Hello.
Dear Mormons,
Just because my first name happens to be Joseph, my name tag at work announces it, and I had happen to share it with your founder does not, in fact, mean that I am, consciously or subconsciously, asking for a lecture on Joseph Smith. Now I know that's your job. I know preaching the word of ol' Joe Smith is your lot in life and I'm deeply sorry about that, but the fact is it would take torture by tabasco sauce enema for me to care about him.
If you can fulfill this small, teensy, weensy request for me I promise that I will stay respectfully silent about all things Mormon.
... like your funny underwear.
Yours truly,
Joseph THOMAS
Just because my first name happens to be Joseph, my name tag at work announces it, and I had happen to share it with your founder does not, in fact, mean that I am, consciously or subconsciously, asking for a lecture on Joseph Smith. Now I know that's your job. I know preaching the word of ol' Joe Smith is your lot in life and I'm deeply sorry about that, but the fact is it would take torture by tabasco sauce enema for me to care about him.
If you can fulfill this small, teensy, weensy request for me I promise that I will stay respectfully silent about all things Mormon.
... like your funny underwear.
Yours truly,
Joseph THOMAS