days drag on, even practice and parties seem long
lexapro makes me jittery. meh.
i feel stagnant. i'm always so excited to come back to houston, but once i get here i'm depressed and blah and bored beyond belief. i'm excited to see people here. but they're people who have lives here and things to do and can't drop them for the girl who pops in every few months for two weeks. and i'm here and i go over to jemima and will's house and drink wine and watch tv and sometimes it feels like it's how things are supposed to be. but i think about moving here and....ergh. not going to happen.
august makes me like this. i'm not excited about anything but school starting. i'm not even excited by the prospect of spending money, which i shouldn't be doing, but i occasionally dangle the possibility carrotlike in front of myself to see how i'll react.
blah. i'm sick of stuff.
there is nothing of me in this house, and i'm tired of pretending i fit. maybe there's less of me in texas than i wanted to admit.
i feel stagnant. i'm always so excited to come back to houston, but once i get here i'm depressed and blah and bored beyond belief. i'm excited to see people here. but they're people who have lives here and things to do and can't drop them for the girl who pops in every few months for two weeks. and i'm here and i go over to jemima and will's house and drink wine and watch tv and sometimes it feels like it's how things are supposed to be. but i think about moving here and....ergh. not going to happen.
august makes me like this. i'm not excited about anything but school starting. i'm not even excited by the prospect of spending money, which i shouldn't be doing, but i occasionally dangle the possibility carrotlike in front of myself to see how i'll react.
blah. i'm sick of stuff.
there is nothing of me in this house, and i'm tired of pretending i fit. maybe there's less of me in texas than i wanted to admit.