN ‘IT’.
yes!
i hope you enjoyed this one shot (if you’ve read this far!!!!) and have a lovely summer!