Caden
Around 5:30am on Monday morning, July 19th, I awoke to what I can only describe as period cramps - a bit more intense - that came on and then left. I got a little bit excited, but lay in bed and started thinking, "Could today be the day? ... Finally?" Ten minutes later, the pain came over me again - and then again another 10 minutes later. I decided to get up and start doing some things around the house and see how things went. I had stuff to do if this baby was coming today!
I started some laundry and cleaned the kitchen. Around 6:30am, I started the Contraction Master App on my iPhone. Sure enough, they were coming about 8 minutes apart now. I tiptoed into the bedroom and kissed Jack awake. "I think I might be in labor," I whispered. His eyes suddenly focused, "Really?" he said with equal parts happiness and anxiety. I told him to go back to bed and try to sleep - it was really early and I'd wake him if I needed him. He closed his eyes and I was happy for it because I felt like I had a lot to accomplish around the house before we made any kind of move to the hospital. I finished packing my bags and tried hard to keep up with the Contraction Master but I missed a few while I was cleaning. Things were progressing though! I texted the girl who was going to watch the animals saying, "Maybe you should pack a bag - I think today is the day!" She called me when she woke up.
Jack got up and encouraged me to call my doctor. I wanted to wait until I was somewhere between 5 - 7 minutes apart, but more truthfully, I still wanted to do a bunch more around the apartment. It was becoming clear that I was progressing quickly though. I got in the shower to wash good and shave - I wanted to feel super clean - and then called my doctor when I got out. She said to head to the hospital when I was around 5 minutes apart. We called a car service around 10:30am. Things were getting a little bit uncomfortable, but I felt good.
The ride into the city was brutal. I felt every bump and there's a lot of bumps on these NYC roads. It took us the better portion of 30 minutes to get to the hospital. My contractions were clocking in under 4 minutes apart by then. My girlfriend, Jenn, met us at the hospital with a blueberry muffin and a lemonade for me - God bless her. I was starving and didn't really eat. I knew the hospital wouldn't want me eating either. I scarfed down the muffin while I was in triage. The nurses tried to say something to me about it, but I answered them while eating more of the muffin so they knew it was a lost cause and they let it go.
A couple of residents came in to examine me. I was already hooked up to a fetal monitor and a contraction monitor. My contractions were incredibly regular and hitting one right after the other. I didn't really want the residents to examine me because I knew that the new rotation of residents starts in June and they would be inexperienced. But I alternately wanted to know how dialated I was. They examined me and said I was only 1 - 2 centimeters. I could have strangled them. I turned to Jack and said, "This is why I didn't want residents examining me." He asked me if I wanted him to get me a doctor. I said no, let's see how this plays out. I knew I was in labor. Another resident came in next - one who had lots of confidence and seemed to have been working there for awhile. She examined me and said I was 3.5 centimeters and she swept my membranes. I started to really bleed. She said my doctor wanted me admitted and that I would be moving to my room very soon.
They wheeled us into my labor and delivery room and it was gorgeous. It was almost like a really nice hotel room. My L&D nurse, Patrice, was super nice and stayed in the room with me on a computer monitoring everything. I was hooked up again and everything was progressing nicely. I was able to refuse an IV, instead they gave me a hep lock. And at some point, they unhooked me from all the machines so I could walk around a bit and get the labor really going. Around 3:30pm, things got really painful. I mean like really really painful. I could no longer focus, breathe, or really do anything. I had never felt so much pain in my life. It was all consuming. They examined me and I was only 4.5 centimeters. I got really scared at this point thinking how much further I had to go and the amount of pain I was in. My contractions were close to 2 minutes apart so I wasn't getting much relief in between. Everyone commented on how regular my contractions were - saying they were like "pitocin contractions" even though I was drug free at that point.
Many things went through my head - mostly that it was clear to me that every woman experiences something different during labor. I am no wimp when it comes to pain, but this was at a different level. I have a girlfriend who basically felt no pain during her 3 deliveries telling me she has "no idea what a period cramp feels like", and "giving birth was like a hard workout". This was certainly not the case for me. I thought I was being torn apart from the inside out. At 4:30pm, I said uncle and gave in. I asked Jack if he would mind if I got the epidural. He wouldn't let me finish my sentence and said, "you should get the epidural now." He was scared watching me suffer. I cried a little because I wanted so much to try hard to go natural, but it was really too much for me. And so the doctors all came in and prepped me for the epi.
So they raised the bed almost to the ceiling and I held Jack's hands while they gave me the injection. I was a little nervous, but the pain was so minimal that I don't even remember it. The pain of the contractions went away, and I could still feel and move my legs and I could feel the pressure building when a contraction was coming on. That made me happy, because I was worried about that. At some point after that, the nurse was watching my monitors and left the room quickly. We heard her yell, "DETAIL!" and my room number and I looked at Jack and was like, "Did she just yell my room number?" He said yes. She came back in and I said, "Are you worried about me?" and she admitted that yes, a little bit but I not to stress about it because everyone would be in to check me in a second. Sure enough, the room started swarming with people. My blood pressure dove to 70/40 and I started to feel dizzy and super sleepy. My contractions were strong as ever though and still coming regularly. The baby's heart rate was dropping with every contraction too. They pumped me full of ephedrine and IV fluids. I was given 4 bags of IV fluid in 15 minutes. All I cared about was the baby's heart rate though.
The doctor on call came in to see me - my regular doctor was not on that night which bothered me, but okay - I had seen this doctor once in the office and liked her somewhat then. The blood pressure finally got to a reasonable place but the baby's heart rate was not recovering well after every contraction. She broke my water. She had me flip to one side then the next all the while stimulating the baby's head manually to try to get his heart rate up. It worked a little bit. She put an internal fetal monitor on his head too so that they could have a better read. At some point, they had me on my hands and knees while the doctor had her hand up me stimulating the baby. I stayed that way for a good 30 minutes. The baby liked it better that way. I told them I would stay that way all night if I had to. They were impressed that I could do all of this while on the epidural. I really had no problem feeling my legs.
At some point, I started looking at the faces of all of the support staff that was in the room and realized that they all had various looks of concern. I started really tuning in to them then and realized that the doctor was being a bit wishy-washy. She wasn't sure if it was a problem for the baby. She kept saying she wasn't convinced. The people kept looking at each other and not saying anything. I started really asking lots of questions then. I pushed her a bit and started really not liking her as my doctor at that point. I wanted someone cocky and sure of themselves. She then told me that my regular doctor had been trying to switch the call with her so she could come in to take care of me. I felt some relief.
My doctor walked in about 15 minutes later and the energy in the room just completely changed. She took control of the whole room and started ordering different things to happen. She ordered a drug that would slow down my contractions to see if the baby would do better. She said she would work with me to give me a little bit more time to see if the baby would be able to be delivered vaginally, but if at any point she felt there was a danger that all bets were off and I was having a c-section.
I kept my eyes glued to the screen. The baby's heart rate earlier was dropping from 150-160 to 70 beats per minute. Dr. Francis got it up to 140 beats per minute. I thought that was good, but at 9pm, she made the decision that enough was enough and the baby had to come out. I was 7 centimeters at that point and nothing was really slowing my contractions down. She left the room and I had a mini-breakdown. I cried to Jack that I was so scared. I called my mom and said I was so scared. Jack comforted me, telling me the baby would be here so soon. I got myself together before they wheeled me to the operating room.
Jack was taken off to a different area to get changed into scrubs. I was brought into a bright white and silver room. They transferred me over to the operating table. You should know that by this point I had zero of my dignity left. I was already buck naked in the L&D room on my hands and knees bleeding and being examined constantly. Now here I was buck naked on the operating room table with men and women swarming around me prepping me for surgery. I think I thought it was funny at that point because I announced in a loud voice so everyone in the room could hear, "I'm NAKED!!" Everyone started laughing. "Yes you are!" said one of the scrub nurses. Another one told me not to feel bad that it's like this here all the time and there's no dignity in it. I just laughed with them. I wanted my baby to be okay.
The doctor came in at that point and started taking her position at the table. I kept asking for Jack cause he wasn't there yet. They assured me he was on his way. I had to do a double take when my tough guy walked in in light blue scrubs and a shower cap. He sat right next to me and held my hand. Ten minutes into the procedure, the doctor said "Lots of pressure - here he comes" and it was a bit uncomfortable but it was okay. The doctor pulled him out and I heard her say, "Oh my God, he's a big baby!" Jack was able to stand up and look at him. They placed him on my belly, he said and I heard him cry. "That's my baby!! That's my baby!!" I said to Jack and started crying myself.
They brought the baby over to the other side of the room and I told Jack to go with him. No one wanted to let him cause I was still opened up and he'd walk right past all of that. I told them he wouldn't look and they said okay. (Yes, of course he looked and later told me how now he thinks of his wife as a horror flick - nice, huh?) They yelled out that he was 8 pounds 15 ounces! His Apgar Score was 9/9. Yay! I was so happy!! The doctor said he was trying to get out but was stuck in the birth canal and the contractions were too much for him - that it was good that we did the c-section. Jack brought the baby over to me - he looked just like Jack - you could see it right away! I kissed him and cried and they had to go to the nursery so Jack followed the baby to the nursery while the doctors worked on closing me.
At some point, I started feeling lots of pain. No one is really sure what happened here even to this day, but the pain was just awful. I was trembling from giving birth (who knew you tremble even when you have a c-section?) and the pain was just overwhelming. They started pumping me full of morphine and two other pain medications. Nothing was working - or it was taking a really long time to work. I was crying at this point. One of the anesthesiologists had left the room before all of this happened and the other one needed some different medicine for me but couldn't leave the room to go get it because he would be leaving me alone. I was miserable. Finally, the other guy came back and he was able to get that other medicine which helped me.
I was wheeled to the recovery room where Jack and the baby came in to see me. I was somewhat out of it because of the morphine but as soon as I saw my baby, it was like this huge sobering effect. I was in love!! I asked the nurse if I could breast feed and she initially had some concern about it because of all the narcotics I was on - saying I could fall asleep or not be in control of the situation. I assured her I would be fine and they said okay. He latched on like a champ. They moved me to a postpartum room not long after and I had my baby finally! I was so tired and so awake and so happy! Jack was not allowed to stay overnight and it was okay cause I had my baby with me!
He is so perfect. We decided to name him Caden. It means fighter. Quite a boy name for our little man - it fits him well. I am head over heels in love. More stories soon - must go walk the dogs.