blah. update.
so i'm stuck in another tarpit. always happens. everything's static. no motion.
i'm the most spoiled kid in the world. everything i've ever wanted i've gotten, and with little or no effort. it is such a problem because i never learned to have to fight for things. so that if i wanted something i wait for it to come to me. if it takes effort, i give it up. it's not worth it, it's not for me. not so much spoiled. just that a)i never want very much b)i am very lucky. and this applies to every arena of life. which leaves me here, wanting nothing, having no direction to go, and thus, motionless and miserable.
i get tired of everything so quickly. two weeks and one day of job and i'm tired of it, don't want to go. there's nothing i don't like about it. i'm just bored. and i guess i'm going through a low-motivation thing again. happens like every 2 or 3 weeks. just everything falls apart, including personal sanitation and desire for anything. not enough to be "depressed". just enough to ruin all my plans and make it really hard to pick things up when it's over. i think it's almost over.
work is ok. getting bored. mostly because my boss has been sick for the past week and probably will not be in this week either. which makes my life very dull seeing as i am, to some extent, her assistant. ah well. i'm sure when she gets back my life will be hectic and stressful and i'll hate it. i should value this boredom. but i hate boredom. especially when i have to wake up for it in the morning.
i love you good night.
i'm the most spoiled kid in the world. everything i've ever wanted i've gotten, and with little or no effort. it is such a problem because i never learned to have to fight for things. so that if i wanted something i wait for it to come to me. if it takes effort, i give it up. it's not worth it, it's not for me. not so much spoiled. just that a)i never want very much b)i am very lucky. and this applies to every arena of life. which leaves me here, wanting nothing, having no direction to go, and thus, motionless and miserable.
i get tired of everything so quickly. two weeks and one day of job and i'm tired of it, don't want to go. there's nothing i don't like about it. i'm just bored. and i guess i'm going through a low-motivation thing again. happens like every 2 or 3 weeks. just everything falls apart, including personal sanitation and desire for anything. not enough to be "depressed". just enough to ruin all my plans and make it really hard to pick things up when it's over. i think it's almost over.
work is ok. getting bored. mostly because my boss has been sick for the past week and probably will not be in this week either. which makes my life very dull seeing as i am, to some extent, her assistant. ah well. i'm sure when she gets back my life will be hectic and stressful and i'll hate it. i should value this boredom. but i hate boredom. especially when i have to wake up for it in the morning.
i love you good night.