(no subject)
I don't know how to be in fandom without Aggy.
She was the one who brought me into Chatzy and coaxed me into getting involved and sent me messages of support. Without her I wouldn't have done the ACBB, or any other fest. I wouldn't have met any of my fandom friends. I wouldn't have had people to talk to when I was low or give me advice when I needed it. And I probably wouldn't have moved on from Merlin by now, without all these links to sustain me.
I can't repay her for what she did for me. I also can't wrap my head around the fact that she's gone. I can't go back in Chatzy because people are talking about other things (and that's their right and some of them didn't even know her and they're doing nothing wrong) but I don't want to talk about other things. I don't everything to move on without her like she was never here.
And I don't understand why she died and I'm guilty I didn't spend more time with her. It was her birthday recently and I was planning a fic for her. But other things were going on and I kept thinking I'll get around to this soon, there's plenty of time. And now there isn't.
She was the one who brought me into Chatzy and coaxed me into getting involved and sent me messages of support. Without her I wouldn't have done the ACBB, or any other fest. I wouldn't have met any of my fandom friends. I wouldn't have had people to talk to when I was low or give me advice when I needed it. And I probably wouldn't have moved on from Merlin by now, without all these links to sustain me.
I can't repay her for what she did for me. I also can't wrap my head around the fact that she's gone. I can't go back in Chatzy because people are talking about other things (and that's their right and some of them didn't even know her and they're doing nothing wrong) but I don't want to talk about other things. I don't everything to move on without her like she was never here.
And I don't understand why she died and I'm guilty I didn't spend more time with her. It was her birthday recently and I was planning a fic for her. But other things were going on and I kept thinking I'll get around to this soon, there's plenty of time. And now there isn't.