Allein Allein (רכושנות)
Yesterday I had a terrible nightmare. In it Adam and I had gone our separate paths and not spoken for a long time. When I tried to talk to him it was always with this feeling of him not wanting me/rejecting me. When I finally asked him what the deal was he basically said that he didn't care to maintain our friendship any longer. This was simply devastating...I'd never even imagined the possibility of Adam not being my friend and thanks to the amplifying affect of anxiety dreams I woke up completely distracted. Even Assaf's cuteness and cuddling couldn't shake me out of it. Sympathetically, the sky was a flat dull grey all day and the next.
I know that 'the ties that bind, they are barbed and spined and hold us close forever' in deeply rooted friendships. I've been told enough times by my mom that the old friends never go away. Yet in this facebook poisoned world where I can see all my friend's newly crafted styles, deepening friendships and sharpened smiles my jealous heart cannot hold out. Every time I peruse a photoalbum it gathers a small aching cloud around that just weighs down. The resulting possessiveness doesn't manifest itself as typical jealousy but rather the well trodden path of melancholy. (That leaves a trail of overly-flowery prose in public journals).
I know that 'the ties that bind, they are barbed and spined and hold us close forever' in deeply rooted friendships. I've been told enough times by my mom that the old friends never go away. Yet in this facebook poisoned world where I can see all my friend's newly crafted styles, deepening friendships and sharpened smiles my jealous heart cannot hold out. Every time I peruse a photoalbum it gathers a small aching cloud around that just weighs down. The resulting possessiveness doesn't manifest itself as typical jealousy but rather the well trodden path of melancholy. (That leaves a trail of overly-flowery prose in public journals).