my crazy dream -
i had the wildest dream last night:
i was on a family vacation or something - but it wasn't really my family. it was and it wasn't, dream style. there was one little girl specifically that seemed to be featured, a girl with Lord of the Flies type Piggy glasses. there was a big focus on her glasses, though the details are lost..
on this 'vacation' we ended up at a theater in the round, but instead of the audience circling the stage, the action was circling the audience. turns out the action is an obstical course and i am one of the players. unknown to me before, this track is very large (and impossible, in true dream fashion).
as a specific feature of the track, a dodge ball-like area is set up with three guys protecting a doorway that we have to get through without being hit by a ball. it's really difficult because there are no places to hide and the archway is only the size of a standard door. somehow, i end up higgly-piggly, coming at the course from the wrong direction - somehow i got turned around and came into the dodgeball area from the archway. at which point a ball was thrown at me and i caught it.
needless to say, they were pissed. the guy who through it got all upset and started yelling at me that i wasn't aloud to touch the ball, and knocked it out of my hands. it rolled away and into a door past the archway that was off to the side and only a little open.
so i went to look for it, feeling a little pissed but mostly curious. and more curious as i entered the room, because as i entered i was over come with a surreal sence of deja vus. and not just like, oh that's strange. deja vu in the sence where it was overpowering.
a cat folows me. the room i had entered held centered a white coffin, a closet in the back and many cubbords and clutter about. looking for the ball, but knowing i was looking for something else and not knowing what it was. i knew i would find it, but i also knew that i was afraid of whatever the outcome would be. but that if i didn't keep looking and figure it out, that i would never know what was going on, and why this sense of deja vu was so strong. i was drawn to a closet in the back of the room.
there i found a kitten sitting in a shoe and absentmindedly patted her head. to the left of it was a ball like the one i was looking for, but when i touched it it was heavy with rot and fell apart. to the right of the cat, against the wall, i find my cell phone. bright green, practically glowing with it's obviousness that it's mine and that it's not where i left it. i've been searching for something in this room, but i knew it wasn't the ball and now, looking at the phone, i know it's not that either. almost like it's a decoy.
i leave it where it's sitting and come out of the closet. i am consumed with this persisting feeling of deja vu and can't shake it. i look again for the ball, as if that is a comfort blanket to which i can come back to, even through the knowledge that the ball is of little importance and is not what i'm here for. because the way i'm feeling makes no sense.
i'm wearing my knit cap with the brim on it, the same that i wear almost every day now that the weather is cold. and i'm wearing it now. looking for .. something. i'm looking, and i know that i haven't found whatever it is yet. i just have to find it.
i pull out a drawer and there, behind the coffin and in a corner. in this drawer i find a dozen or so hats of slightly varying shades and knit, but for the most part exactly like the one i'm wearing. and under them are a bunch of hats that arent' mine, that are similar but i know they were never in my possesion. but i know without a doubt that these other hats HAVE been mine.
i'm collecting clues but still not solving the mystery. and the coffin is calling me, wanting me to open it. so i go to the door where there is a light switch next to it on the wall and flip on the light. but the light doesn't turn on, a tinny light in the door frame illuminates it from underneath. saying 'look under here'.
at this point, someone has come in and is helping me search. i know this person in my dream but on waking don't know who it was or even what gender. so the person is helping me to pry away the frame of the door, to look underneath. there comes to hand a string suddenly and just as abruptly i know i have to hold onto it. as i touch it, the wall and floor give way and my friend falls. i hold on to this string. somehow, this is the thing that i had to remember but couldn't have recalled because i was doing something i hadn't done. but i HAD done it, i'd done it many times and it was like there were a series of challenges that if conquered i would live. but i had died, i had done it wrong over and over. and like a video game, had started the process, unknowing, over again. but by keeping hold of this tinny string i had prevented it from happening again and broken the cycle.
down at the bottom of the hole, where my searching partner flounders, terrified in unknown water in the dark. he/ she tries to find something to hold onto, to climb. with an echoing finality a machine gun goes off and kills my friend. he/she had been trying to climb a turret mounted on the wall and had shot him/herself in the dark.
i swing back into the room.
the dream doesn't really end there, it goes on. but i can't really remember what happens, just snippets of nonsence. should have written it down right away...
i was on a family vacation or something - but it wasn't really my family. it was and it wasn't, dream style. there was one little girl specifically that seemed to be featured, a girl with Lord of the Flies type Piggy glasses. there was a big focus on her glasses, though the details are lost..
on this 'vacation' we ended up at a theater in the round, but instead of the audience circling the stage, the action was circling the audience. turns out the action is an obstical course and i am one of the players. unknown to me before, this track is very large (and impossible, in true dream fashion).
as a specific feature of the track, a dodge ball-like area is set up with three guys protecting a doorway that we have to get through without being hit by a ball. it's really difficult because there are no places to hide and the archway is only the size of a standard door. somehow, i end up higgly-piggly, coming at the course from the wrong direction - somehow i got turned around and came into the dodgeball area from the archway. at which point a ball was thrown at me and i caught it.
needless to say, they were pissed. the guy who through it got all upset and started yelling at me that i wasn't aloud to touch the ball, and knocked it out of my hands. it rolled away and into a door past the archway that was off to the side and only a little open.
so i went to look for it, feeling a little pissed but mostly curious. and more curious as i entered the room, because as i entered i was over come with a surreal sence of deja vus. and not just like, oh that's strange. deja vu in the sence where it was overpowering.
a cat folows me. the room i had entered held centered a white coffin, a closet in the back and many cubbords and clutter about. looking for the ball, but knowing i was looking for something else and not knowing what it was. i knew i would find it, but i also knew that i was afraid of whatever the outcome would be. but that if i didn't keep looking and figure it out, that i would never know what was going on, and why this sense of deja vu was so strong. i was drawn to a closet in the back of the room.
there i found a kitten sitting in a shoe and absentmindedly patted her head. to the left of it was a ball like the one i was looking for, but when i touched it it was heavy with rot and fell apart. to the right of the cat, against the wall, i find my cell phone. bright green, practically glowing with it's obviousness that it's mine and that it's not where i left it. i've been searching for something in this room, but i knew it wasn't the ball and now, looking at the phone, i know it's not that either. almost like it's a decoy.
i leave it where it's sitting and come out of the closet. i am consumed with this persisting feeling of deja vu and can't shake it. i look again for the ball, as if that is a comfort blanket to which i can come back to, even through the knowledge that the ball is of little importance and is not what i'm here for. because the way i'm feeling makes no sense.
i'm wearing my knit cap with the brim on it, the same that i wear almost every day now that the weather is cold. and i'm wearing it now. looking for .. something. i'm looking, and i know that i haven't found whatever it is yet. i just have to find it.
i pull out a drawer and there, behind the coffin and in a corner. in this drawer i find a dozen or so hats of slightly varying shades and knit, but for the most part exactly like the one i'm wearing. and under them are a bunch of hats that arent' mine, that are similar but i know they were never in my possesion. but i know without a doubt that these other hats HAVE been mine.
i'm collecting clues but still not solving the mystery. and the coffin is calling me, wanting me to open it. so i go to the door where there is a light switch next to it on the wall and flip on the light. but the light doesn't turn on, a tinny light in the door frame illuminates it from underneath. saying 'look under here'.
at this point, someone has come in and is helping me search. i know this person in my dream but on waking don't know who it was or even what gender. so the person is helping me to pry away the frame of the door, to look underneath. there comes to hand a string suddenly and just as abruptly i know i have to hold onto it. as i touch it, the wall and floor give way and my friend falls. i hold on to this string. somehow, this is the thing that i had to remember but couldn't have recalled because i was doing something i hadn't done. but i HAD done it, i'd done it many times and it was like there were a series of challenges that if conquered i would live. but i had died, i had done it wrong over and over. and like a video game, had started the process, unknowing, over again. but by keeping hold of this tinny string i had prevented it from happening again and broken the cycle.
down at the bottom of the hole, where my searching partner flounders, terrified in unknown water in the dark. he/ she tries to find something to hold onto, to climb. with an echoing finality a machine gun goes off and kills my friend. he/she had been trying to climb a turret mounted on the wall and had shot him/herself in the dark.
i swing back into the room.
the dream doesn't really end there, it goes on. but i can't really remember what happens, just snippets of nonsence. should have written it down right away...