The latest privacy outrage
Hackers Steal Santa's Naughty List
By P. Madness
NORTH POLE (AP) -- Police reported today that an unknown group of hackers broke into Santa Klaus Corporation, Inc.'s computers last night and made off with the corporation's so-called naughty list. Although investigators are still poring over the computer logs, several Microsoft Windows security flaws appear to be involved. A corporate spoke-elf said that, if confirmed, this will likely result in Bill Gates and family getting a lot of coal this year.
The list contained the names, addresses, GPS locations, and national identification numbers (Social Security numbers in the case of Americans) of customers the Corporation deemed "naughty". Identity theft experts say that having this information -- especially identification numbers -- makes it easy for a thief to steal someone's identity. The corporate spoke-elf defended the company's use of identification numbers: "It's a big world, a lot of people have the same name, and people move around a lot; we don't know of any other way to track people and still deliver the service our customers expect."
In addition to customer identities, the list details the occurrences and circumstances when each customer has been naughty. "The list is amazingly comprehensive," said detective Smith, "they showed me my record and they even had the time I dipped Susie Jerkins ponytail in ink in fourth grade!"
The list also contained credit card numbers for many United States customers as part of a partnership with the Equifax credit reporting agency to leverage the corporation's unique data gathering abilities. Although denied by the corporation, several sources in the Pentagon said the Department of Homeland Security is currently negotiating with the corporation for similar access.
How to Tell If You May Be Affected:
You may be affected if two or more of the following apply to you:
* your family subscribes to the Santa Klaus(TM) service; generally, you are a subscriber if you receive presents on Christmas morning.
* you have ever received coal for Christmas or have received no presents for Christmas when you were expecting them.
* you have been naughty this year; acts considered naughty by the Corporation include felonies, being mean to your siblings, and cutting people off in traffic.
The motives of the intruders are unknown at present; because only the naughty list was taken (the "nice" list and wish lists are on the same server), police suspect that the intruders plan to use the list for blackmail purposes or plan to sell selected sublists to companies selling Viagra, porn, and the like.
By P. Madness
NORTH POLE (AP) -- Police reported today that an unknown group of hackers broke into Santa Klaus Corporation, Inc.'s computers last night and made off with the corporation's so-called naughty list. Although investigators are still poring over the computer logs, several Microsoft Windows security flaws appear to be involved. A corporate spoke-elf said that, if confirmed, this will likely result in Bill Gates and family getting a lot of coal this year.
The list contained the names, addresses, GPS locations, and national identification numbers (Social Security numbers in the case of Americans) of customers the Corporation deemed "naughty". Identity theft experts say that having this information -- especially identification numbers -- makes it easy for a thief to steal someone's identity. The corporate spoke-elf defended the company's use of identification numbers: "It's a big world, a lot of people have the same name, and people move around a lot; we don't know of any other way to track people and still deliver the service our customers expect."
In addition to customer identities, the list details the occurrences and circumstances when each customer has been naughty. "The list is amazingly comprehensive," said detective Smith, "they showed me my record and they even had the time I dipped Susie Jerkins ponytail in ink in fourth grade!"
The list also contained credit card numbers for many United States customers as part of a partnership with the Equifax credit reporting agency to leverage the corporation's unique data gathering abilities. Although denied by the corporation, several sources in the Pentagon said the Department of Homeland Security is currently negotiating with the corporation for similar access.
How to Tell If You May Be Affected:
You may be affected if two or more of the following apply to you:
* your family subscribes to the Santa Klaus(TM) service; generally, you are a subscriber if you receive presents on Christmas morning.
* you have ever received coal for Christmas or have received no presents for Christmas when you were expecting them.
* you have been naughty this year; acts considered naughty by the Corporation include felonies, being mean to your siblings, and cutting people off in traffic.
The motives of the intruders are unknown at present; because only the naughty list was taken (the "nice" list and wish lists are on the same server), police suspect that the intruders plan to use the list for blackmail purposes or plan to sell selected sublists to companies selling Viagra, porn, and the like.