TOKYO vs. OSAKA: An Empirical Analysis

[pongatari]

Let's delve into Japan's longest standing rivalry that only people in Osaka seem to give a rat's ass about. After several years of living in Osaka and 3 days traipsing around Tokyo as a tourist, I feel that I have sufficient knowledge to evaluate the matter from an expert's perspective.

TOKYO: No One Sleep In Tokyo
OSAKA: ...to my knowledge, has

Comments

[rodney_mctaco]

"Dudes, Osaka people talk properly like Americans speak proper English. Just go with me on this one."

No, man, that's more like saying "Osaka people talk properly like people from the South speak proper English."

As in, if you got a real refined, smoove, old school motherfucker from like New Orleans or Georgia (you know, like a Colonel Sanders type dude), he probably sounds cool. But most of the people there just sound like ignorant fucking hillbillies.

Most people* in Osaka don't even speak Osakaben properly. They sound like hicks. A lot of them can't even fucking use keigo properly. Young guys in Tokyo generally sound like fags, and young broads sound like idiots (whereas young people in Osaka sound like hick fags and hick idiots, disrespectively) (see what I did there?), but to the credit of "regular" people in Tokyo, they actually have a much better grasp on the language than the mental giants out here do.

*Including myself. I got some Kyotoben mixed in there to make it all classy-like! Because I'm the motherfucking Colonel Sanders of Kansai, suh.

And cuz I lived there for like five years and can't help it.