This is also not a thing-Absentia download, Part II
So more on how this show is an absolute writing fiasco, starting more or less immediately.
Stana's character, Emily, is rescued in the first episode from a tank of water. What are the mechanics of this tank you ask? I have absolutely no idea. It's like . . . filled to within an inch of the top or so, and there's manufactured rescue drama, because it's locked! And the lock's on a timer! And imma stop you right there, Villain Person: Was your plan that she'd somehow maintain her body position perfectly so as not to drown? Because. You know. She's been tortured for six years. She's in pretty bad shape. And regular people sleep, so . . .
In any case, she is, indeed, rescued by her ex-husband who is putatively an FBI agent. Putatively, because (1) he is extremely stupid and bad at his job. (2) He is also truly, madly, deeply bad actor of the blandly, blondely, my-emotional-palette-is-constipation variety. His contributions to the entire season consist of getting shot in the chest. Twice.
Emily is in bad shape. She is wigged out and violent in the ambulance. She shows very clear signs of chronic physical abuse and is wildly disoriented. And yet she is in a single room, unattended, unrestrained, and apparently not even really sedated her first night back, because when someone sneaks into her room, she wigs out and stabs them with . . . scissors that have simply been left nearby? (As it turns out, this is HAM-HANDED FORESHADOWING.) Her FBI peeps then, by the end of episode one, take her on a take-down that they all think is related to her abduction and stand by, surprised, when she freaks out and starts whaling on someone. Hello, friends, we are apparently in a universe where no one has ever heard of PTSD. Oh, and the guy they were looking for turns out to have been murdered a couple weeks ago. And Emily's DNA is under his fingernails!
By the end of episode 2, we have New Wife, who has been twitchy about everything concerned Emily, thinking that she sees something outside her house, which is so suburban, it's practically rural. New Wife-Wife of an FBI agent, who has been positively soaking in weird, creepy events since Emily's return-walks out of the house in the dark, leaving the front door wide open, leaving her sleeping, 10-year-old stepson on the couch to investigate The Thing. Because that's exactly how a character with that history and context would behave, right? Because the FBI would take no precautions whatsoever with the ex-husband who is the one who got the creepy call in the middle of the night about Emily's whereabouts. Mmhmmm.
Meanwhile, Emily shows up at the house of the recently released Creepy Guy who spent several years in jail for her murder. How is Emily able to do this, you might wonder? She is at the very least a Person of Interest in a murder, and Creepy Guy is not someone the FBI is like "Oh, you lovable scamp! We're so sorry we imprisoned you!" about. Emily's "murder" was the only thing they were able to convict him on, but they are sure he is a serial killer, so you'd think they'd be keeping at least one eye out. So Emily should be under surveillance. Creepy Guy should be under surveillance. And Emily should DOUBLY be under surveillance, because this episode is all about a woman walking into the Boston PD to say, "Hey, I saw Emily with this guy!" (This guy being the suspect they thought they were taking down in episode 1, who is currently a murder victim with Emily's DNA under his nails. I have no idea what the relationship, if any, between Creepy Guy and Now Dead Guy is. Separate cases Emily was working at the time of her disappearance? Maybe?) The Boston detective, indistinguishable from the ex-husband, and arguably an even bigger idiot and even worse at his job, asks zero follow-up questions of this suddenly appearing witness. But back to Emily, who wanders freely, unsurveilled by either Boston PD or the FBI. She has a confrontation with (unsurveilled) Creepy Guy at the edge of his indoor pool (BECAUSE WATER!). Creepy Guy, smarter than anyone in law enforcement, has already called law enforcement. Idiot Detective, however, lets Emily go. I can't even remember why. This is Emily's only interaction with Idiot Detective as far as I can remember, until all of a sudden they're kind of flirting during the season's terrible denouement. Sadly, he will not go away.
Creepy Guy is dead by the end of episode 2. Episode 3 is about Corrupt FBI agent! Emily remembers to tell her ex, "Oh, yeah. I totally thought there might be a corrupt FBI agent right before I went missing." But Emily might have murdered Creepy Guy! Emily has been staying with her brother, who was once a doctor, but now sells medical supplies. Oh DID WE MENTION THAT EMILY IS ADOPOTED?!? We're gonna mention it now! Anyway, the brother lost it after Emily's disappearance (we don't really know why-they don't seem to be close) and fell into alcoholism. This, the show certainly seems to believe, is All Emily's Fault for getting abducted. A LOT of things will turn out to be All Emily's Fault. Bad Emily. How dare you get abducted? They have to have this manufactured fight, though, so that Emily will have to go to a motel. (How Emily is paying for anything is a mystery, but this is definitely not the show to solve anything logistical.)
Anyhoo. Episode 3 is notable for Idiot Detective ordering Idiot FBI Ex-Husband to arrest Emily and bring her in. Idiot FBI Ex-Husband pleads for some time. Emily reveals that she was the thing New Wife saw outside the house. The dog that once belonged to Emily and the Ex-by far the most trustworthy, competent character, other than Emily-growled, corroborating her story, so she couldn't have killed Creepy Guy. (This makes the shot that ends the first season utterly unintelligible, by the way. And something we learn later leaves us with zero workable suspects for the murder of Creepy Guy, but we will never speak of this again.) The Ex still has to bring Emily in. But first! The. World's. Worst. Sex. Scene.
As with ANYTHING emotional in this show, it comes so far out of nowhere that I had no clue what I was supposed to be thinking about this. I kept waiting for Emily to snatch the dumb Ex's gun or grab the motel phone to clonk him over the head, so she could make her escape. But no. They have badly shot, badly edited, badly lit, badly scored sex that even Stana cannot infuse anything non-terrible into. Emily DOES, in fact, make her escape, but only because the Idiot Ex leaves her in the main room while he stares, blank-eyed, slack-jawed, possibly constipated, into the bathroom mirror.
Although Idiot Ex is real mad and has fucked up real large, he strides into the office of his Special Agent in Charge and accuses him of being the Corrupt FBI Agent. The SAC is definitely the Corrupt FBI Agent, but that hardly matters, because the Ex is Special Agent Fuck-Up, so the SAC is like, "Dude, everyone in the world knows Emily is crazy and probably abducted herself!" (Which. Wait. What?) Emily, meanwhile has broken into the SAC's house and found a hand-written journal of his where he is drawing an image she keeps seeing in her therapy sessions. (Because, oh yeah, she has therapy for like two-and-a-half minutes total and the FBI is observing those tapes.)
The SAC knows that Emily broke in. He makes a phone call to someone who was supposed to be watching Emily. We will never know who this is. The evidence in the journal will never be relevant to anything. The fact that the SAC is the Corrupt FBI Agent will never be relevant to anything. Emily will briefly torture him (this is bad torture, though, not like the "it's my personal life that I hire prostitutes for" torture that Emily's brother is into-but we won't find that out until episode 5, I think). He will tell her that the drawings in his journal are just because he was obsessed with her case, but he has-in a matter of days-become convinced that she kidnapped herself in collusion with Creepy Guy, and yes, he was laundering money or maybe trafficking prostitutes or maybe both with Dead Guy Who Has Emily's DNA Under His Fingernails, but he had nothing to do with her abduction. There's nothing left for the Corrupt SAC, other than to get shot in the head while Emily escapes, despite the arrival of Idiot Ex and Idiot Detective. Idiot Detective is not wearing a vest. Idiot Ex is. We stop to have stilted expository conversation about this. I wonder, for a moment: Is this a clue that Idiot Detective is somehow in on this and knew that whoever shot Corrupt SAC would not shoot him? Silly, silly me. It is just very clunky exposition.
TO BE CONTINUED.