So Yes...........Fish...........
Well I feel like fishguts...........to be honest.......
I feel like a fish through this whole JobScenario..........Of HogsBreath
Like bait , i swallowed the job offer answered the add got the interview , got the job of training got to train, got nods and praises of approval from the HogsBreathCafe even a fucking apron with peoples spit and pips all over there plates of blood red cow carcus.......yes i can be a bitch and i think uno what i have a fucking right to feel like a bitch , just god damn it
BE FUCKING HONEST WITH ME PEOPLE ! IF U DONT LIKE ME TELL ME ! IF U DONT THINK IM GOOD ENOUGH TELL ME ! I ALREADY FUCKING THINK IT about myself so fucking tell me to re inforce it !!!!!!!!
........yet now I have become the type of food they sell on their plates
fish food.........or a really gutsy piece of salmon...........with ranch dressing? The dressing symbolises all the positive enregy i felt that night after that shift........draining from me............oh yess how dramatic, but u get that from fishes , just look at their faces when they are dead..mouths gaping as if too take that last final fucking breath of life and the positivity they loved swimming in the ocean , not gewtting eaten by the own sharks in there lifes pool...........
The feeling of not getting the oh so promised call back from them, has made me feel now , like a goldfish, still swimming around having no memory anymore of shifts at laserforce cause its all the fucking same.....
But still i think there was something in the air that night i worked there the stars were bright fernando.......yes its like the abba song im listening to , but its true..........
Im still.......im swallowing typing this but i have to it , in order for positivity........i was proud of myself.........i still am.........cause i know i was myself.......i know i did my best...........and i know all the fat people that ate there had a nice dinner !
Need a bib fatty???????????????????????????????????????
erghhhhhhhhh sorry this is the evil part of myself i dont like.............if evil is coming to ramsay street i think its visited me first
I better stop typing about it.........It just didnt help, looking at the jobs online today and seeing
WANT A NEW AND EXCITING CARREER........WE NEED 20 PLUS PEOPLE TO BE WAITSTAFF AT THE HOGS BREATH CAFE AT CARINDALE...............
So yeah that didnt help..............this glass of champers does i suppose.......but i want more than that
I desire more than that
I want to give will and i a happy life, i want to do things with him go places, travel, i want money fucking stupid hanus money i hate u !
On a better note, i just had to get that out
I didnt stop my motivation and i have a job interview next monday with MBF and also one with SUBWAY.......I just keep applying im like a madlydriven woman..........but i dont care.........Working at laserforce at the moemment as a staff member u feel like u r not wanted there anyway.......u work so hard and they complain, we get a pay rise our hrs are cut back.........go figure........im over it
Theres something for me isnt there? im going to keep trying
the main thing though is i feel i let myself down, i let will down, i let my friends down
by being excited for something i thought was already in existence, but just turned out to be typical me
fish.............
I know i smell like it
I like to eat it
But being a fish..........is nothing like i felt when i thought i was a pig.............
In my previous post
theres plent of fish in the sea
but where is this fucking miraculous job sea !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the happiest note though ! I got to spend the day with Michelle and she helped me choose decorations for will and my engagment party , it was lovely we had the greatest day
blue and white are the colours and its going to look very spiffy.............i just wish i didnt have to buy it from dollars and sense , i wish it was like tiffanys..........lol or something to that effect
warning warning im pretty down.............and i am so angry with myself..........
why couldnt i have done better?
go fish................
I feel like a fish through this whole JobScenario..........Of HogsBreath
Like bait , i swallowed the job offer answered the add got the interview , got the job of training got to train, got nods and praises of approval from the HogsBreathCafe even a fucking apron with peoples spit and pips all over there plates of blood red cow carcus.......yes i can be a bitch and i think uno what i have a fucking right to feel like a bitch , just god damn it
BE FUCKING HONEST WITH ME PEOPLE ! IF U DONT LIKE ME TELL ME ! IF U DONT THINK IM GOOD ENOUGH TELL ME ! I ALREADY FUCKING THINK IT about myself so fucking tell me to re inforce it !!!!!!!!
........yet now I have become the type of food they sell on their plates
fish food.........or a really gutsy piece of salmon...........with ranch dressing? The dressing symbolises all the positive enregy i felt that night after that shift........draining from me............oh yess how dramatic, but u get that from fishes , just look at their faces when they are dead..mouths gaping as if too take that last final fucking breath of life and the positivity they loved swimming in the ocean , not gewtting eaten by the own sharks in there lifes pool...........
The feeling of not getting the oh so promised call back from them, has made me feel now , like a goldfish, still swimming around having no memory anymore of shifts at laserforce cause its all the fucking same.....
But still i think there was something in the air that night i worked there the stars were bright fernando.......yes its like the abba song im listening to , but its true..........
Im still.......im swallowing typing this but i have to it , in order for positivity........i was proud of myself.........i still am.........cause i know i was myself.......i know i did my best...........and i know all the fat people that ate there had a nice dinner !
Need a bib fatty???????????????????????????????????????
erghhhhhhhhh sorry this is the evil part of myself i dont like.............if evil is coming to ramsay street i think its visited me first
I better stop typing about it.........It just didnt help, looking at the jobs online today and seeing
WANT A NEW AND EXCITING CARREER........WE NEED 20 PLUS PEOPLE TO BE WAITSTAFF AT THE HOGS BREATH CAFE AT CARINDALE...............
So yeah that didnt help..............this glass of champers does i suppose.......but i want more than that
I desire more than that
I want to give will and i a happy life, i want to do things with him go places, travel, i want money fucking stupid hanus money i hate u !
On a better note, i just had to get that out
I didnt stop my motivation and i have a job interview next monday with MBF and also one with SUBWAY.......I just keep applying im like a madlydriven woman..........but i dont care.........Working at laserforce at the moemment as a staff member u feel like u r not wanted there anyway.......u work so hard and they complain, we get a pay rise our hrs are cut back.........go figure........im over it
Theres something for me isnt there? im going to keep trying
the main thing though is i feel i let myself down, i let will down, i let my friends down
by being excited for something i thought was already in existence, but just turned out to be typical me
fish.............
I know i smell like it
I like to eat it
But being a fish..........is nothing like i felt when i thought i was a pig.............
In my previous post
theres plent of fish in the sea
but where is this fucking miraculous job sea !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the happiest note though ! I got to spend the day with Michelle and she helped me choose decorations for will and my engagment party , it was lovely we had the greatest day
blue and white are the colours and its going to look very spiffy.............i just wish i didnt have to buy it from dollars and sense , i wish it was like tiffanys..........lol or something to that effect
warning warning im pretty down.............and i am so angry with myself..........
why couldnt i have done better?
go fish................