Jate fanfic: Breathe your name
Title: Breathe your name
Author: Polly
Ship: jate
Timeline: Set in season 1, after the ep 1x07 (The Moth)
Chapter: 1 (one-shot)
Rating: K
Summary: Kate is living at the beach's camp and Jack is living in the caves. Kate feels the effects of the distance between them.
Author's notice: It's a songfic and the music chosen is “Breathe your name” by Sixpence None the Richer
Kate’s pov
Today the sea is agitated. The wind blows against the waves, which break in a harsh way, but before this, they reach a considerable high.
The people on the beach are doing ordinary things. Shannon is stretched in her towel, just taking a sun bath; Boone and Locke left early in the morning to their mysterious hunt in the wood; Claire is sat down beside Rose, they are in a funny conversation. Sawyer is reading a book in front of his tent, like a guardian protecting his collection of stolen objects of the plane; he thinks that they belong to him now. Sayid left alone in one of his expedition through the island. Thus, each one of the survivors continues to do the same daily activities, as if they could give them a kind of normality instead of the chaos we are going through.
It's every day
I'm in this place
I feel this way
I feel the same
The sun is shining, the hours pass and some quiet surrounds me. Days elapsed without the possibility of a rescue. Of course we still have hope, we need to; otherwise, we will freak out. I don't know why I want so bad to leave, maybe it's because I'm not familiar with many people around me anymore. The last years on the run made me come up with different personalities - I used to be disguised, with alias as Monica, for instance - so it's strange to be Kate again during all the time. I wasn't able to know who I was anymore until I crashed on this island and something inexplicable happened: I didn't invent other name. I believe that the first hours were so scarred that I naturally didn't create other character. Incredible as it may seem, they like me. It's true that most of the survivors don’t know my past, but they trust me, they respect me.
So many days within this race
I need the truth
I need some grace
I need the path
To find my place
I need some truth
I need some grace
However, I'm not feeling nervous at our critical situation or because I have to live with this people. I'm worried because someone of the group who is living in the caves should have arrived here with the water at this time. He was generally the one who comes here - Jack. Nevertheless, he didn't come yesterday, Hurley brought the bottles and the day before yesterday, Charlie had the same task. What happened? Had something happened? Why didn't he come anymore?
Is it all inside my head?
Is it all inside my head?
Many questions overwhelm my mind, but one thing stands out: why am I so concerned about Jack? I barely know him, he is a free man, he doesn't owe me anything and we don't have any bond. I mean...well... I actually admit that he is the person who I trust the most on this island. We had a quick connection since we talked for the first time; during the few days we spent here, we went through life and death situations which made us closer... but... he made his choice, he wanted to stay on those stupid caves that he assured they are safe, although he had almost died under the rocks. And I made my choice; I wanted to stay at the beach because I think it's the right thing to do. Nobody would rescue us if we stayed hidden in the middle of the wood.
I'll view the list
And take my pick
I view my faith
And make a choice
'Cause it's nobody else's but mine
I look at the horizon and I decide to go for a walk at the beach. I watch the jungle and nothing comes. Then my thoughts were interrupted.
-Are you waiting on a visit, freckles?
-What?
I would continue to walk, but unfortunately Sawyer couldn't miss the chance to annoy me.
-He didn't come.
-What are you talking about?
-What could it be? I'm talking about the doctor! Do you think that I didn't notice that you are looking at that direction every five minutes with a worried face?
-Someone should have brought our water.
-Maybe the delivery truck is late. Or there was another landslide there.
Sawyer was laughing; his dimples were marking his cheek while he was closing the book.
-If it takes a long time, I will come over there.
After saying this, I managed to walk; I didn't want to continue the conversation with him because I had no patience at his jokes. Despite Jack said that Michael had analyzed the caves after the accident, it's impossible not to be afraid, it could happen again.
Thinking about it made me feel shivers down my spine. My heart beats fast while, once more, Jack is on my mind. I have thought about him more than I should. A different feeling that scares me because I don't know exactly what it is.
You are in my heart
I can feel your beat
And you move my mind
From behind the wheel
When I lose control
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name
Maybe I'm just missing our chatting...yeah, it must be this. I used to sit next to him at the campfire at night, starting a small talk and planning what we would do next day, something that would be helpful to leave this place or to survive here with dignity.
The part of you
That's part of me
We'll never die
We'll never leave
But now he lives in the caves and I live at the beach, this makes me frustrated because it seemed that we thought the same way and I really don't understand how he wants us to be rescued if we are in separate groups like these.
You'll view the list
And take your pick
You'll view my faith
And make a choice
'Cause it's nobody else's but yours
I decide to sit down next to the rocks, under the tree, trying to find some shelter from the sun; even so, its shining rays infiltrate among the branches. I stand still, although my core is completely shaken. After spending a while resting, my eyes start closing, the hot weather makes me sleepy. When I'm about to sleep, I hear a voice far away. Suddenly, I stand up and pay attention, the sound is coming from the wood.
It's a male voice; I manage to go to the jungle to find out what is happening. I see some trails and as I watch the recent footsteps, I'm almost sure that they belong to Jack.
-Jack!
I scream and look around.
-Jack! Is that you?
There was no answer. I follow the trail and go through the wood furthermore, then, an intense move from behind the foliage scares me. I look around and hear some strong noise. In a hurry, I run, that black smoke is approaching me.
I run like a mad, my legs are moving faster than my feet and I have to find a shelter to escape from that thing. I finally find the bamboos field and two trees are very close, so I fit between them. When I do this, the noise disappears. I take the chance to breathe; I'm breathless and very frightened. Then I heard the voice again, but this time, someone is calling me:
-Kate!
-Jack!
I forget that I'm hidden. When I hear my name coming out of Jack's mouth, I lose my mind, the monster is near, but I don't think in anything, I focus my attention in order to find him.
-Kate!
-Jack! Be careful, that thing is...
I have no time to complete the sentence, some terrible noise comes and the black shadow is everywhere. I shrink myself and desperately cry; with my eyes shut, I quietly count to five. Shivering and completely terrified, I decide to open my eyes; the fear overwhelm me and I cry even more as I think that Jack is outside. The noise stops and when I manage to leave to find him, I hear a scream far away and the smoke is taking its path to the sky, over the trees.
-No, no, please...
I don't listen to his voice and my sense says to me that indeed, that monster took him.
-Jack, where are you, tell me, please!
I put my right hand on my mouth at the horror of the situation and my tears don't stop. I desperately run and I look for him in every corner, shouting his name.
When I lose control
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name
Without an answer, I start sobbing, my heart aches with a genuine and intense pain for him, I feel devastated like a piece of me had been dragged away.
-Jack, Jack! Answer me, please! Jaaaaaaack!
I feel a hand over my shoulder, shaking me.
-Take it easy, freckles, he is right there.
-What?
A little dizzy, I see the sea at the horizon and Sawyer is staring at me with his wrinkled forehead. I look to the sky and see the tree which I had leaned against, people are at the beach and everything is ok like it was before. At this moment, I realize that I fell asleep and had a terrible nightmare, but my heart is still aching. Then, I see him far away.
Jack looks at me in a worried face. I guess he might have listened to my screams, calling him. All of a sudden, I stand up and run towards him, throwing myself in his arms, hugging him so tight as if it was for the last time. He doesn't understand anything, but he hugs me back and he says nothing when he notices that my tears are still recent and they had let my face wet. He just caresses my back in a soft way and pulls me against his body. His embrace is comforting, I feel protected and relived for seeing him alive. After few minutes of silence, he whispers, still attached to me:
-Are you ok?
At this time, I realize that I acted like a crazy. And in an embarrassing face, I pull away from him and answer:
-I'm sorry.... I... I was worried.
-Why?
-It took a long time... You usually don't come here too late.
-We had a setback, because of this, I'm late, I'm sorry.
-Another landslide?
-No, nothing serious, just Michael, who hurt his foot.
-Is he fine?
-Yes, it was just some torsion.
Some quick silence appears. Jack takes off his backpack and looks away before facing me again to ask me:
-Are you really ok, Kate?
Of course he might have been asking me again because he noticed that I had cried, but obviously I wouldn’t tell him why. I couldn't tell him that it was because I was afraid of losing him. Wait, did I really think about this? How can I lose somebody who doesn't belong to me?
-Yes, I'm fine. It's very hot today; we are without water and...
-I see. You must be dehydrated. Take it.
Jack opens the zipper of his backpack and gives me a bottle of water.
-Thanks, I'm really thirsty.
I gratefully smile and he gives me a shy smile back. I drink a big gulp and say to him:
-I thought you wouldn't visit us anymore.
-What?
He put his hands in his waist while he rests.
-You haven't come at the beach. Yesterday Hurley came here, on Monday, Charlie came...
-We are doing shifts.
I nod and look down because I'm feeling ashamed, I don't want to show him my huge disappointment at the fact that he is no longer coming to visit me all the time. When I raise my head to face him again, Jack is watching me in a thoughtful manner, his forehead is slightly wrinkled as if he was analyzing my crazy attitudes that day. His gaze is interrupted by Shannon and the others from the camp, who want to take the bottles of water he had brought for the group.
I whisper in a deep way and I confess to myself that this people annoy me when they interrupt our moment. Some sadness starts growing inside me because I know that Jack is going to leave soon, he will go back to the caves before dawn and God only knows when will be his next shift. However, before he pulls away once for all to distribute the bottles through the beach, Jack glances sideways at me and says:
-I miss you too.
Jack hardly utters these words and he quickly pulls away, not allowing me time to catch what he had spoken. I'm standing still, trying to understand the meaning of the word "too". Since when had I told him that I was missing him? Is he insane? After thinking, I come to conclusion that I hadn't said that with all the letters, but I had showed him through my embrace. And sometimes gestures are worth more than a thousand words.
I feel my cheeks getting red; despite I'm feeling ashamed at my past attitudes, I can say that I'm calm. That distressful situation which made my heart pumps fast is slowing down and some interior peace takes its place, some nice warmth surrounds me. Just knowing he is here and he is ok makes me feel better. Jack. I still can't explain what the experience of meeting him means, all I know is that the simple mention of his name already makes me feel safe. Jack. Like a refreshing breeze which slowly blows against my face in a hot summer day. And when I realize, I'm with a silly smile in my face, whispering, with his image invading my thoughts without permission.
'Cause you're in my heart
I can feel your beat
And you move my mind
From behind the wheel
When I lose control
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name
THE END
Author: Polly
Ship: jate
Timeline: Set in season 1, after the ep 1x07 (The Moth)
Chapter: 1 (one-shot)
Rating: K
Summary: Kate is living at the beach's camp and Jack is living in the caves. Kate feels the effects of the distance between them.
Author's notice: It's a songfic and the music chosen is “Breathe your name” by Sixpence None the Richer
Kate’s pov
Today the sea is agitated. The wind blows against the waves, which break in a harsh way, but before this, they reach a considerable high.
The people on the beach are doing ordinary things. Shannon is stretched in her towel, just taking a sun bath; Boone and Locke left early in the morning to their mysterious hunt in the wood; Claire is sat down beside Rose, they are in a funny conversation. Sawyer is reading a book in front of his tent, like a guardian protecting his collection of stolen objects of the plane; he thinks that they belong to him now. Sayid left alone in one of his expedition through the island. Thus, each one of the survivors continues to do the same daily activities, as if they could give them a kind of normality instead of the chaos we are going through.
It's every day
I'm in this place
I feel this way
I feel the same
The sun is shining, the hours pass and some quiet surrounds me. Days elapsed without the possibility of a rescue. Of course we still have hope, we need to; otherwise, we will freak out. I don't know why I want so bad to leave, maybe it's because I'm not familiar with many people around me anymore. The last years on the run made me come up with different personalities - I used to be disguised, with alias as Monica, for instance - so it's strange to be Kate again during all the time. I wasn't able to know who I was anymore until I crashed on this island and something inexplicable happened: I didn't invent other name. I believe that the first hours were so scarred that I naturally didn't create other character. Incredible as it may seem, they like me. It's true that most of the survivors don’t know my past, but they trust me, they respect me.
So many days within this race
I need the truth
I need some grace
I need the path
To find my place
I need some truth
I need some grace
However, I'm not feeling nervous at our critical situation or because I have to live with this people. I'm worried because someone of the group who is living in the caves should have arrived here with the water at this time. He was generally the one who comes here - Jack. Nevertheless, he didn't come yesterday, Hurley brought the bottles and the day before yesterday, Charlie had the same task. What happened? Had something happened? Why didn't he come anymore?
Is it all inside my head?
Is it all inside my head?
Many questions overwhelm my mind, but one thing stands out: why am I so concerned about Jack? I barely know him, he is a free man, he doesn't owe me anything and we don't have any bond. I mean...well... I actually admit that he is the person who I trust the most on this island. We had a quick connection since we talked for the first time; during the few days we spent here, we went through life and death situations which made us closer... but... he made his choice, he wanted to stay on those stupid caves that he assured they are safe, although he had almost died under the rocks. And I made my choice; I wanted to stay at the beach because I think it's the right thing to do. Nobody would rescue us if we stayed hidden in the middle of the wood.
I'll view the list
And take my pick
I view my faith
And make a choice
'Cause it's nobody else's but mine
I look at the horizon and I decide to go for a walk at the beach. I watch the jungle and nothing comes. Then my thoughts were interrupted.
-Are you waiting on a visit, freckles?
-What?
I would continue to walk, but unfortunately Sawyer couldn't miss the chance to annoy me.
-He didn't come.
-What are you talking about?
-What could it be? I'm talking about the doctor! Do you think that I didn't notice that you are looking at that direction every five minutes with a worried face?
-Someone should have brought our water.
-Maybe the delivery truck is late. Or there was another landslide there.
Sawyer was laughing; his dimples were marking his cheek while he was closing the book.
-If it takes a long time, I will come over there.
After saying this, I managed to walk; I didn't want to continue the conversation with him because I had no patience at his jokes. Despite Jack said that Michael had analyzed the caves after the accident, it's impossible not to be afraid, it could happen again.
Thinking about it made me feel shivers down my spine. My heart beats fast while, once more, Jack is on my mind. I have thought about him more than I should. A different feeling that scares me because I don't know exactly what it is.
You are in my heart
I can feel your beat
And you move my mind
From behind the wheel
When I lose control
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name
Maybe I'm just missing our chatting...yeah, it must be this. I used to sit next to him at the campfire at night, starting a small talk and planning what we would do next day, something that would be helpful to leave this place or to survive here with dignity.
The part of you
That's part of me
We'll never die
We'll never leave
But now he lives in the caves and I live at the beach, this makes me frustrated because it seemed that we thought the same way and I really don't understand how he wants us to be rescued if we are in separate groups like these.
You'll view the list
And take your pick
You'll view my faith
And make a choice
'Cause it's nobody else's but yours
I decide to sit down next to the rocks, under the tree, trying to find some shelter from the sun; even so, its shining rays infiltrate among the branches. I stand still, although my core is completely shaken. After spending a while resting, my eyes start closing, the hot weather makes me sleepy. When I'm about to sleep, I hear a voice far away. Suddenly, I stand up and pay attention, the sound is coming from the wood.
It's a male voice; I manage to go to the jungle to find out what is happening. I see some trails and as I watch the recent footsteps, I'm almost sure that they belong to Jack.
-Jack!
I scream and look around.
-Jack! Is that you?
There was no answer. I follow the trail and go through the wood furthermore, then, an intense move from behind the foliage scares me. I look around and hear some strong noise. In a hurry, I run, that black smoke is approaching me.
I run like a mad, my legs are moving faster than my feet and I have to find a shelter to escape from that thing. I finally find the bamboos field and two trees are very close, so I fit between them. When I do this, the noise disappears. I take the chance to breathe; I'm breathless and very frightened. Then I heard the voice again, but this time, someone is calling me:
-Kate!
-Jack!
I forget that I'm hidden. When I hear my name coming out of Jack's mouth, I lose my mind, the monster is near, but I don't think in anything, I focus my attention in order to find him.
-Kate!
-Jack! Be careful, that thing is...
I have no time to complete the sentence, some terrible noise comes and the black shadow is everywhere. I shrink myself and desperately cry; with my eyes shut, I quietly count to five. Shivering and completely terrified, I decide to open my eyes; the fear overwhelm me and I cry even more as I think that Jack is outside. The noise stops and when I manage to leave to find him, I hear a scream far away and the smoke is taking its path to the sky, over the trees.
-No, no, please...
I don't listen to his voice and my sense says to me that indeed, that monster took him.
-Jack, where are you, tell me, please!
I put my right hand on my mouth at the horror of the situation and my tears don't stop. I desperately run and I look for him in every corner, shouting his name.
When I lose control
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name
Without an answer, I start sobbing, my heart aches with a genuine and intense pain for him, I feel devastated like a piece of me had been dragged away.
-Jack, Jack! Answer me, please! Jaaaaaaack!
I feel a hand over my shoulder, shaking me.
-Take it easy, freckles, he is right there.
-What?
A little dizzy, I see the sea at the horizon and Sawyer is staring at me with his wrinkled forehead. I look to the sky and see the tree which I had leaned against, people are at the beach and everything is ok like it was before. At this moment, I realize that I fell asleep and had a terrible nightmare, but my heart is still aching. Then, I see him far away.
Jack looks at me in a worried face. I guess he might have listened to my screams, calling him. All of a sudden, I stand up and run towards him, throwing myself in his arms, hugging him so tight as if it was for the last time. He doesn't understand anything, but he hugs me back and he says nothing when he notices that my tears are still recent and they had let my face wet. He just caresses my back in a soft way and pulls me against his body. His embrace is comforting, I feel protected and relived for seeing him alive. After few minutes of silence, he whispers, still attached to me:
-Are you ok?
At this time, I realize that I acted like a crazy. And in an embarrassing face, I pull away from him and answer:
-I'm sorry.... I... I was worried.
-Why?
-It took a long time... You usually don't come here too late.
-We had a setback, because of this, I'm late, I'm sorry.
-Another landslide?
-No, nothing serious, just Michael, who hurt his foot.
-Is he fine?
-Yes, it was just some torsion.
Some quick silence appears. Jack takes off his backpack and looks away before facing me again to ask me:
-Are you really ok, Kate?
Of course he might have been asking me again because he noticed that I had cried, but obviously I wouldn’t tell him why. I couldn't tell him that it was because I was afraid of losing him. Wait, did I really think about this? How can I lose somebody who doesn't belong to me?
-Yes, I'm fine. It's very hot today; we are without water and...
-I see. You must be dehydrated. Take it.
Jack opens the zipper of his backpack and gives me a bottle of water.
-Thanks, I'm really thirsty.
I gratefully smile and he gives me a shy smile back. I drink a big gulp and say to him:
-I thought you wouldn't visit us anymore.
-What?
He put his hands in his waist while he rests.
-You haven't come at the beach. Yesterday Hurley came here, on Monday, Charlie came...
-We are doing shifts.
I nod and look down because I'm feeling ashamed, I don't want to show him my huge disappointment at the fact that he is no longer coming to visit me all the time. When I raise my head to face him again, Jack is watching me in a thoughtful manner, his forehead is slightly wrinkled as if he was analyzing my crazy attitudes that day. His gaze is interrupted by Shannon and the others from the camp, who want to take the bottles of water he had brought for the group.
I whisper in a deep way and I confess to myself that this people annoy me when they interrupt our moment. Some sadness starts growing inside me because I know that Jack is going to leave soon, he will go back to the caves before dawn and God only knows when will be his next shift. However, before he pulls away once for all to distribute the bottles through the beach, Jack glances sideways at me and says:
-I miss you too.
Jack hardly utters these words and he quickly pulls away, not allowing me time to catch what he had spoken. I'm standing still, trying to understand the meaning of the word "too". Since when had I told him that I was missing him? Is he insane? After thinking, I come to conclusion that I hadn't said that with all the letters, but I had showed him through my embrace. And sometimes gestures are worth more than a thousand words.
I feel my cheeks getting red; despite I'm feeling ashamed at my past attitudes, I can say that I'm calm. That distressful situation which made my heart pumps fast is slowing down and some interior peace takes its place, some nice warmth surrounds me. Just knowing he is here and he is ok makes me feel better. Jack. I still can't explain what the experience of meeting him means, all I know is that the simple mention of his name already makes me feel safe. Jack. Like a refreshing breeze which slowly blows against my face in a hot summer day. And when I realize, I'm with a silly smile in my face, whispering, with his image invading my thoughts without permission.
'Cause you're in my heart
I can feel your beat
And you move my mind
From behind the wheel
When I lose control
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name
THE END