To Catch A Mirage (1/2)
Pairing: To Catch A Mirage
Rating: PG
Summary: In which Jongin is caught in an endless cycle of trying to save someone.
A/N: This story was posted last year on my old journal. I decided to post it here because I like this one and it's also the longest onshot I've written hahaha, something which i doubt will happen soon.
To Catch A Mirage
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Jongin wakes up to the shrilling sound of the alarm clock on his bedside table. He groans and covers his head with a pillow as his other hand reaches blindly for the satanic device. He slaps a hand over the clock and the device bounces off the table down to the floor with a loud crash. Jongin finally gives up his attempt to go back to sleep and sits up from his bed, his eyes still half closed and hair looking like a birds nest. He stumbles to the bathroom and proceeds to undress himself before stepping under the shower, shivering a bit when the water touches his skin.
He finally comes out of his room fully awake and dressed for another day on his job as a secretary. Jongin picks up his wallet and keys from the counter before heading out of the apartment. The drive takes twenty minutes and Jongin arrives to the office with a fresh cup of coffee for his boss who is currently buried under a stack of papers on his table.
“Good morning,” Jongin says as he enters.
“Where the fuck were you?” Chanyeol glares at Jongin while the latter puts down the cup of coffee on the table. “You’re supposed to come here earlier so that you can help me prepare for the stupid board meeting.”
“We’ve already finished the needed preparations yesterday. You’re just panicking.” Jongin rolls his eyes before saying. “Again.”
“I still need you to make copies of these though,” Chanyeol hands him a bunch of documents. “Also, today is the twenty ninth, meaning it’s the opening of Baekhyun’s club, so we have to be there tonight.”
Jongin nods absentmindedly as he scans the documents in his hands. He walks out of Chanyeol’s office in silence and thinks about the coming night.
_____________________________________________________
The opening of Baekhyun’s club is a success. There is loud music, drinks are pouring and dozens of people are crowding the dance floor. Jongin looks up, mesmerized by the flickering lights but scrunches his nose as he feels another girl run her hand up and down his back.
“Hey baby, wanna dance?” The girl breathes and warm air hits Jongin’s skin.
He smells the distinct smell of alcohol in her breath and Jongin gently pries her hands away. The girl moves her face closer to Jongin and he quickly evades the drunken girl’s advances.
“Not tonight, honey.” Jongin grins. “Try next time.”
The girl pouts and mumbles a slurred ‘your loss’ before pulling back and making her way towards the dance floor. He leans his back on the counter and sees Baekhyun and Chanyeol from the corner of his eyes, already making out. Jongin picks a cherry from Baekhyun’s cocktail and flicks it at the direction of the couple. It hits Chanyeol’s cheek, and the taller man pulls back from his boyfriend’s lips to scowl at Jongin, who only grins at them.
“I hate you.” Chanyeol says. Baekhyun downs the rest of his drink before going back behind the counter to serve alcohol to his customers. Chanyeol follows him with his eyes, a frown slowly forming on his mouth. “He’s too busy these days. I rarely get alone time with him.” he murmurs to Jongin.
“His business is just starting. Once things slow down, you guys can have sex all the time again.” Jongin almost spills his drink when Chanyeol whacks the back of his head. He looks up at the man and laughs out loud when he sees his friend blushing.
“Shut up.” Chanyeol whines. “I think you’re already drunk.”
Jongin shakes his head, a lazy grin on his mouth. “Tipsy maybe, but I’m definitely not drunk.”
Chanyeol smirks at him. He raises his bottle in front of Jongin. “Let’s change that, then.”
They clink their bottles together and Chanyeol shouts for Baekhyun to get them more drinks. Baekhyun happily provides them alcohol and after a few more bottles, Jongin already feels a little bit fuzzy. Chanyeol suddenly disappears without him noticing and Jongin has a faint idea of where his tall friend might be, especially since Baekhyun is also nowhere in sight at the moment. He decides it is time to have fun and jumps off of his chair.
Jongin almost trips as he makes his way to the center of the dance floor. He drowns himself to the deafening music coming out of the speakers and mindlessly sways his body to its beat. Sweaty hands, both from men and women start touching him but he is too drunk to care and push them away. Jongin turns his head to the side and he inhales sharply when he sees someone whose appearance seems to be too inhuman.
The man with pale skin, hooded eyes and graceful long limbs dances with lazy but graceful moves under the blinking lights in the middle of the pulsating throng. The colourful lights in the dark room bring a dreamlike look to the man’s already perfect features, making him more attractive. Jongin takes in the clothes that the man is wearing and raises his brows because of the eye catching silver top and tight pants.
Their eyes meet for a second and Jongin is entranced as he looks at the man’s pair of dark piercing eyes. He blinks and starts untangling himself from the drunken crowd to go near him, but when he looks up to find him again, the man is already gone. Jongin silently curses as he scans the people in the club, but he can’t find him anywhere.
He starts moving forward but his foot gets caught by something and he trips, hands automatically going forward to prevent his fall. Jongin closes his eyes and holds his breath, bracing himself for the pain that will come with this accident.
Jongin waits but he feels nothing and when he opens his eyes again, Jongin is back in his room, resting on top of his bed and his alarm clock blaring on his bedside table. He grabs the device and looks at it with wide eyes. It is six o'clock in the morning, June 29, 2013.
“What the fuck?” He hisses.
He turns off the device and stands up from his bed, fully awake but confused. Jongin figures what he had was probably a dream and arrives to the office with a jumbled mind. He is five minutes late and he almost forgot to buy Chanyeol’s coffee. He silently walks into his friend’s office and finds him fixing the stacks of papers on his desk. Chanyeol looks up at him with a glare.
“Where the fuck were you?”
Jongin swallows the lump in his throat as he stiffly approaches Chanyeol’s desk. He places the cup of coffee down on the table with shaky hands.
“Sorry.” Jongin mutters.
“You’re supposed to come here earlier so that you can help me prepare for the stupid board meeting.” Chanyeol whines.
“We already finished the preparations yesterday. You’re just-” Jongin takes a deep breath and slightly shakes his head to clear his thoughts. “Just panicking.”
Chanyeol looks up at him, worried. “Man, are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Jongin smiles, hoping it won’t look too forced. “Just had some trouble sleeping last night.”
“Oh, well I need you to make copies of these,” Chanyeol hands him a couple of documents. Jongin accepts them without looking. “We still have Baekhyun’s opening night later. You still up for it?”
“I am.” Jongin nods quickly. He raises the papers in his hand and waves it. “I’ll get these done.”
Jongin steps back from Chanyeol’s desk, and start to quietly walk out of his friend’s office. When he reaches the photocopier, he braces both of his hands on top of it and starts taking deep breaths.
“Don’t be stupid.” He whispers to himself. “It was probably just a dream.”
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Jongin stares at the bottle of beer in front of him as if it can answer all the questions in his head. Everything that happened in his dream is happening again today and Jongin will be lying if he says he isn’t baffled by it. A hand touches his back and he snaps.
“I’m not in the mood!”
The girl behind him retracts her hand, whispering a ‘fucking rude’, before walking away from the bar. Jongin looks to his side and finds his friends, unsurprisingly, making out. He eyes the cherry on Baekhyun’s drink, silently cursing before he picks it up and flings it in the direction of Chanyeol’s head.
Chanyeol pulls back from Baekhyun and turns to Jongin with a scowl. Jongin groans because it happened just like in his dream. The taller man raises an eyebrow when Jongin faceplants himself on the bar counter.
“Uhhh,” Chanyeol starts. “Jongin?”
Baekhyun pokes Jongin’s head before he turns to Chanyeol. “Do something about this.”
Chanyeol stares at his boyfriend with wide eyes as Baekhyun downs his drink, before leaving him with Jongin. “Fuck my life.” He mutters under his breath.
Jongin finally decides to stop acquainting himself to the bar counter and straightens his back. He turns to Chanyeol with solemn eyes. “I am having this really weird de ja vu.”
“You’re just drunk.” Chanyeol scoffs as he takes a sip from his bottle.
“No man, I’m just-” Jongin stops mid-sentence when he remembers a part of his dream that isn’t happening yet. He looks at the crowd on the dance floor before getting off his seat. “I’ll be back.”
“Where are you going?” Chanyeol asks but Jongin ignores him.
His steps quicken as he nears the swarm of bodies dancing together. Jongin pushes himself to the center and immediately searches for the pair of piercing eyes that entranced him in his dreams. He thinks that if everything’s really repeating itself, then the man must be here too. Jongin cranes his neck as he scans the crowd and just when he’s just about to give up, his eyes catches a tall man dancing only a few feet away from him.
The man is clad in the same silver sleeveless top and black pants, his lean body bouncing to the beat and pale, sweaty skin glimmering as the light touches it. Jongin walks up to him slowly, wary of how to approach the man because they are strangers. He doesn’t understand the importance of seeing him tonight but his body is already moving on its own, one hand outstretched to touch the man’s shoulder.
`The man suddenly stops dancing and whips his head to the left as if he is looking for someone. He then bolts into a run towards the opposite direction and Jongin is startled when he sees two men running after him. Jongin follows them as they run to the back door and out of the club, but he loses them as soon as he steps out to the cold night. He runs a hand through his hair and heaves a frustrated sigh.
He turns on his heel as he decides to go back inside the club, but as soon as he reaches for the door a hand stops him and someone presses something hard in between his shoulder blades. Jongin holds his breath as he hears the distinct sound of someone pulling the hammer of a gun. Panic flows through his veins as he registers the thought that there is someone pointing a loaded gun at him.
“Who are you?” A voice behind him says. It’s a voice of a man, deep and brooding. Jongin shivers as the warm breath of the man touches the back of his neck. There is a light breeze and Jongin catches the light scent of mint shampoo in the air. “What are you doing out here?”
“I was just looking for a friend.” Jongin croaks. “I swear.”
The person behind Jongin is quiet for a while, but then the barrel of the gun moves up to Jongin’s temple and he freezes.
“I don’t believe you.”
Jongin forces his body to move but he feels numb. He hears the trigger being pulled and he closes his eyes. Jongin feels the blinding pain of the bullet as it hits his flesh, and then it is over as soon as it began.
Everything is quiet.
Not a single sound is heard.
But then the clock starts ticking again until a shrilling sound blares in the air.
Jongin opens his eyes wide and sucks in a deep breath. His white ceiling greets him. The bed sheets a tangled pile at his feet, and his alarm clock ringing on his bed side table. Sweat is forming on his skin and his heart is pounding rapidly inside his chest.
Jongin blinks as he takes in his surroundings, he turns his head to the side and sees his alarm clock, eyes widening as he sees the date and time.
The device says ‘6:00 am’ and under it, the date shows June 29, 2013.
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Jongin can’t believe the things that are happening to him. It’s been an hour since he turned off his alarm clock but he’s still lying on top of his bed with one arm covering his eyes. He knows Chanyeol will probably kill him for not going to work, but right now Jongin doesn’t care. He feels like someone is stabbing his brain with small needles and he groans as he remembers his dream. That had felt scarily real.
Or was it really only a dream?
“Don’t be ridiculous.” He says to himself.
Jongin lifts his arm from his eyes and his hand starts rubbing circles on his temple to ease the pain. He opens his eyes and stares blankly at his white ceiling. He hears the bustling sound of the city outside his window, and they seem to be calling for him. Jongin sits up from his bed and sighs.
“I should wash up.” He murmurs.
He takes a quick shower, changes into sweatpants and a black tank top. He pads towards the kitchen and opens one of the cupboards, pulling out the half empty box of cereal. He realizes he doesn’t have milk anymore and sighs as he sits down on the counter.
“Whatever.”
Jongin dips a hand inside the cereal box and grabs a handful before dumping all of it inside his mouth, some of which falls to the ground. His mind goes back to the dream he had again and he wonders since when he had such a vivid imagination. He thinks about cutting back on the amount of movies he’s been watching, it costs too much anyway.
He quickly finishes his breakfast, placing the empty box inside the trash bin. He goes to his hallway, picking up his keys and wallet before putting on his shoes. Jongin decides to walk to the park, deciding that breathing fresh air will be nice and it might help in clearing his thoughts.
The walk didn’t take long and he arrives at the park soon after. The place is empty, save from the few small birds perched on the branches of the trees. He finds an empty bench placed under the shade of one of the trees and deems it perfect to be a place to relax. Jongin flops down on the bench with a relieved sigh and stretches his long legs in front of him.
Jongin thinks about his dream and how it seems to be that he is experiencing the days over and over. It’s frightening how vivid the scenes in his dreams are. He feels his headache starting again and Jongin closes his eyes for a while, his right hand automatically rubbing small circles on his temple.
It hasn’t been five minutes when Jongin hears a sound of a hiccup. At first, Jongin thinks it’s just his imagination, but then the sound repeats itself. He opens his eyes and looks around the park, a frown forming on his face when he sees no one else aside from him in the area. He hears another hiccup and quickly turns his body around, realizing that it was coming from behind him, or specifically behind the tree.
Jongin stands up from the bench and quietly walks around the tree to take a peek. He sees someone sitting under the shade, a man who has his face buried on top of his folded knees. Long arms wrapped around himself as if he’s afraid of something. The man’s shoulders shake with every sob that comes out of him and Jongin thinks about approaching him. The morning air is cool, the breeze making the blonde strands of the man’s hair sway and Jongin is worried that the man’s thin clothes will not be enough to protect him from the cold.
Now, Jongin isn’t the type of person who likes comforting people or is willing to help strangers. He still remembers wiping Chanyeol’s snot and forcing him to take a shower when the taller guy decided to become a hermit when Baekhyun and he had a fight. It was a nasty experience and Jongin doesn’t want a repeat of that.
But this, here is something different. Jongin feels a strange pull that forces him to go closer to the man under the tree. So, he takes a step forward.
The blonde man flinches with the sound of his footstep and Jongin stops.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you,” Jongin trails off.
The man slowly lifts his head before turning his gaze towards Jongin. His expression is unreadable, but the redness of his eyes cannot be unseen. Jongin opens his mouth to speak again but stops when the blonde stands up abruptly. His face is strikingly familiar but Jongin doesn’t remember where he’s seen it before. Jongin quietly watches as the man starts dusting his pants.
“Are you alright?” Jongin asks.
The man doesn’t answer and starts walking towards the other side of the park, leaving Jongin standing under the shade of the tree. Confused and alone.
Jongin watches the man walk farther and farther away from him and he itches to go after him. He takes a look at his watch, which says it’s only quarter before nine. Still too early to go back, Jongin looks up to the sky.
“What should I do?” Jongin whines. He looks again to the retreating back of the man who is slowly reaching the side of the road and with a defeated sigh, he follows.
Jongin follows him through every turn until he isn’t sure where they are anymore. He still keeps the distance between them so that the man will not know that Jongin is following him. The street where they are now is smelly and dirty, full of graffiti filled walls and shady looking people loitering around. The blonde stops at a corner and Jongin watches him from a few feet away.
He sees him talking with another man with a sleazy smile on his face. The man he’s been following lifts up a roll of bills with his hand and the guy he is talking to gives him a small packet. Jongin doesn’t see what the packet contains but he’s got a feeling that it is not something good. The two men shake hands before the other guy disappears into a dingy alley, leaving the blonde man alone.
This is when Jongin turns around and decides to leave. He’s seen enough and doesn’t want to involve himself in a situation like this. He steps away from the street, ignoring the curious pull in his chest.
Later that night as Jongin eats his dinner in his living room with the program on his T.V playing in the background, his cell phone suddenly rings and announces an incoming call from Chanyeol. He picks up the call and waits for the other line to speak.
“I hate you.” Jongin hears Chanyeol’s static voice through the phone and he snickers.
“I know. I’m sorry for not coming to work but I wasn’t really feeling well.” Jongin says.
“Fine. At least I have one less person to be worried about.” Chanyel sighs, his words making Jongin’s eyebrows raise.
“What do you mean?” Jongin asks.
“Ughh, there was a raid on the street near Baekhyun’s club.” Chanyeol starts. “Apparently druggies frequent that area and some of them tried hiding in the club and everyone just went batshit, man. I think Baekhyun’s traumatized.”
“Stop exaggerating the story Chanyeol.” Jongin says before taking a sip of his coke. “I’m sure your boyfriend’s fine.”
“No, see you don’t understand it Jongin.” Chanyeol’s tone turns grave. “Someone was found dead nearby. They’re showing it on the news right now, go check your T.V. I have to get back to Baekhyun, see you tomorrow.”
“Oh. I- ... O-okay. Bye.” Jongin stammers before ending the call, he picks up the remote control and changes the channel to the news.
“Six people arrested and one found dead due to drug overdose during a raid in downtown Seoul. The raid followed a two-month investigation-”
Jongin drowns out the voice of the news anchor as he stare with wide eyes at the photo of the dead man, the name ‘Oh Sehun’ printed under it in bold letters. Blonde hair, pale skin, and a very striking dark pair of eyes stare back at him through the screen. He recognizes him as the man he saw just this morning.
An uncomfortable feeling forms in his chest and Jongin closes his eyes as a sudden flash of images floods his mind. Memories of being in the middle of a crowd, the blaring music, piercing eyes, a minty scent, the loud sound of a gunshot and lastly, the blinding pain.
The influx of memories stops and Jongin breathes deeply as he tries to calm his erratic heartbeat, his eyes still not open. He turns his body so that he is resting on his back, surprised to feel that his couch still has enough space for him to straighten his leg.
Now that he thinks about it, he doesn’t remember lying down on the couch. Confused, Jongin opens his eyes, jaw dropping in bewilderment because of what he sees.
He catches sight of his pale, white ceiling, or to be exact, the pale white ceiling of his bedroom. His mind blanks out for a moment, refusing to believe what is happening.
Jongin is still processing this information when the loud sound of his alarm clock wails without a warning. His hand lifts up from the bed and covers his face, groaning as he feels a foreboding feeling.
“No, no, no, no, no.” Jongin grumbles. “This can’t be happening.”
Jongin repeats it like a mantra as his alarm clock continues ringing. He clutches the strands of his hair and sits up abruptly, head whipping to the side where his bedside table is placed. His eyes glance towards the alarm clock, and read the time and date on its screen, confirming that yes, unbelievable as it may be, the day has repeated itself.
The clock is still ringing and Jongin feels like his brain is splitting in two. He digs his fingers deeper in his scalp as he takes in deep breaths. He thinks about calling Chanyeol for help, but reclines this thought quickly. Chanyeol will not help, he will throw me inside a mental hospital instead, he thinks. Jongin stares at his clock and on a spur of moment, throws it on the other side of the room.
“There.” Jongin exhales in the now quiet room. “Now I can think.”
He thinks about all the things that are connected in each repeated day, pulling out a pen and notebook from his drawer, he starts writing a list down. Jongin writes ‘alarm clock’ at the top of the list, he notices how each day starts with him waking up exactly when his alarm clock rings. Then he writes ‘Baekhyun’s club’ as second. And then he remembers something that could become a very vital information. He thinks about it and realizes that it’s a common occurrence in all the repeated days.
Jongin always sees the blonde man.
He always meets Oh Sehun.
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part ii
Rating: PG
Summary: In which Jongin is caught in an endless cycle of trying to save someone.
A/N: This story was posted last year on my old journal. I decided to post it here because I like this one and it's also the longest onshot I've written hahaha, something which i doubt will happen soon.
To Catch A Mirage
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Jongin wakes up to the shrilling sound of the alarm clock on his bedside table. He groans and covers his head with a pillow as his other hand reaches blindly for the satanic device. He slaps a hand over the clock and the device bounces off the table down to the floor with a loud crash. Jongin finally gives up his attempt to go back to sleep and sits up from his bed, his eyes still half closed and hair looking like a birds nest. He stumbles to the bathroom and proceeds to undress himself before stepping under the shower, shivering a bit when the water touches his skin.
He finally comes out of his room fully awake and dressed for another day on his job as a secretary. Jongin picks up his wallet and keys from the counter before heading out of the apartment. The drive takes twenty minutes and Jongin arrives to the office with a fresh cup of coffee for his boss who is currently buried under a stack of papers on his table.
“Good morning,” Jongin says as he enters.
“Where the fuck were you?” Chanyeol glares at Jongin while the latter puts down the cup of coffee on the table. “You’re supposed to come here earlier so that you can help me prepare for the stupid board meeting.”
“We’ve already finished the needed preparations yesterday. You’re just panicking.” Jongin rolls his eyes before saying. “Again.”
“I still need you to make copies of these though,” Chanyeol hands him a bunch of documents. “Also, today is the twenty ninth, meaning it’s the opening of Baekhyun’s club, so we have to be there tonight.”
Jongin nods absentmindedly as he scans the documents in his hands. He walks out of Chanyeol’s office in silence and thinks about the coming night.
_____________________________________________________
The opening of Baekhyun’s club is a success. There is loud music, drinks are pouring and dozens of people are crowding the dance floor. Jongin looks up, mesmerized by the flickering lights but scrunches his nose as he feels another girl run her hand up and down his back.
“Hey baby, wanna dance?” The girl breathes and warm air hits Jongin’s skin.
He smells the distinct smell of alcohol in her breath and Jongin gently pries her hands away. The girl moves her face closer to Jongin and he quickly evades the drunken girl’s advances.
“Not tonight, honey.” Jongin grins. “Try next time.”
The girl pouts and mumbles a slurred ‘your loss’ before pulling back and making her way towards the dance floor. He leans his back on the counter and sees Baekhyun and Chanyeol from the corner of his eyes, already making out. Jongin picks a cherry from Baekhyun’s cocktail and flicks it at the direction of the couple. It hits Chanyeol’s cheek, and the taller man pulls back from his boyfriend’s lips to scowl at Jongin, who only grins at them.
“I hate you.” Chanyeol says. Baekhyun downs the rest of his drink before going back behind the counter to serve alcohol to his customers. Chanyeol follows him with his eyes, a frown slowly forming on his mouth. “He’s too busy these days. I rarely get alone time with him.” he murmurs to Jongin.
“His business is just starting. Once things slow down, you guys can have sex all the time again.” Jongin almost spills his drink when Chanyeol whacks the back of his head. He looks up at the man and laughs out loud when he sees his friend blushing.
“Shut up.” Chanyeol whines. “I think you’re already drunk.”
Jongin shakes his head, a lazy grin on his mouth. “Tipsy maybe, but I’m definitely not drunk.”
Chanyeol smirks at him. He raises his bottle in front of Jongin. “Let’s change that, then.”
They clink their bottles together and Chanyeol shouts for Baekhyun to get them more drinks. Baekhyun happily provides them alcohol and after a few more bottles, Jongin already feels a little bit fuzzy. Chanyeol suddenly disappears without him noticing and Jongin has a faint idea of where his tall friend might be, especially since Baekhyun is also nowhere in sight at the moment. He decides it is time to have fun and jumps off of his chair.
Jongin almost trips as he makes his way to the center of the dance floor. He drowns himself to the deafening music coming out of the speakers and mindlessly sways his body to its beat. Sweaty hands, both from men and women start touching him but he is too drunk to care and push them away. Jongin turns his head to the side and he inhales sharply when he sees someone whose appearance seems to be too inhuman.
The man with pale skin, hooded eyes and graceful long limbs dances with lazy but graceful moves under the blinking lights in the middle of the pulsating throng. The colourful lights in the dark room bring a dreamlike look to the man’s already perfect features, making him more attractive. Jongin takes in the clothes that the man is wearing and raises his brows because of the eye catching silver top and tight pants.
Their eyes meet for a second and Jongin is entranced as he looks at the man’s pair of dark piercing eyes. He blinks and starts untangling himself from the drunken crowd to go near him, but when he looks up to find him again, the man is already gone. Jongin silently curses as he scans the people in the club, but he can’t find him anywhere.
He starts moving forward but his foot gets caught by something and he trips, hands automatically going forward to prevent his fall. Jongin closes his eyes and holds his breath, bracing himself for the pain that will come with this accident.
Jongin waits but he feels nothing and when he opens his eyes again, Jongin is back in his room, resting on top of his bed and his alarm clock blaring on his bedside table. He grabs the device and looks at it with wide eyes. It is six o'clock in the morning, June 29, 2013.
“What the fuck?” He hisses.
He turns off the device and stands up from his bed, fully awake but confused. Jongin figures what he had was probably a dream and arrives to the office with a jumbled mind. He is five minutes late and he almost forgot to buy Chanyeol’s coffee. He silently walks into his friend’s office and finds him fixing the stacks of papers on his desk. Chanyeol looks up at him with a glare.
“Where the fuck were you?”
Jongin swallows the lump in his throat as he stiffly approaches Chanyeol’s desk. He places the cup of coffee down on the table with shaky hands.
“Sorry.” Jongin mutters.
“You’re supposed to come here earlier so that you can help me prepare for the stupid board meeting.” Chanyeol whines.
“We already finished the preparations yesterday. You’re just-” Jongin takes a deep breath and slightly shakes his head to clear his thoughts. “Just panicking.”
Chanyeol looks up at him, worried. “Man, are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Jongin smiles, hoping it won’t look too forced. “Just had some trouble sleeping last night.”
“Oh, well I need you to make copies of these,” Chanyeol hands him a couple of documents. Jongin accepts them without looking. “We still have Baekhyun’s opening night later. You still up for it?”
“I am.” Jongin nods quickly. He raises the papers in his hand and waves it. “I’ll get these done.”
Jongin steps back from Chanyeol’s desk, and start to quietly walk out of his friend’s office. When he reaches the photocopier, he braces both of his hands on top of it and starts taking deep breaths.
“Don’t be stupid.” He whispers to himself. “It was probably just a dream.”
_____________________________________________________
Jongin stares at the bottle of beer in front of him as if it can answer all the questions in his head. Everything that happened in his dream is happening again today and Jongin will be lying if he says he isn’t baffled by it. A hand touches his back and he snaps.
“I’m not in the mood!”
The girl behind him retracts her hand, whispering a ‘fucking rude’, before walking away from the bar. Jongin looks to his side and finds his friends, unsurprisingly, making out. He eyes the cherry on Baekhyun’s drink, silently cursing before he picks it up and flings it in the direction of Chanyeol’s head.
Chanyeol pulls back from Baekhyun and turns to Jongin with a scowl. Jongin groans because it happened just like in his dream. The taller man raises an eyebrow when Jongin faceplants himself on the bar counter.
“Uhhh,” Chanyeol starts. “Jongin?”
Baekhyun pokes Jongin’s head before he turns to Chanyeol. “Do something about this.”
Chanyeol stares at his boyfriend with wide eyes as Baekhyun downs his drink, before leaving him with Jongin. “Fuck my life.” He mutters under his breath.
Jongin finally decides to stop acquainting himself to the bar counter and straightens his back. He turns to Chanyeol with solemn eyes. “I am having this really weird de ja vu.”
“You’re just drunk.” Chanyeol scoffs as he takes a sip from his bottle.
“No man, I’m just-” Jongin stops mid-sentence when he remembers a part of his dream that isn’t happening yet. He looks at the crowd on the dance floor before getting off his seat. “I’ll be back.”
“Where are you going?” Chanyeol asks but Jongin ignores him.
His steps quicken as he nears the swarm of bodies dancing together. Jongin pushes himself to the center and immediately searches for the pair of piercing eyes that entranced him in his dreams. He thinks that if everything’s really repeating itself, then the man must be here too. Jongin cranes his neck as he scans the crowd and just when he’s just about to give up, his eyes catches a tall man dancing only a few feet away from him.
The man is clad in the same silver sleeveless top and black pants, his lean body bouncing to the beat and pale, sweaty skin glimmering as the light touches it. Jongin walks up to him slowly, wary of how to approach the man because they are strangers. He doesn’t understand the importance of seeing him tonight but his body is already moving on its own, one hand outstretched to touch the man’s shoulder.
`The man suddenly stops dancing and whips his head to the left as if he is looking for someone. He then bolts into a run towards the opposite direction and Jongin is startled when he sees two men running after him. Jongin follows them as they run to the back door and out of the club, but he loses them as soon as he steps out to the cold night. He runs a hand through his hair and heaves a frustrated sigh.
He turns on his heel as he decides to go back inside the club, but as soon as he reaches for the door a hand stops him and someone presses something hard in between his shoulder blades. Jongin holds his breath as he hears the distinct sound of someone pulling the hammer of a gun. Panic flows through his veins as he registers the thought that there is someone pointing a loaded gun at him.
“Who are you?” A voice behind him says. It’s a voice of a man, deep and brooding. Jongin shivers as the warm breath of the man touches the back of his neck. There is a light breeze and Jongin catches the light scent of mint shampoo in the air. “What are you doing out here?”
“I was just looking for a friend.” Jongin croaks. “I swear.”
The person behind Jongin is quiet for a while, but then the barrel of the gun moves up to Jongin’s temple and he freezes.
“I don’t believe you.”
Jongin forces his body to move but he feels numb. He hears the trigger being pulled and he closes his eyes. Jongin feels the blinding pain of the bullet as it hits his flesh, and then it is over as soon as it began.
Everything is quiet.
Not a single sound is heard.
But then the clock starts ticking again until a shrilling sound blares in the air.
Jongin opens his eyes wide and sucks in a deep breath. His white ceiling greets him. The bed sheets a tangled pile at his feet, and his alarm clock ringing on his bed side table. Sweat is forming on his skin and his heart is pounding rapidly inside his chest.
Jongin blinks as he takes in his surroundings, he turns his head to the side and sees his alarm clock, eyes widening as he sees the date and time.
The device says ‘6:00 am’ and under it, the date shows June 29, 2013.
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Jongin can’t believe the things that are happening to him. It’s been an hour since he turned off his alarm clock but he’s still lying on top of his bed with one arm covering his eyes. He knows Chanyeol will probably kill him for not going to work, but right now Jongin doesn’t care. He feels like someone is stabbing his brain with small needles and he groans as he remembers his dream. That had felt scarily real.
Or was it really only a dream?
“Don’t be ridiculous.” He says to himself.
Jongin lifts his arm from his eyes and his hand starts rubbing circles on his temple to ease the pain. He opens his eyes and stares blankly at his white ceiling. He hears the bustling sound of the city outside his window, and they seem to be calling for him. Jongin sits up from his bed and sighs.
“I should wash up.” He murmurs.
He takes a quick shower, changes into sweatpants and a black tank top. He pads towards the kitchen and opens one of the cupboards, pulling out the half empty box of cereal. He realizes he doesn’t have milk anymore and sighs as he sits down on the counter.
“Whatever.”
Jongin dips a hand inside the cereal box and grabs a handful before dumping all of it inside his mouth, some of which falls to the ground. His mind goes back to the dream he had again and he wonders since when he had such a vivid imagination. He thinks about cutting back on the amount of movies he’s been watching, it costs too much anyway.
He quickly finishes his breakfast, placing the empty box inside the trash bin. He goes to his hallway, picking up his keys and wallet before putting on his shoes. Jongin decides to walk to the park, deciding that breathing fresh air will be nice and it might help in clearing his thoughts.
The walk didn’t take long and he arrives at the park soon after. The place is empty, save from the few small birds perched on the branches of the trees. He finds an empty bench placed under the shade of one of the trees and deems it perfect to be a place to relax. Jongin flops down on the bench with a relieved sigh and stretches his long legs in front of him.
Jongin thinks about his dream and how it seems to be that he is experiencing the days over and over. It’s frightening how vivid the scenes in his dreams are. He feels his headache starting again and Jongin closes his eyes for a while, his right hand automatically rubbing small circles on his temple.
It hasn’t been five minutes when Jongin hears a sound of a hiccup. At first, Jongin thinks it’s just his imagination, but then the sound repeats itself. He opens his eyes and looks around the park, a frown forming on his face when he sees no one else aside from him in the area. He hears another hiccup and quickly turns his body around, realizing that it was coming from behind him, or specifically behind the tree.
Jongin stands up from the bench and quietly walks around the tree to take a peek. He sees someone sitting under the shade, a man who has his face buried on top of his folded knees. Long arms wrapped around himself as if he’s afraid of something. The man’s shoulders shake with every sob that comes out of him and Jongin thinks about approaching him. The morning air is cool, the breeze making the blonde strands of the man’s hair sway and Jongin is worried that the man’s thin clothes will not be enough to protect him from the cold.
Now, Jongin isn’t the type of person who likes comforting people or is willing to help strangers. He still remembers wiping Chanyeol’s snot and forcing him to take a shower when the taller guy decided to become a hermit when Baekhyun and he had a fight. It was a nasty experience and Jongin doesn’t want a repeat of that.
But this, here is something different. Jongin feels a strange pull that forces him to go closer to the man under the tree. So, he takes a step forward.
The blonde man flinches with the sound of his footstep and Jongin stops.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you,” Jongin trails off.
The man slowly lifts his head before turning his gaze towards Jongin. His expression is unreadable, but the redness of his eyes cannot be unseen. Jongin opens his mouth to speak again but stops when the blonde stands up abruptly. His face is strikingly familiar but Jongin doesn’t remember where he’s seen it before. Jongin quietly watches as the man starts dusting his pants.
“Are you alright?” Jongin asks.
The man doesn’t answer and starts walking towards the other side of the park, leaving Jongin standing under the shade of the tree. Confused and alone.
Jongin watches the man walk farther and farther away from him and he itches to go after him. He takes a look at his watch, which says it’s only quarter before nine. Still too early to go back, Jongin looks up to the sky.
“What should I do?” Jongin whines. He looks again to the retreating back of the man who is slowly reaching the side of the road and with a defeated sigh, he follows.
Jongin follows him through every turn until he isn’t sure where they are anymore. He still keeps the distance between them so that the man will not know that Jongin is following him. The street where they are now is smelly and dirty, full of graffiti filled walls and shady looking people loitering around. The blonde stops at a corner and Jongin watches him from a few feet away.
He sees him talking with another man with a sleazy smile on his face. The man he’s been following lifts up a roll of bills with his hand and the guy he is talking to gives him a small packet. Jongin doesn’t see what the packet contains but he’s got a feeling that it is not something good. The two men shake hands before the other guy disappears into a dingy alley, leaving the blonde man alone.
This is when Jongin turns around and decides to leave. He’s seen enough and doesn’t want to involve himself in a situation like this. He steps away from the street, ignoring the curious pull in his chest.
Later that night as Jongin eats his dinner in his living room with the program on his T.V playing in the background, his cell phone suddenly rings and announces an incoming call from Chanyeol. He picks up the call and waits for the other line to speak.
“I hate you.” Jongin hears Chanyeol’s static voice through the phone and he snickers.
“I know. I’m sorry for not coming to work but I wasn’t really feeling well.” Jongin says.
“Fine. At least I have one less person to be worried about.” Chanyel sighs, his words making Jongin’s eyebrows raise.
“What do you mean?” Jongin asks.
“Ughh, there was a raid on the street near Baekhyun’s club.” Chanyeol starts. “Apparently druggies frequent that area and some of them tried hiding in the club and everyone just went batshit, man. I think Baekhyun’s traumatized.”
“Stop exaggerating the story Chanyeol.” Jongin says before taking a sip of his coke. “I’m sure your boyfriend’s fine.”
“No, see you don’t understand it Jongin.” Chanyeol’s tone turns grave. “Someone was found dead nearby. They’re showing it on the news right now, go check your T.V. I have to get back to Baekhyun, see you tomorrow.”
“Oh. I- ... O-okay. Bye.” Jongin stammers before ending the call, he picks up the remote control and changes the channel to the news.
“Six people arrested and one found dead due to drug overdose during a raid in downtown Seoul. The raid followed a two-month investigation-”
Jongin drowns out the voice of the news anchor as he stare with wide eyes at the photo of the dead man, the name ‘Oh Sehun’ printed under it in bold letters. Blonde hair, pale skin, and a very striking dark pair of eyes stare back at him through the screen. He recognizes him as the man he saw just this morning.
An uncomfortable feeling forms in his chest and Jongin closes his eyes as a sudden flash of images floods his mind. Memories of being in the middle of a crowd, the blaring music, piercing eyes, a minty scent, the loud sound of a gunshot and lastly, the blinding pain.
The influx of memories stops and Jongin breathes deeply as he tries to calm his erratic heartbeat, his eyes still not open. He turns his body so that he is resting on his back, surprised to feel that his couch still has enough space for him to straighten his leg.
Now that he thinks about it, he doesn’t remember lying down on the couch. Confused, Jongin opens his eyes, jaw dropping in bewilderment because of what he sees.
He catches sight of his pale, white ceiling, or to be exact, the pale white ceiling of his bedroom. His mind blanks out for a moment, refusing to believe what is happening.
Jongin is still processing this information when the loud sound of his alarm clock wails without a warning. His hand lifts up from the bed and covers his face, groaning as he feels a foreboding feeling.
“No, no, no, no, no.” Jongin grumbles. “This can’t be happening.”
Jongin repeats it like a mantra as his alarm clock continues ringing. He clutches the strands of his hair and sits up abruptly, head whipping to the side where his bedside table is placed. His eyes glance towards the alarm clock, and read the time and date on its screen, confirming that yes, unbelievable as it may be, the day has repeated itself.
The clock is still ringing and Jongin feels like his brain is splitting in two. He digs his fingers deeper in his scalp as he takes in deep breaths. He thinks about calling Chanyeol for help, but reclines this thought quickly. Chanyeol will not help, he will throw me inside a mental hospital instead, he thinks. Jongin stares at his clock and on a spur of moment, throws it on the other side of the room.
“There.” Jongin exhales in the now quiet room. “Now I can think.”
He thinks about all the things that are connected in each repeated day, pulling out a pen and notebook from his drawer, he starts writing a list down. Jongin writes ‘alarm clock’ at the top of the list, he notices how each day starts with him waking up exactly when his alarm clock rings. Then he writes ‘Baekhyun’s club’ as second. And then he remembers something that could become a very vital information. He thinks about it and realizes that it’s a common occurrence in all the repeated days.
Jongin always sees the blonde man.
He always meets Oh Sehun.
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part ii