Lunch with Daddy-- Calvin. (For Calvin)
After preschool, I waited by the rec room doors for Daddy to finish with his morning duties. I confess that I fidgeted.
I'd kept good tabs on Daddy since Mother had disappeared, bringing him meals in the early days, making sure he was all right. We saw each other practically every day, but I was particularly nervous about this meeting. Because it was lunch. Because I'd invited him. Because there was news I knew I had to share.
I know I was being silly, but I couldn't help it. Rationally, I knew I didn't have to share the news, nor did I have to worry about Daddy's approval, but the irrational part of me was loud, and also feeling guilty that I should have found someone, just a couple of months after he'd lost the most important person in his life.
But despite all of these irrational fears, there was an irrational compulsion in me that told me my daughter's duty, and told me to face up to it.
So I waited for the man who would become my father.
I'd kept good tabs on Daddy since Mother had disappeared, bringing him meals in the early days, making sure he was all right. We saw each other practically every day, but I was particularly nervous about this meeting. Because it was lunch. Because I'd invited him. Because there was news I knew I had to share.
I know I was being silly, but I couldn't help it. Rationally, I knew I didn't have to share the news, nor did I have to worry about Daddy's approval, but the irrational part of me was loud, and also feeling guilty that I should have found someone, just a couple of months after he'd lost the most important person in his life.
But despite all of these irrational fears, there was an irrational compulsion in me that told me my daughter's duty, and told me to face up to it.
So I waited for the man who would become my father.