No longer there
And I can't make it go away
So what if you said you miss me? So what if you made the effort to continue the conversation? It's not there anymore. What used to hold us together, what made me miss you when you weren't there, what probably made you feel the same. It's just not there anymore. You said you miss me. I beg to differ... You just miss the memories we shared. Those times we could talk to each other without running out of topics. Without any fear, without any obstructions. You miss those times. You don't miss me.
And no, you can't get it back just because you said so. The trust is no longer there... I've built this defence mechanism, protecting myself from everyone, not just you. When guys talk to me, I think twice about answering them. You instilled this fear. I let my guard down, I fell. You hurt me once, apparently it wasn't enough. You told me you miss me, you lifted my hopes. I tried hard to regain the courage I lost not too far behind, I tried to find the spark again. And when I found it, you let me down again... This time the fall was harder than ever.
And for the 3rd time, you told me you still miss me. As much as I want to trust and believe you, because I know that was the thing that held us together, I can no longer do so. Facing you, there is just this invisible barrier, this invisible wall, so intangible I can't make out what is it to rid of it. Even kids know they have to learn their lessons. I was stupid, all my friends say. I fell for it twice, I got played twice, I forgot to learn my lessons.
But now no. After a cold hard fall, I've reminded myself everyday. Every moment. Every time I see you, it comes back again. The sick feeling that I should not be hurt like this, not by you, nor anyone.
It's not easy. I don't know if I should trust you again. I don't know if I can take it for the 3rd time. I'm just as vulnerable, if not more. I want to, but something in me tells me I shouldn't.
Maybe you shouldn't have missed me. Maybe we could have just talked as normal friends, without that line, those 3 words. Those 3 words mean a lot more than what they seem, I don't know if you knew what you were saying when you did. I am full of doubt of whatever you say now. I pretend to acknowledge, because I know I can't question every line you say. The trust is simply not there, even for the simplest things. You ask me if I'm busy, were you? Are you? Maybe you're talking to Yj.
I can't trust you.
You taught me not to love. You warned me not to love. You made me afraid of love.
And I'm warning myself, I'll never fall for you again.
So what if you said you miss me? So what if you made the effort to continue the conversation? It's not there anymore. What used to hold us together, what made me miss you when you weren't there, what probably made you feel the same. It's just not there anymore. You said you miss me. I beg to differ... You just miss the memories we shared. Those times we could talk to each other without running out of topics. Without any fear, without any obstructions. You miss those times. You don't miss me.
And no, you can't get it back just because you said so. The trust is no longer there... I've built this defence mechanism, protecting myself from everyone, not just you. When guys talk to me, I think twice about answering them. You instilled this fear. I let my guard down, I fell. You hurt me once, apparently it wasn't enough. You told me you miss me, you lifted my hopes. I tried hard to regain the courage I lost not too far behind, I tried to find the spark again. And when I found it, you let me down again... This time the fall was harder than ever.
And for the 3rd time, you told me you still miss me. As much as I want to trust and believe you, because I know that was the thing that held us together, I can no longer do so. Facing you, there is just this invisible barrier, this invisible wall, so intangible I can't make out what is it to rid of it. Even kids know they have to learn their lessons. I was stupid, all my friends say. I fell for it twice, I got played twice, I forgot to learn my lessons.
But now no. After a cold hard fall, I've reminded myself everyday. Every moment. Every time I see you, it comes back again. The sick feeling that I should not be hurt like this, not by you, nor anyone.
It's not easy. I don't know if I should trust you again. I don't know if I can take it for the 3rd time. I'm just as vulnerable, if not more. I want to, but something in me tells me I shouldn't.
Maybe you shouldn't have missed me. Maybe we could have just talked as normal friends, without that line, those 3 words. Those 3 words mean a lot more than what they seem, I don't know if you knew what you were saying when you did. I am full of doubt of whatever you say now. I pretend to acknowledge, because I know I can't question every line you say. The trust is simply not there, even for the simplest things. You ask me if I'm busy, were you? Are you? Maybe you're talking to Yj.
I can't trust you.
You taught me not to love. You warned me not to love. You made me afraid of love.
And I'm warning myself, I'll never fall for you again.