Beautiful weekend
This weekend was long and luxurious and filled with happiness and peace. So much occurred this weekend that its hard to write about. I have had to process so many things, so many different ideas, values, beliefs, relationship dynamics, ect. My mind has been going almost non stop. It's time to put it down. Get the static out of my brain.
The holidays often bring with them anxiety for me. Drama, conflict, personality issues, relationship dynamics, ect. So MANY things to deal with. I am proud to say, I think all went well. The holiday came and went with good conversation, good eating and so many laughs. Friends came to stay with us and spend the holiday with us and it was good to have them there. Our small little tribe as we have started calling it. It has become a safe haven for me. I relish the time spent with them.
After the dust settled and quiet returned, P.B and I spent to wonderful days together. Not doing much, just loving and reconnecting. It meant so much to both of us and returned our relationship up a notch. We have gone to a new level. One that was much needed and slow in coming. Lots of loving and dreaming going on. Filled the house with good healthy energy.
Then came the systers. Oh what a wonderful way to spend the last day of a beautiful weekend. More people who I love. The energy is amazing when we all get together. More beautiful relationships. The love and trust and comfort of a safe and sacred place. Beautiful.
I was asked this weekend how I could think of myself as being prudish. The question came from a conversation about being poly and bisexual and how open I am about being both. My first response was humor and well although I am comfortable and identify with both of those definitions, I am often not openly sexual or identify myself as sexual. And then the more I thought about this question and the message it brought with it. I was hit by the "cosmic two by four", I am a sexual being. I am a happy, healthy, competent sexual being. Holy Fuck! Really! Wow! When did that happen?
Well, I always have been. Just got lost for a while. Lost in an unbalanced life. Lost in the should haves, the could haves, the must do's. The duty. Yes I said duty. Hence, why I was feeling prudish. LOL. I was stuck in this very weird unbalanced victorian mindset in this goddess, heathen body.
As I look at my pentagram that I have placed around my neck I am stuck in yet another battle. Is it a pentagram I seek or something else? I seek the goddess in her many forms, I seek my majick, I am attracted to the heathens, the people of land, to the gods and goddesses. Is the pentagram my mark or is it the tree?
What is my relationship to the gods? What is this dynamic I seek with them?
The holidays often bring with them anxiety for me. Drama, conflict, personality issues, relationship dynamics, ect. So MANY things to deal with. I am proud to say, I think all went well. The holiday came and went with good conversation, good eating and so many laughs. Friends came to stay with us and spend the holiday with us and it was good to have them there. Our small little tribe as we have started calling it. It has become a safe haven for me. I relish the time spent with them.
After the dust settled and quiet returned, P.B and I spent to wonderful days together. Not doing much, just loving and reconnecting. It meant so much to both of us and returned our relationship up a notch. We have gone to a new level. One that was much needed and slow in coming. Lots of loving and dreaming going on. Filled the house with good healthy energy.
Then came the systers. Oh what a wonderful way to spend the last day of a beautiful weekend. More people who I love. The energy is amazing when we all get together. More beautiful relationships. The love and trust and comfort of a safe and sacred place. Beautiful.
I was asked this weekend how I could think of myself as being prudish. The question came from a conversation about being poly and bisexual and how open I am about being both. My first response was humor and well although I am comfortable and identify with both of those definitions, I am often not openly sexual or identify myself as sexual. And then the more I thought about this question and the message it brought with it. I was hit by the "cosmic two by four", I am a sexual being. I am a happy, healthy, competent sexual being. Holy Fuck! Really! Wow! When did that happen?
Well, I always have been. Just got lost for a while. Lost in an unbalanced life. Lost in the should haves, the could haves, the must do's. The duty. Yes I said duty. Hence, why I was feeling prudish. LOL. I was stuck in this very weird unbalanced victorian mindset in this goddess, heathen body.
As I look at my pentagram that I have placed around my neck I am stuck in yet another battle. Is it a pentagram I seek or something else? I seek the goddess in her many forms, I seek my majick, I am attracted to the heathens, the people of land, to the gods and goddesses. Is the pentagram my mark or is it the tree?
What is my relationship to the gods? What is this dynamic I seek with them?