(no subject)
I've been thinking about writing an entry for a few days and now that i'm on the site what was it that was on my heart that i specifically wanted to write about...theres a lot of things i'd like to write about but i feel like righting them out might make these certain things real and I don't know if i can face that reality...
Today is the big kick off diet day! I've got my new vitamins and hunger supressents on hand the goal right now is a 20-30lb loss to come back with after christmas break...as excited as I am i am so scared to fail...i want to dance i need to dance it's been my dream for so long and right now this weight issue which has always been an issue is a roadblock that god and my mom and susan and ron are crashing me into right now. But i'm building a support team I've told pretty much anyone that really truly cares that I think can and will help me...I felt like if I let in all those who care I'd have support not only from teachers and my mom but from my friends and fellow dancers as well. I have to do this for myself and my own self satisfaction and happiness...i'm at the point right now in the game where no one elses opinion can matter and I have to do this for me.
Pray for my dad and his surgery today!
I sent out halloween texts to practically my entire phone list and it's very interesting to see who replied and who didn't...
As much as I want to believe we have an unshakeable bond that can't be described I"m finding it hard to hold faith with our distance and your lack of communication...I want this towork because I believe that it can my hopes right now are that when I do see you things will be right and even if there not right away at least that we'll both have the want to make this work. I love you.
I heard in a movie that a woman is full of many deep dark secrets...and that excited me haha!
someone times i wonder if i miss you or just the idea of you though you've never let me close enough to your heart to really get to know your soul part of me sees that you have a beautiful soul and sometimes I find myself fantasizing about the idea of us being together...as far off base as that is today november 1st 2007...---i wish one day you'd let me in to truly be your friend...but until then i fantasize because you can never let go of good soul i believe because they are so rare to find.
Family and Close Friends are the glue that holds me together.
Today is the big kick off diet day! I've got my new vitamins and hunger supressents on hand the goal right now is a 20-30lb loss to come back with after christmas break...as excited as I am i am so scared to fail...i want to dance i need to dance it's been my dream for so long and right now this weight issue which has always been an issue is a roadblock that god and my mom and susan and ron are crashing me into right now. But i'm building a support team I've told pretty much anyone that really truly cares that I think can and will help me...I felt like if I let in all those who care I'd have support not only from teachers and my mom but from my friends and fellow dancers as well. I have to do this for myself and my own self satisfaction and happiness...i'm at the point right now in the game where no one elses opinion can matter and I have to do this for me.
Pray for my dad and his surgery today!
I sent out halloween texts to practically my entire phone list and it's very interesting to see who replied and who didn't...
As much as I want to believe we have an unshakeable bond that can't be described I"m finding it hard to hold faith with our distance and your lack of communication...I want this towork because I believe that it can my hopes right now are that when I do see you things will be right and even if there not right away at least that we'll both have the want to make this work. I love you.
I heard in a movie that a woman is full of many deep dark secrets...and that excited me haha!
someone times i wonder if i miss you or just the idea of you though you've never let me close enough to your heart to really get to know your soul part of me sees that you have a beautiful soul and sometimes I find myself fantasizing about the idea of us being together...as far off base as that is today november 1st 2007...---i wish one day you'd let me in to truly be your friend...but until then i fantasize because you can never let go of good soul i believe because they are so rare to find.
Family and Close Friends are the glue that holds me together.