new ink
2 weeks ago i went under the gun again for the 7th time. I've said in the past that i like having time between inkings as i like to see how i'm able to handle the pain. each time is different; I've been getting better at it with age and wisdom. Perhaps i shouldn't wait so long between visits, 5 and a half years since the last one, this was almost like losing my virginity all over again. Seriously, i was actually nervous when i walked into the room which caught me off guard. the young native guy named Carl was quiet at first, but as we spent our time together, we found that we had much in common, including Classical music.
What did i get, you might be asking yourselves by now. i'll get to that, i promise. but right now i would like to touch on the response to said tattoo. I announced to FB that i was getting a new tattoo, the cry was "YAY! Pics!!!" i posted a pre , bare virgin arm pic as my before shot (a few likes) and then the after shot. response? the sound of crickets. granted they were crap pictures on a cellphone,but those who know me and have seen it in person like it. So do i. but it's not finished, i'll be getting it more 3d and embellished come the new year, but for now i'm the proud owner of a stylized set of railroad tracks double wrapped around my right wrist like an 80's rock chicks' belt. my mom asked why i chose that, i told her the truth,breaking the silence about that elephant in the room with us for the past 20 years.
Me: "it's to remind myself that drugs don't rule me anymore."
Mom:" did they?"
Me: " for decades; anything to kill that pain."
Mom:"oh,i didn't realize..." (fibber)
Me:" but that's past now, i survived, and am coming out on the other side of it."
Mom:" i'm glad to hear it, can't wait to see it when it's done! But why train tracks?"
Me:" it was a pack that i made with my old crew from the "downward spiral years". when you were ready to get out, you got your tracks, and no one would offer you any again."
out of the 5 of us, 3 have our tracks. one doesn't use much anymore,just likes a little snowstorm on special occasions. the other, i've lost track of, but last i heard he was still going strong.
i hope he gets to see the light one day.
What did i get, you might be asking yourselves by now. i'll get to that, i promise. but right now i would like to touch on the response to said tattoo. I announced to FB that i was getting a new tattoo, the cry was "YAY! Pics!!!" i posted a pre , bare virgin arm pic as my before shot (a few likes) and then the after shot. response? the sound of crickets. granted they were crap pictures on a cellphone,but those who know me and have seen it in person like it. So do i. but it's not finished, i'll be getting it more 3d and embellished come the new year, but for now i'm the proud owner of a stylized set of railroad tracks double wrapped around my right wrist like an 80's rock chicks' belt. my mom asked why i chose that, i told her the truth,breaking the silence about that elephant in the room with us for the past 20 years.
Me: "it's to remind myself that drugs don't rule me anymore."
Mom:" did they?"
Me: " for decades; anything to kill that pain."
Mom:"oh,i didn't realize..." (fibber)
Me:" but that's past now, i survived, and am coming out on the other side of it."
Mom:" i'm glad to hear it, can't wait to see it when it's done! But why train tracks?"
Me:" it was a pack that i made with my old crew from the "downward spiral years". when you were ready to get out, you got your tracks, and no one would offer you any again."
out of the 5 of us, 3 have our tracks. one doesn't use much anymore,just likes a little snowstorm on special occasions. the other, i've lost track of, but last i heard he was still going strong.
i hope he gets to see the light one day.