Dear Instinct?
I couldn't sleep last night. I was tired, but awfully stressed. A negative stress. I somehow managed to fall into sleep at about 5am. And woke up soon before 8am. I had been feeling somehow stressed since the afternoon, didn't really know why, didn't give it much attention, there was no reason for me to feel exceptionnally stressed after all. That's why I didn't understand why I was unable to sleep.
Then my mother called me tonight. My father is sueing her to decrease... "the income he monthly pays us", because of the divorce and blah blah. "Us" = I and my brother, explaining why someone at the court did something wrong: I and my brother should have been sued. But whatever.
I can't deny my mother's income has increased a little ever since the divorce was "pronounced". Only a little and my mother's = it shouldn't have so much influence over a judge deciding on my "monthly income" = "what my father has to pay me" shouldn't change... normaly. I began to work at the end of last year too, but you can't really say it pays a lot (550 euros, oooh yeah that's a lot... especially when I have to pay for the entrance exams and such by myself). Still... you never know.
And... it means I will have to face my father again in June. I don't even want to imagine what my reaction could be like. I don't want to see this person again. I don't want to see the person who turned my life into a giant nightmare from when I was 7 to when I was 20 (when I left home, phew). I don't want to hear this person who yelled more often than he spoke. I don't want to... and I will probably have to. Joy and pleasure. Oooh yeah life is great.
Then my mother called me tonight. My father is sueing her to decrease... "the income he monthly pays us", because of the divorce and blah blah. "Us" = I and my brother, explaining why someone at the court did something wrong: I and my brother should have been sued. But whatever.
I can't deny my mother's income has increased a little ever since the divorce was "pronounced". Only a little and my mother's = it shouldn't have so much influence over a judge deciding on my "monthly income" = "what my father has to pay me" shouldn't change... normaly. I began to work at the end of last year too, but you can't really say it pays a lot (550 euros, oooh yeah that's a lot... especially when I have to pay for the entrance exams and such by myself). Still... you never know.
And... it means I will have to face my father again in June. I don't even want to imagine what my reaction could be like. I don't want to see this person again. I don't want to see the person who turned my life into a giant nightmare from when I was 7 to when I was 20 (when I left home, phew). I don't want to hear this person who yelled more often than he spoke. I don't want to... and I will probably have to. Joy and pleasure. Oooh yeah life is great.