if the partys over, and the fun has to end would you just please bury me with it
sometimes i sit and i wonder when i will just be........okay
when things look great, they never are
when i look back on the bad times i see them as the best times of my life.
everyone grows, everyone changes.
but i cant seem to fathom my future being as crazy as my past.
i miss someone who is there for me, who doesnt give a shit, but they still do
i want to have that closure again, that feeling that maybe, just maybe, one person will except me no matter what.
i keep thinking i find it, but i dont
people just keep letting me down, or maybe im just letting myself down
i cant rely on people, i know that, but can i rely on me?
everyone needs someone that they can say anything to
i use to have that
now its gone
i keep thinking ill get it again one day,
but the more and more i look at people around me, i realize that maybe no one has that.
id like to think that once i get out of this place, ill be on a new road
a new adventure, perhaps.
but maybe the roads are all the same, and adventures dont exist.
i miss love.
really i do.
im so scared of it it makes me sick.
i cant get it out of my mind, though, how much i need it.
these people that i know, they dont know me, and i dont know them, im sure
but there is one that i really would love to love
and there is one that i have loved long ago. maybe i still feel it.
the first, breaks my heart everyday, i know my feelings cannot be shared, though they are.
its complicated really. this guy, he is my....ah. if i could even explain it, maybe it would be easier. and he cares about me, i think..but i also wonder how deep this could ever go. we are wonderful together, its fantastic. butterflies, smiles, happy thoughts, its all there. but something about it scares the shit out of me. something tells me not to get attached. but you dont care about that, do you?
the second............how can i even begin to explain. might be the only one to read this. and thats why im writing it. because i need to say this, but i cannot. i cannot cry i cannot laugh, i can only think. once i said things would be right again, once i knew that. i knew that i would always love this one. something about it i cannot explain just keeps me wanting more. more talk, more laugh, more silence, more...everything. i wonder if you would come with me. i wonder if you would still...accept. how can i say that i hate you, and i love you all at once. i dont know what to blame this on.
me, you, the 'o so mighty higher being' in this world.
someone once said to me not to let anyone get me down, even myself.
what if no one is getting me up either?
every day feels the same, work, play, sleep, drugs, ciggaretts, alcohol, school, work, more drugs.
there are so many that would tell me that they love me but i cannot help but to question that. i think only one person would say that and mean it. so should i accept that?
i wish i could move on, but even after two years, i cannot believe that i dream of you. that i think about you when im falling asleep. i could kill myself for that. i am suppose to have strength and stability for myself. however, i feel like a hug from you would just.....
i cannot hug you, though, i will die.
i dont know if i can ever have that again.
that feeling. it was joy, now is fear.
once there was a girl named brooke, and she was scared.
then she left that town, and was happy. scared. happy.
who the hell knows what that fuck im talking about??
when things look great, they never are
when i look back on the bad times i see them as the best times of my life.
everyone grows, everyone changes.
but i cant seem to fathom my future being as crazy as my past.
i miss someone who is there for me, who doesnt give a shit, but they still do
i want to have that closure again, that feeling that maybe, just maybe, one person will except me no matter what.
i keep thinking i find it, but i dont
people just keep letting me down, or maybe im just letting myself down
i cant rely on people, i know that, but can i rely on me?
everyone needs someone that they can say anything to
i use to have that
now its gone
i keep thinking ill get it again one day,
but the more and more i look at people around me, i realize that maybe no one has that.
id like to think that once i get out of this place, ill be on a new road
a new adventure, perhaps.
but maybe the roads are all the same, and adventures dont exist.
i miss love.
really i do.
im so scared of it it makes me sick.
i cant get it out of my mind, though, how much i need it.
these people that i know, they dont know me, and i dont know them, im sure
but there is one that i really would love to love
and there is one that i have loved long ago. maybe i still feel it.
the first, breaks my heart everyday, i know my feelings cannot be shared, though they are.
its complicated really. this guy, he is my....ah. if i could even explain it, maybe it would be easier. and he cares about me, i think..but i also wonder how deep this could ever go. we are wonderful together, its fantastic. butterflies, smiles, happy thoughts, its all there. but something about it scares the shit out of me. something tells me not to get attached. but you dont care about that, do you?
the second............how can i even begin to explain. might be the only one to read this. and thats why im writing it. because i need to say this, but i cannot. i cannot cry i cannot laugh, i can only think. once i said things would be right again, once i knew that. i knew that i would always love this one. something about it i cannot explain just keeps me wanting more. more talk, more laugh, more silence, more...everything. i wonder if you would come with me. i wonder if you would still...accept. how can i say that i hate you, and i love you all at once. i dont know what to blame this on.
me, you, the 'o so mighty higher being' in this world.
someone once said to me not to let anyone get me down, even myself.
what if no one is getting me up either?
every day feels the same, work, play, sleep, drugs, ciggaretts, alcohol, school, work, more drugs.
there are so many that would tell me that they love me but i cannot help but to question that. i think only one person would say that and mean it. so should i accept that?
i wish i could move on, but even after two years, i cannot believe that i dream of you. that i think about you when im falling asleep. i could kill myself for that. i am suppose to have strength and stability for myself. however, i feel like a hug from you would just.....
i cannot hug you, though, i will die.
i dont know if i can ever have that again.
that feeling. it was joy, now is fear.
once there was a girl named brooke, and she was scared.
then she left that town, and was happy. scared. happy.
who the hell knows what that fuck im talking about??