when i am among the trees
i somehow got directed to a blog called ink on my fingers and spent the next 30 minutes with my heart in my throat reading. i am not really sure if i will add her to my daily blog readings mostly because of how uncomfortable i was "thumbing" through some of her entries. i can't really place why - but i think it has to do with how honest she is in her words and the tremendous heaviness she is carrying around after the man she loved suddenly died three years ago.
i still struggle with finding my own words and with even finding what it is i am feeling. lately, with gram being unwell so often, i am wrestling with thoughts of what life will be like when she passes. tears are an automatic physical response to even saying that out loud. i think though that this is something i need to start figuring out otherwise i will be a complete puddling mess at some point in my life.
lately, i have been thinking of someday changing career paths again and much of it has been inspired by my grandparents. i have book after book on birds and nature and trees. i think somehow i will follow this path at some point. im not sure how or when or where, but i can feel the fire burning.
a few things regarding ink on my fingers:
.. she subscribes to this blog that gives writing assignments once a week. i thought that a few of my friends here might enjoy this (or not). an interesting challenge anyway. *looks to phaenix_ash, helima, i_dread, thesecretchord, lillianleitzel*
.. i clearly am uncomfortable with being uncomfortable. that is why i haven't yet added her to my rss feeds. however, i have a feeling that i will revisit this.
.. she had this poem in one of her entries and i found it really beautiful, so i am re-posting it here.
.. i am grateful that i was directed to her blog today.
When I Am Among the Trees
When I am among the trees,
especially the willows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say they save me, and daily.
I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly, and bow often.
Around me the trees stir in their leaves
and call out, "Stay awhile!"
The light flows from their branches.
And they call again, "It's simple," they say,
"And you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine."
~ Mary Oliver, Thirst, 2006
have a pleasant day! xx
i still struggle with finding my own words and with even finding what it is i am feeling. lately, with gram being unwell so often, i am wrestling with thoughts of what life will be like when she passes. tears are an automatic physical response to even saying that out loud. i think though that this is something i need to start figuring out otherwise i will be a complete puddling mess at some point in my life.
lately, i have been thinking of someday changing career paths again and much of it has been inspired by my grandparents. i have book after book on birds and nature and trees. i think somehow i will follow this path at some point. im not sure how or when or where, but i can feel the fire burning.
a few things regarding ink on my fingers:
.. she subscribes to this blog that gives writing assignments once a week. i thought that a few of my friends here might enjoy this (or not). an interesting challenge anyway. *looks to phaenix_ash, helima, i_dread, thesecretchord, lillianleitzel*
.. i clearly am uncomfortable with being uncomfortable. that is why i haven't yet added her to my rss feeds. however, i have a feeling that i will revisit this.
.. she had this poem in one of her entries and i found it really beautiful, so i am re-posting it here.
.. i am grateful that i was directed to her blog today.
When I Am Among the Trees
When I am among the trees,
especially the willows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say they save me, and daily.
I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly, and bow often.
Around me the trees stir in their leaves
and call out, "Stay awhile!"
The light flows from their branches.
And they call again, "It's simple," they say,
"And you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine."
~ Mary Oliver, Thirst, 2006
have a pleasant day! xx