105 weeks ago...
that's the last time i posted on livejournal. That's almost exactly 3 years. Guess I became a teacher and got behind on all sorts of things. Tis ok. I will post today anyway. Even if it's another 105 weeks until I do so again. Is it just me or do junior high kids know more about ife than they should? I have a seventh grader being treated for depression, a ninth grader in DT every few weeks, and a seventh grader who walked in with a neck that was purple with hickies. One just had a tumor removed from his stomach, another from her head, one being treated for anxiety and OCD, one with leukemia, one with autism. I guess I just led such a normal, boring junior high existence that I never realized these kinds of things happen to 12 year olds. That being said, being on the other side of things, teaching junior high, is about one of the least boring things I've ever done in my life. Well, except for grading papers. Can I just say how much I hate to grade papers? I hate grading papers. There. I said it. Anyone want to do it for me? I will hand my stacks over in a heartbeat. When my students complain about having to write an essay, I look them straight in the eye and say, "I have to read, edit, and grade 135 essays. Want to trade?" The inevitable response is, "I would HATE to be a teacher." To which I laugh and say, "Well, we can't all be masochists." To which they reply, "What?" And I say, "Never mind." The BEST part of being a teacher is getting to know my kids. Talking to them and joking with them and helping them understand something. If we could cut out the whole assignment/grading thing, it would be perfect. But there are too many of them in my classroom to anything but. Believe me, I tried. When you have 37 ninth graders in a classroom, discussions do not happen. It's like glorified crowd control. The only way to keep everyone under some measure of control is giving them all something to do. Here's the math: 45 minutes. 37 kids. 5 minutes for roll and starter. 5 minutes for cleanup and review. That leaves me 35 minutes. Let's say I spend ten minutes teaching the lesson. That leaves me about 25 minutes for individual attention. Which means each child gets about 45 seconds of my time. And that's a good day when everything runs perfect and smooth and there are no disruptions, no incidents, no confusion. Some days the most some kids get is a hello. And unfortunately it's usually the best kids who only get that. It's the bad ones who get all my attention, however ass backwards that may seem. My art classes are the biggest. I teach 7th grade Art. One class has 37 and one has 38. We only have 37 chairs and one old style desk attaching thing. We call that the lucky seat. One person each new seating chart gets put in the lucky seat. I had to call it that so they don't think I put them there because they are bad. Anyway, the seventh graders went on a field trip today, half at a time. So my classes were about half size. It was AMAZING!!! I got to have a conversation with each kid. We didn't spend ten minutes at the beginning of class trying to get everyone to be quiet so we could start class. I gave instruction in about half the time and all the kids got right to work. There was no fighting over glue sticks, there was hardly a mess, we could hear the music I turned on, it was great. Even the kids were like, "this is awesome. class should be this small all the time. it's so much calmer." Ok, when a SEVENTH grader says that they wish class was calmer, that should tell ya something right? They ask me if we will ever paint with tempera or use clay and I get this fleeting mental image of 38 seventh graders playing with paint and clay and the inevitable disaster that would mean and have to suppress a shudder as I say, "Not this year, unfortunately, we do not have enough time." I apologize for the school rant but it must come out somewhere and I'm sure Jason is tired of being my dumping ground. It is a secret I have learned about teaching: the way to stay happy, calm, patient teacher in the classroom is to be frustrated, annoyed teacher somewhere else. So I rant for a few minutes when I get home and then I'm good again. Sometimes I swear to GOD that I have almost thrown a hissy fit in class. I have discovered that deep inside of me there is a toddler that likes to creep out sometimes and this toddler me tries very hard to convince adult me that stamping my foot and whining and screaming would be the best possible response. Thank goodness I have self control of steel when it comes to tantrums. I've seen enough of them in two years of teaching to last me a lifetime. And I must say, I don't think there is anythign like being a teacher when it comes to honing your public speaking skills, your self confidence and your attitude. You learn fast. The first note you take away that says, "Ms. Henry is such a bitch" hurts a little. By the time you get the one that says, "If I have to write another poem I will kill myself. Ms. Henry's class is sooo boring OMG" you decide, "Yessss! " I only take the juicy notes. And I tell them that at the beginning of the year. Here is my note speech, "And about notes. I don't care. At least you are writing. But I will warn you, I only take the juicy ones. So if it looks interesting, you bet your bottom I'll be taking it and then I tack them up in the teacher's lounge so we can all enjoy it." I only have to take about two before they realize I really do only take the juicy ones. Oh and the ones that are like a conversation between two people in the same class...those are the BEST. So entertaining. There is almost always this part..."Hey, what's up?" "Nothing, just bored out of my mind lol" "Me too lol. So, yeah." "Yeah" This is probably evil of me to admit that I enjoy taking and reading notes but oh well. Oh and I forgot to add humor to my little list of things you develop. I laugh A LOT but my students like that about me. They like that I'm not super serious and business like. And for such an easygoing laidback person like myself, I have discovered that I have one kick ass little bitchy attitude hiding out. It comes out at just the right times. I love it. "This assignment is lame." "Well, C___ as much as I appreciate your little commentary on the quality of my workmanship, I don't require your approval to feel confident about it, so you can keep your critiques to yourself. Or better yet, write it in that Writer's Notebok you never turn in on time." But I assure you, I do only reserve these fun little comments for the rare occassions. Because as much as they say to never embarass a darling child, sometimes when they are on your last nerve and have been going after that one with a vengeance for three terms, nothing works better than one little embarassing comment like, "Ok, here's the deal, R____, I don't want you touching the stuff on my desk because I don't want your germs on it ok?" to stop them cold. It's survival of the fittest here ok. It's one me and THIRTY SEVEN thems. I do what I can. God, I love being a teacher though. So much. Really. It's hard. It's long. It's super weird. But it's great. It's fun. It's interesting. It's a thrill when I make them laugh, or when I get them interested or involved, or when I get a thank you Ms. Henry. Well, there you go. A 106th week update. I have to go make a grammar worksheet now.