canon pimp
Why should you read Tanya Huff's Smoke and _________ series? Because these vampires don't sparkle. Also hot mounties. Also there's threesome sex to save the world. Also well-hung demons and cranky old wizards with cats.
GENERALLY IT IS AWESOMESAUCE.
For the most part, the books are an easy read and the dialogue is snappy. Sometimes the plot can get a bit wtf, but it's all in good fun! Plus the canon itself acknowledges fan fiction. SLASH fan fiction.
PLOT
There's this kid called Tony who used to live in Toronto with his vampire boyfriend until they moved to Vancouver in order to avoid territory conflicts with his vampire boyfriend's other ex-girlfriend who he recently turned into a vampire (long story). Only now Tony's broken up with Henry and is living on his own, starting a new life as the Productions Assistant for a syndicated vampire detective show called Darkest Night.
Which is great until a bunch of shadows from another dimension slip through a portal into the sound stage and try to take over the world by possessing people on the set, including Lee Nicholas, the hot co-star of the show who Tony has a gigantic crush on. The portal was opened by Arra Pelindrake, who was fleeing from the shadows but instead brought a whole lot of trouble to Tony's doorstep and Tony finds himself having to step in and try to save the world (with a little help).
After the shadows are dealt with Tony and the crew of Darkest Night find themselves trapped in the haunted house they were using as a set, with ghosts only Tony can see and the house (or more specifically, what's in the basement) trying to force everyone within it to commit murder/suicide. Also Tony's discovered he's a wizard, and now pretty much the entire cast and crew know this too.
The third and final book in the series has Tony being roped into dealing with a Demonic Convergence by an immortal stunt-woman who also happens to be the centuries old handmaiden of a sex demon. I cannot make this shit up. The demon is attempting to punch through Hell in order to take over Vancouver (and supposedly the world) and Tony needs to stop it. Without his friends who desperately want to help getting killed in the process. Also while dealing with his crush object playing hot and cold games. And by having sex to save the world. I CANNOT MAKE THIS UP.
CHARACTERS YOU COULD APP
Arra Pelindrake - She's a wizard from another dimension and the special affects wizard that CB got on the cheap for Darkest Night. She's also old and crabby and has two cats. She's the crazy cat lady only much cooler and she can wipe your memory with a pencil and a pad of paper. Arra was scared to death when the Shadow Lord and his shadow minions took over her world and wiped out all her friends and family and pretty much everyone she knew. She ran and wasn't planning on looking back, but Tony convinced her that sometimes you have to stop running and face your fears.
Lee Nicholas - Co-star of Darkest Night, gorgeous, and a pretty good actor for syndicate television. Lee's also got a few conflicts with his sexuality and some issues with being constantly thrust into the role of damsel in distress. He gets possessed by shadows, possessed by an evil wizard ghost living in a basement, and then held captive by a Demonlord of the sexual kind. Lee is really, really tired of being captured. Also he doesn't like hot mounties who hold onto PAs that he's not supposed to be interested in. Also he just wants to help save the world without getting captured. And he rides a motorcycle!
Mason Reed - The star of Darkest Night. As in he plays a vampire detective and insists on making everything All About Mason. Hamiest ham to ever ham it up on screen, think Shatner-esque in his delivery, has a love for bagels even though they mess with his stick-on fangs, hates it when Lee gets more publicity and fan mail. Despite being a bit of a selfish tool, Mason has his moments of awesome. Actually, every Mason moment is awesome. APP MASON.
Chester Bane - The Producer of Darkest Night, also known as CB. He's big and intimidating as fuck and keeps the budget on a tight leash. He's also divorced and has two daughters who regularly terrorize the set when he brings them to work. CB is a little mysterious. He knew about Arra being "different" when he hired her, and he seems to be in a relationship of sorts with Henry, the vampiric ex-boyfriend of Tony. At one point in the series, CB attacks a taxi in order to stop a demon. No one is surprised.
Amy - Amy is awesome. She just is. She's also the office PA for Darkest Night, and she dyes her hair to match her nails. She wears a Vampire Princess Miyu backpack. She hangs out at goth coffee shops. She is pissed at Tony being the only one who can see ghosts. She bakes him a chicken when he's in bed and starving from overuse of magic. She threatens Tony with a stapler in order to make him stop being a douche and talk to Lee. She fights a demon off with a candlestick. Amy is awesome.
Zev Sero - Music Director, Jewish (orthodox), and a scrabble champion. He also has a crush on Tony in the first book which leads to them having a brief relationship and then an enduring friendship. Zev is the most easy-going of the entire cast, mostly going with the flow, even if the flow happens to be a haunted house trying to kill him. He's good with kids and is a really sweet guy.
Constable Jack Elson - Hot mountie. Also a tiny bit obsessed with getting answers from Tony about all the weird shit that goes on around him. This RCMP member really believes in serving and protecting, even if it means standing on the front lines fighting demons. And listening to his partner go on about Lee Nicholas and his tattoo.
Leah Burrnet - Stunt woman. But also the 3500 year old handmaiden of a sex demon. Demonlord Ryne Cyratane killed her entire village and then drew runes all over her in order to open a gateway out of Hell using her body when she kills herself sue to emotional distress. Unfortunately, he messed up the runes and made her invulnerable and immortal instead. Oops. On top of the immortality, Leah gains some sexual mojo powers from her association with a sex demon. Straight guys are helpless to her charms. Tony's gay though, so tough luck, Leah. Drives fast and also crazily. Hey, when you can't die or be injured, what's the point in obeying the rules of the road?
Stephen and Cassie - brother and sister ghosts who were killed by their father after he discovered them uh...having inappropriate relations. Actually, their father killed them with an axe and then killed himself under the influence of the evil wizard ghost in the basement of their house.
Kevin Groves - a tabloid report, aka scum of the universe. However, Kevin also has a certain ability in that he knows when someone is telling the truth and when they are lying. He's also made out with both Leah and Henry, despite being scum of the earth and a bit of a wimp.
Brianna - One of CB's bratty daughters. Spoiled beyond measure. Wraps her dad around her finger. Also, potentially a wizard with a surprising amount of power and Tony's future apprentice god help us all.
GENERALLY IT IS AWESOMESAUCE.
For the most part, the books are an easy read and the dialogue is snappy. Sometimes the plot can get a bit wtf, but it's all in good fun! Plus the canon itself acknowledges fan fiction. SLASH fan fiction.
PLOT
There's this kid called Tony who used to live in Toronto with his vampire boyfriend until they moved to Vancouver in order to avoid territory conflicts with his vampire boyfriend's other ex-girlfriend who he recently turned into a vampire (long story). Only now Tony's broken up with Henry and is living on his own, starting a new life as the Productions Assistant for a syndicated vampire detective show called Darkest Night.
Which is great until a bunch of shadows from another dimension slip through a portal into the sound stage and try to take over the world by possessing people on the set, including Lee Nicholas, the hot co-star of the show who Tony has a gigantic crush on. The portal was opened by Arra Pelindrake, who was fleeing from the shadows but instead brought a whole lot of trouble to Tony's doorstep and Tony finds himself having to step in and try to save the world (with a little help).
After the shadows are dealt with Tony and the crew of Darkest Night find themselves trapped in the haunted house they were using as a set, with ghosts only Tony can see and the house (or more specifically, what's in the basement) trying to force everyone within it to commit murder/suicide. Also Tony's discovered he's a wizard, and now pretty much the entire cast and crew know this too.
The third and final book in the series has Tony being roped into dealing with a Demonic Convergence by an immortal stunt-woman who also happens to be the centuries old handmaiden of a sex demon. I cannot make this shit up. The demon is attempting to punch through Hell in order to take over Vancouver (and supposedly the world) and Tony needs to stop it. Without his friends who desperately want to help getting killed in the process. Also while dealing with his crush object playing hot and cold games. And by having sex to save the world. I CANNOT MAKE THIS UP.
CHARACTERS YOU COULD APP
Arra Pelindrake - She's a wizard from another dimension and the special affects wizard that CB got on the cheap for Darkest Night. She's also old and crabby and has two cats. She's the crazy cat lady only much cooler and she can wipe your memory with a pencil and a pad of paper. Arra was scared to death when the Shadow Lord and his shadow minions took over her world and wiped out all her friends and family and pretty much everyone she knew. She ran and wasn't planning on looking back, but Tony convinced her that sometimes you have to stop running and face your fears.
Lee Nicholas - Co-star of Darkest Night, gorgeous, and a pretty good actor for syndicate television. Lee's also got a few conflicts with his sexuality and some issues with being constantly thrust into the role of damsel in distress. He gets possessed by shadows, possessed by an evil wizard ghost living in a basement, and then held captive by a Demonlord of the sexual kind. Lee is really, really tired of being captured. Also he doesn't like hot mounties who hold onto PAs that he's not supposed to be interested in. Also he just wants to help save the world without getting captured. And he rides a motorcycle!
Mason Reed - The star of Darkest Night. As in he plays a vampire detective and insists on making everything All About Mason. Hamiest ham to ever ham it up on screen, think Shatner-esque in his delivery, has a love for bagels even though they mess with his stick-on fangs, hates it when Lee gets more publicity and fan mail. Despite being a bit of a selfish tool, Mason has his moments of awesome. Actually, every Mason moment is awesome. APP MASON.
Chester Bane - The Producer of Darkest Night, also known as CB. He's big and intimidating as fuck and keeps the budget on a tight leash. He's also divorced and has two daughters who regularly terrorize the set when he brings them to work. CB is a little mysterious. He knew about Arra being "different" when he hired her, and he seems to be in a relationship of sorts with Henry, the vampiric ex-boyfriend of Tony. At one point in the series, CB attacks a taxi in order to stop a demon. No one is surprised.
Amy - Amy is awesome. She just is. She's also the office PA for Darkest Night, and she dyes her hair to match her nails. She wears a Vampire Princess Miyu backpack. She hangs out at goth coffee shops. She is pissed at Tony being the only one who can see ghosts. She bakes him a chicken when he's in bed and starving from overuse of magic. She threatens Tony with a stapler in order to make him stop being a douche and talk to Lee. She fights a demon off with a candlestick. Amy is awesome.
Zev Sero - Music Director, Jewish (orthodox), and a scrabble champion. He also has a crush on Tony in the first book which leads to them having a brief relationship and then an enduring friendship. Zev is the most easy-going of the entire cast, mostly going with the flow, even if the flow happens to be a haunted house trying to kill him. He's good with kids and is a really sweet guy.
Constable Jack Elson - Hot mountie. Also a tiny bit obsessed with getting answers from Tony about all the weird shit that goes on around him. This RCMP member really believes in serving and protecting, even if it means standing on the front lines fighting demons. And listening to his partner go on about Lee Nicholas and his tattoo.
Leah Burrnet - Stunt woman. But also the 3500 year old handmaiden of a sex demon. Demonlord Ryne Cyratane killed her entire village and then drew runes all over her in order to open a gateway out of Hell using her body when she kills herself sue to emotional distress. Unfortunately, he messed up the runes and made her invulnerable and immortal instead. Oops. On top of the immortality, Leah gains some sexual mojo powers from her association with a sex demon. Straight guys are helpless to her charms. Tony's gay though, so tough luck, Leah. Drives fast and also crazily. Hey, when you can't die or be injured, what's the point in obeying the rules of the road?
Stephen and Cassie - brother and sister ghosts who were killed by their father after he discovered them uh...having inappropriate relations. Actually, their father killed them with an axe and then killed himself under the influence of the evil wizard ghost in the basement of their house.
Kevin Groves - a tabloid report, aka scum of the universe. However, Kevin also has a certain ability in that he knows when someone is telling the truth and when they are lying. He's also made out with both Leah and Henry, despite being scum of the earth and a bit of a wimp.
Brianna - One of CB's bratty daughters. Spoiled beyond measure. Wraps her dad around her finger. Also, potentially a wizard with a surprising amount of power and Tony's future apprentice god help us all.