bye bye beautiful.
so i just got signed out.its funny how 12 years of education dwindles down to a few signatures on a card. It hasnt sunk in yet. I'm not sure when or if it will. I dont have to go to school again. It's a hard thing to come to grips with. I hated this place so much that I made myself invisible. and now that I finally am getting out I want to be seen. I want to know everyone and for everyone to know me. I wish that I could have been a different person for the past four years. Someone braver and not so hating. Im not sure if it's being here that I will miss or the people. or maybe both. Im never going to audition for another play again or skip class or feel anything like this again. I fear change. and this is a HUGE change.Why am I just now starting to love this place and not hate it.? Im scared. Bright Eyes lyrics that are going through my head right now:
"The future has got me worried, such awful thoughts. My head is a carousel of pictures. The spinning never stops. I just want someone to walk in front and I'll follow the leader. Like when I fell under the weight of a schoolboy crush. I started carrying her books and doing lots of drugs. I almost forgot who I was, but came to my senses. Now I try to be assertive. I'm making plans. I want to rise to the occasion, yeah, meet all of their demands. But all I do is just lay in bed and hide under the covers. I know I should be brave but I'm just afraid of all this change."
I wish that I could have a little more time....gee wiz Im a fagtard!
I got my senior keg tickets! Im totally excited! I gave Heavy Metal an invite to my party. He didnt seem to enthused he was like "sweet" Im sure that he threw it away anyways.I need to stop with that silly infatuation. school is over and yeah it needs to end.
I saw Alyssa Tapps today and I love her! Man Im so lame. Comedy Fest is tomarrow I just wish that people would have their priorities straight instead of their retarded choir thing that is next week when Comedy Fest is tomarrow.
Well that is all my crazy denile laced ramblings for today.
...is anyone else feeling like me?i doubt it.
"The future has got me worried, such awful thoughts. My head is a carousel of pictures. The spinning never stops. I just want someone to walk in front and I'll follow the leader. Like when I fell under the weight of a schoolboy crush. I started carrying her books and doing lots of drugs. I almost forgot who I was, but came to my senses. Now I try to be assertive. I'm making plans. I want to rise to the occasion, yeah, meet all of their demands. But all I do is just lay in bed and hide under the covers. I know I should be brave but I'm just afraid of all this change."
I wish that I could have a little more time....gee wiz Im a fagtard!
I got my senior keg tickets! Im totally excited! I gave Heavy Metal an invite to my party. He didnt seem to enthused he was like "sweet" Im sure that he threw it away anyways.I need to stop with that silly infatuation. school is over and yeah it needs to end.
I saw Alyssa Tapps today and I love her! Man Im so lame. Comedy Fest is tomarrow I just wish that people would have their priorities straight instead of their retarded choir thing that is next week when Comedy Fest is tomarrow.
Well that is all my crazy denile laced ramblings for today.
...is anyone else feeling like me?i doubt it.