Birthday Weekend
For once, I'm posting because I'm happy and not depressed or sad, which were my moods in my previous entries, I think. This weekend was so much fun. I got drunk both nights, but didn't have hangovers in the morning and I didn't throw up! I'm proud of myself. Haha, but seriously it's good I was able to stop before getting wasted. My counselor and I talked about if I would ever cheat again. I think after everything that's happened, I won't. It may not mean anything to me, but it means something to other people and I should respect that. Wow, a lesson to be learned! I didn't think there was one in this garbage dump of a situation, but I'm well on my way to being happy again. As Greg Behrendt once said "If you can lie in your bed late at night, loving the skin you're in, you can always count on someone to come along and fuck it up with love." And that is when I will meet someone, when I'm so happy that I feel like I don't need a boyfriend.
It was so great to finally do what I wanted to do this weekend instead of skipping the drinking because Trevor would want to hang out. I could relax and talk to guys without worrying what Trevor would think or what's right or wrong in a relationship. It's still hazy to me. At the moment, I am content with not having a boyfriend. I have a lot more time to do things for myself. It's nice to live for me instead of constanting wondering when I will see my boyfriend next or missing him. Now I don't miss anyone, and I can just focus on making myself happy. Someday I will meet a guy who likes me the way I am, and I won't have to change in order to make the relationship work out.