Neo-Genesis-Semi-Throwback (or: Why the fuck am I starting a LiveJournal in this the year 2016?)
I'm obsessed with nostalgia for times I was never there.
Lately I've been spending a lot of my time watching Serial Experiments Lain and trolling the Wayback Machine archives for screenshots of ancient websites and LiveJournals that no longer exist. I'm hungry for something that is constantly just out of reach. I can almost feel it, but I can't grasp it, like sticking my hand into a plume of hot steam.
I think everyone kind of feels like they were "born in the wrong era" in some way, and I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I am possibly just far too odd to belong comfortably anywhere or anywhen. Lately, though I've been obsessed with the late 90s and early 2000s, specifically the tech side of things.
My family didn't own a computer till 2006, when my high school stopped allowing us to turn in hand-written assignments and my old typewriter wasn't cutting it anymore. I missed out on a lot of the internet pre-Web 2.0, and I'm extremely bitter about it.
I wish I could go back to when the internet was a new and scary place where weirdos could find other weirdos. Before microblogs and blank white and blue websites. When people could be themselves online, anonymously, and blogged openly about their lives without fear of their employer finding out about their private thoughts. Before every fast food outlet had their own "social media" page.
I feel like the internet has become too much like the real world: everything moves too fast, nothing means anything, and no one cares. I guess this LJ is my attempt to carve out a little niche for myself, and bring back a little bit of that fun and mystery of the internet that I didn't have a chance to participate in. To have a blog that I actually feel safe enough to write in, and challenge myself to write more than a few sentences at a time. I hope to be able to connect with others more, to make new friendships the way I used to before I began using Facebook like a phone directory, when online friends were more like pen pals than anything else. I crave the chance to show the Real Me(TM) by bypassing the limitations of physicality. I'm beginning to regret choosing such a female-sounding name; Polly Needles is the name of an alter-ego that's been living in my head for a while and I guess she needs some exercise. It sucks that you have to pay to change your LJ username, but maybe if I end up using this enough it might be worth the $7 or whatever it is.
I guess I'll take advantage of the LJ privacy settings and make this blog a little less structured and a little more free-form. I like the fact that I can be connected to others and still have room to breathe. Having a blogspot blog felt too much like being in a rowboat out in the middle of the ocean. I had no idea who was reading my posts, if at all. I feel like the format of LJ encourages back and forth conversation, and I really hope that I can find others who are looking for the same things as I am.
Lately I've been spending a lot of my time watching Serial Experiments Lain and trolling the Wayback Machine archives for screenshots of ancient websites and LiveJournals that no longer exist. I'm hungry for something that is constantly just out of reach. I can almost feel it, but I can't grasp it, like sticking my hand into a plume of hot steam.
I think everyone kind of feels like they were "born in the wrong era" in some way, and I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I am possibly just far too odd to belong comfortably anywhere or anywhen. Lately, though I've been obsessed with the late 90s and early 2000s, specifically the tech side of things.
My family didn't own a computer till 2006, when my high school stopped allowing us to turn in hand-written assignments and my old typewriter wasn't cutting it anymore. I missed out on a lot of the internet pre-Web 2.0, and I'm extremely bitter about it.
I wish I could go back to when the internet was a new and scary place where weirdos could find other weirdos. Before microblogs and blank white and blue websites. When people could be themselves online, anonymously, and blogged openly about their lives without fear of their employer finding out about their private thoughts. Before every fast food outlet had their own "social media" page.
I feel like the internet has become too much like the real world: everything moves too fast, nothing means anything, and no one cares. I guess this LJ is my attempt to carve out a little niche for myself, and bring back a little bit of that fun and mystery of the internet that I didn't have a chance to participate in. To have a blog that I actually feel safe enough to write in, and challenge myself to write more than a few sentences at a time. I hope to be able to connect with others more, to make new friendships the way I used to before I began using Facebook like a phone directory, when online friends were more like pen pals than anything else. I crave the chance to show the Real Me(TM) by bypassing the limitations of physicality. I'm beginning to regret choosing such a female-sounding name; Polly Needles is the name of an alter-ego that's been living in my head for a while and I guess she needs some exercise. It sucks that you have to pay to change your LJ username, but maybe if I end up using this enough it might be worth the $7 or whatever it is.
I guess I'll take advantage of the LJ privacy settings and make this blog a little less structured and a little more free-form. I like the fact that I can be connected to others and still have room to breathe. Having a blogspot blog felt too much like being in a rowboat out in the middle of the ocean. I had no idea who was reading my posts, if at all. I feel like the format of LJ encourages back and forth conversation, and I really hope that I can find others who are looking for the same things as I am.