(no subject)
Good evening my dears - wow, updates galore this hols! Shall be back to my no updating before long no doubt. Roll on having the internet in my lovely third year room :)
Last night I chatted to Lins on MSN which was nice - she also sent me an email saying it was lovely to catch up and she couldn't wait to have us all back in the office, by which she clearly means Matt and I because no other "part-timers" are ever there!
Today was fun - I caught the bus to Burnley, walked into two shops and bought something in each (eek!). I bought this bag in dotty p's and then the Bloc Party Album in Music Zone, having been unable to download much of their stuff last night. I did however manage to download the entire album by The Bravery :)
I then decided my bank balance had had enough of a battering recently, and walked the 35mins to the farm, where I whiled away a pleasant hour or two with my horse, before my dad picked me up.
He reminded me about it being Monday and hence possibly a Guides night, so I checked with Bev to see if it was on tonight and it was! Which resulted in me spending a nice couple of hours catching up with her and the older guides (year 10ers) and being very good and not eating more than 2 sweets (they were decorating Easter eggs with icing and sweets because it's a tradition, and they couldn't do it before the hols!)
Now I have spent the entire night since then pissing about on the net, which is bad as I need to work :( Though I have had texts from Thaira, who I worked with over summer, which is cool, I am meeting up with hannah again before we go back to uni and I have made a pact with Alison to occupy desks near each other in library, so we can force each other to work and spend time there, but take breaks together too :)
Now everyone is on MSN (Lins, Alison, Steve, Alice, Emma, Vikki, James) but I am not going to go on because I will spend too long on there and not go to bed.
And for random stuff...this hols has been nice because my dad and I have not fallen out. We have barely even argued. The first hols I was back from uni (Christmas) we fell out massively because he found it hard to adjust to me being back and I missed my friends and moped and i wasn't helped by the fact that he was still going out with Jen (slight touch of the psycho there!).
Anyways, most hols after that we didn't fall out again so badly but we did argue a little, but this hols has been remarkably peaceful. I think I'm appreciating being home a little more now, because I know it's really only for a holiday/break, and he's used to me coming back. Plus I have been walking the dog lots for him which always helps I think!! Just enjoying it really.
Going back to uni next week, on the 14th. We're going to Doncaster that day, and putting flowers on my mum's ashes plot because that day will be three years to the day that she died. Three whole years, I can't believe it's been that long. Sometimes it seems like yesterday, sometimes it seems like a lifetime. I think about her most days and sometimes I wonder what it'll be like to get married or have kids and not have a mum there to see it all, to go through it all with me. I hope she's proud of what I've achieved so far.
I always manage to find an almost mother like figure wherever I go, as a kind of substitute but in a way I can't explain. Like Gill - when I was still at sixth form she was one of the couple of teachers I talked to a lot, about anything. Actually, it's not really a mother type thing I realise, it's more of a big sister/best friend thing really. I really cherish those friendships in a way more than most friendships.
I think now although if I saw Gill more/at all it would still be the same, Lins and Nicky have become my replacements. I love them both but actually in a way, Lins is more of a really good friend, like Alison is but I have known Lins longer, and Nicky is more of the big sister/really good friend figure, except even more so than Gill because I see her more, and in social contexts too :)
Right now, I have to admit to being rather content with my life, even if I do need to do more work!!! Seriosuly, I'm having a major motivation problem! Argh!
Now I'm off to finish burning some CDs for said Nicky and write her a letter, because I miss her and she once mentioned something about letters being nicer than emails so off to write I go...then to bed.
God I'm going to miss the sabbs when they go. I will definitely go see them in London though, especially if Nicky and Lins are living together!! But at least I will still have lovely Balliol people such as and_it_burns around if they forgive me for not being arounf college much, and the Biologists and part-timers.
Two weeks til the next open day, can't wait!! Love love love access work :)
love you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Last night I chatted to Lins on MSN which was nice - she also sent me an email saying it was lovely to catch up and she couldn't wait to have us all back in the office, by which she clearly means Matt and I because no other "part-timers" are ever there!
Today was fun - I caught the bus to Burnley, walked into two shops and bought something in each (eek!). I bought this bag in dotty p's and then the Bloc Party Album in Music Zone, having been unable to download much of their stuff last night. I did however manage to download the entire album by The Bravery :)
I then decided my bank balance had had enough of a battering recently, and walked the 35mins to the farm, where I whiled away a pleasant hour or two with my horse, before my dad picked me up.
He reminded me about it being Monday and hence possibly a Guides night, so I checked with Bev to see if it was on tonight and it was! Which resulted in me spending a nice couple of hours catching up with her and the older guides (year 10ers) and being very good and not eating more than 2 sweets (they were decorating Easter eggs with icing and sweets because it's a tradition, and they couldn't do it before the hols!)
Now I have spent the entire night since then pissing about on the net, which is bad as I need to work :( Though I have had texts from Thaira, who I worked with over summer, which is cool, I am meeting up with hannah again before we go back to uni and I have made a pact with Alison to occupy desks near each other in library, so we can force each other to work and spend time there, but take breaks together too :)
Now everyone is on MSN (Lins, Alison, Steve, Alice, Emma, Vikki, James) but I am not going to go on because I will spend too long on there and not go to bed.
And for random stuff...this hols has been nice because my dad and I have not fallen out. We have barely even argued. The first hols I was back from uni (Christmas) we fell out massively because he found it hard to adjust to me being back and I missed my friends and moped and i wasn't helped by the fact that he was still going out with Jen (slight touch of the psycho there!).
Anyways, most hols after that we didn't fall out again so badly but we did argue a little, but this hols has been remarkably peaceful. I think I'm appreciating being home a little more now, because I know it's really only for a holiday/break, and he's used to me coming back. Plus I have been walking the dog lots for him which always helps I think!! Just enjoying it really.
Going back to uni next week, on the 14th. We're going to Doncaster that day, and putting flowers on my mum's ashes plot because that day will be three years to the day that she died. Three whole years, I can't believe it's been that long. Sometimes it seems like yesterday, sometimes it seems like a lifetime. I think about her most days and sometimes I wonder what it'll be like to get married or have kids and not have a mum there to see it all, to go through it all with me. I hope she's proud of what I've achieved so far.
I always manage to find an almost mother like figure wherever I go, as a kind of substitute but in a way I can't explain. Like Gill - when I was still at sixth form she was one of the couple of teachers I talked to a lot, about anything. Actually, it's not really a mother type thing I realise, it's more of a big sister/best friend thing really. I really cherish those friendships in a way more than most friendships.
I think now although if I saw Gill more/at all it would still be the same, Lins and Nicky have become my replacements. I love them both but actually in a way, Lins is more of a really good friend, like Alison is but I have known Lins longer, and Nicky is more of the big sister/really good friend figure, except even more so than Gill because I see her more, and in social contexts too :)
Right now, I have to admit to being rather content with my life, even if I do need to do more work!!! Seriosuly, I'm having a major motivation problem! Argh!
Now I'm off to finish burning some CDs for said Nicky and write her a letter, because I miss her and she once mentioned something about letters being nicer than emails so off to write I go...then to bed.
God I'm going to miss the sabbs when they go. I will definitely go see them in London though, especially if Nicky and Lins are living together!! But at least I will still have lovely Balliol people such as and_it_burns around if they forgive me for not being arounf college much, and the Biologists and part-timers.
Two weeks til the next open day, can't wait!! Love love love access work :)
love you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx