I'm a genius I tells you! A GENIUS!!!!
So it’s as I’m scrolling through an episode guide for the first two or so seasons of MMPR the other day and reliving how wonderfully cheesy this show was/is, and desperately wishing I hadn’t been such a pussy in middle school, and early high school, and actually kept all of my old episodes on tape. (I sadly taped over most of them like a fucking moron, and now I have to pay to get the vaguely ok eps off of Amazon) And it suddenly hits me how this show could have really made it, if instead of going for the ‘little kids, Saturday morning show’ rout; Went instead for the ‘HBO soft core porn series‘ type show. You know like those horrid TV movies they’ll play in the wee hours of the weekends on the movie channels after like ‘The Red Shoe Diaries’ They feature lame sex based storylines w/ very basic, and simple plots and are usually narrated by a chipper, and vaguely mischievous sounding woman. And it tries to play out as a regular TV movie, until they throw in a sudden random sex scene that contains lame stripteases and people grinding together in a way that shows off no genitalia what so ever except for the woman’s giant coconut breasts. and has lots of slow shots of them sharing sloppy, tongue filled kisses. All done to the horrible home economic video- keyboard/pan flute muzak. :D I mean think about it! Instead of a live-action Americanized Voltron, we’d have like a live-action Americanized Voltron: meets La Blue Girl! :D
And I’ve really thought about this. Probably way too much! But then again I had to travel out to VA for a birthday party/ baby shower, so I had plenty of time *to* think on this. There were so many episodes just in those first too seasons that all it would need is for the evil villain to be a little on the skanky side for the show to have taken a completely different turn. Just a little twist to the evil plot and boom! We have porn!
For example: Instead of the five rangers traveling to Billy’s Uncle’s cabain for the weekend to study for school finals, and being forced to have dreams of there worst failures, in order to lower there self confidence, thereby rendering them powerless; Have them instead be given wonderfully erotic wet dreams which will A) either cause them to engage in a wild all out orgy in the cabin there by forgetting to go and save the world when the monsters begin to attack. Or B) keeps them stuck in there erotic nightmares until Alpha five has to go and find a way to wake them up. Wacky hilarity ensues! :D
Or the episode where Billy and Kimberly swap bodies, ! I bet there were tons of scenes we could have had there! Like learning that the other sex doesn’t have it quite as easy as we thought they did, and why exactly Billy was always wearing those huge baggy overalls. Which gives over to a whole bout of scenes revolving around the importance of self-exploration. wacky music and silly sound effects will accompany the scenes.
Or how about the episode where the baddies create a team of fake rangers who look just like them and are sent down to Angel grove to get into mischief and mayhem so that the power rangers are stuck in detention while evil and chaos ensues outside. It’d be a lot funnier if instead of getting being stuck in detention for putting soap powder in the water fountain, they got stuck in drunk tank for the night because the imposters were caught giving hand jobs outside of the local library!
And there would be all new monsters! with the same horrible special effects! (AKA: cheap 4th o’ July fireworks stuffed in the ground and set off at the same time a good five feet away from the actors) There would be like… The Tounge-inator! With his mighty cunnlingus whip! And uh the powerful Venus Butterfly! :D and they would have to defeat them with their mighty Vibra-zords!
It so could have worked! And it still would have had all the great morals that people learned in the end of each episode, like safe sex, and keeping your threesomes with partners that you know and trust, and that it’s important to get consent from you’re partner before you try to bang him in the ass with a strap on. You know. All the stuff that normal shows are just to shy to make sure the kids know. ^_^
::sigh:: why aren’t I just fucking ROLLING in money right now? I mean really!
And I’ve really thought about this. Probably way too much! But then again I had to travel out to VA for a birthday party/ baby shower, so I had plenty of time *to* think on this. There were so many episodes just in those first too seasons that all it would need is for the evil villain to be a little on the skanky side for the show to have taken a completely different turn. Just a little twist to the evil plot and boom! We have porn!
For example: Instead of the five rangers traveling to Billy’s Uncle’s cabain for the weekend to study for school finals, and being forced to have dreams of there worst failures, in order to lower there self confidence, thereby rendering them powerless; Have them instead be given wonderfully erotic wet dreams which will A) either cause them to engage in a wild all out orgy in the cabin there by forgetting to go and save the world when the monsters begin to attack. Or B) keeps them stuck in there erotic nightmares until Alpha five has to go and find a way to wake them up. Wacky hilarity ensues! :D
Or the episode where Billy and Kimberly swap bodies, ! I bet there were tons of scenes we could have had there! Like learning that the other sex doesn’t have it quite as easy as we thought they did, and why exactly Billy was always wearing those huge baggy overalls. Which gives over to a whole bout of scenes revolving around the importance of self-exploration. wacky music and silly sound effects will accompany the scenes.
Or how about the episode where the baddies create a team of fake rangers who look just like them and are sent down to Angel grove to get into mischief and mayhem so that the power rangers are stuck in detention while evil and chaos ensues outside. It’d be a lot funnier if instead of getting being stuck in detention for putting soap powder in the water fountain, they got stuck in drunk tank for the night because the imposters were caught giving hand jobs outside of the local library!
And there would be all new monsters! with the same horrible special effects! (AKA: cheap 4th o’ July fireworks stuffed in the ground and set off at the same time a good five feet away from the actors) There would be like… The Tounge-inator! With his mighty cunnlingus whip! And uh the powerful Venus Butterfly! :D and they would have to defeat them with their mighty Vibra-zords!
It so could have worked! And it still would have had all the great morals that people learned in the end of each episode, like safe sex, and keeping your threesomes with partners that you know and trust, and that it’s important to get consent from you’re partner before you try to bang him in the ass with a strap on. You know. All the stuff that normal shows are just to shy to make sure the kids know. ^_^
::sigh:: why aren’t I just fucking ROLLING in money right now? I mean really!