the ghost of you
Your life is completely make believe. You've become so fucking delusional it makes me sick to my stomach. Take your blinders off, this kid you think so highly of is going to kill you. He is dealing you the last of your life in grams. Is that what your life has succumb to, an eight ball? I wish I could wake up from this nightmare. I wish I wasn't living this for you, I need you to feel. Thats it tho isn't it - You've always been the master at projecting your problems onto others. You make yourself the victim and cast your issues onto us. We wear them, not you. I am done beating myself up over it. You have zero quality of life left its been gone for awhile now.
Some days it feels like I am carrying the weight of the world. I'm fighting an uphill battle and I am alone. This fight is my own. She's high and drunk every time I pick her up for an important doctor appointment its so embarrassing; in reality she hasn't had a clear mind in years. I'm burning the candle at both ends, and she barley cares she lost her flame long ago. How do I summon the strength to fight this battle for everyone. My little sister can't be bothered with the updates she's busy living the life of a 19 year old. My brother hasn't been apart of any of our lives for some time now, but I bet your ass he'll be there waiting for his hand out when shes gone. I can't even be mad at them. It's so easy to build these protective walls and safe heavens I guess we've always had too. I'm just scared I'm not strong enough to do this on my own.
Some days it feels like I am carrying the weight of the world. I'm fighting an uphill battle and I am alone. This fight is my own. She's high and drunk every time I pick her up for an important doctor appointment its so embarrassing; in reality she hasn't had a clear mind in years. I'm burning the candle at both ends, and she barley cares she lost her flame long ago. How do I summon the strength to fight this battle for everyone. My little sister can't be bothered with the updates she's busy living the life of a 19 year old. My brother hasn't been apart of any of our lives for some time now, but I bet your ass he'll be there waiting for his hand out when shes gone. I can't even be mad at them. It's so easy to build these protective walls and safe heavens I guess we've always had too. I'm just scared I'm not strong enough to do this on my own.