"love flows from my veins and down my arms"
well today was a LONG day, wildfire in the morning then church. i was soo tired this morning that i could barley walk. i got really cranky when i couldnt find my grapefruit sented air freshner and threw the other one agains the wall saying this one just makes my room smell worse lol. well i have been reflecting, as i grow deeper inlove with God and his son my Lord Jesus Christ i can only stop and ask myself "why?" not why i love them, but why they love me i asked "why did you believe in me when for so long i did not believe in you" and i could hear God say "chris, you are my child. and i love you what more can i say" and thats it LOVE its amazing it blows my mind! but how can i give it back? each time i sin which is almost every moment of every day i admit im a sinner and i can be the biggest jerk if anyone has been keeping up with what i do in my LJ lol i can be rather mouthy and moody. i have since set myself up for change allowing God to take me and reshape me. watch the passion of the christ if you have not it is all summed up in one part, jesus falls with the cross his mother runs to him. in the moment all jesus can say is "see mother? i make all things new" and you cant help but fall to your knees and cry because what can you do to repay the one who gave his life for you? well i will tell you, by giving your life to him God doesnt ask for you head on a platter or for you to be nailed to a cross, jesus came and took our place. think if God never sent jesus it would be ME! on the cross, but there wouldnt have been paradice, there wouldnt have been forgiveness there would only be death. this summer i will be starting an internship with Youth For Christ. its a youth ministry organization that works with kids mostly middleschool kids. whats my computer graphics degree gonna do for me? make alot of money really fast and honestly. i dont want it, so im giving up that field and giving my life to God. i am his and he will put me where i belong, and i know why he has sent me here and i know why he loves me, but will i ever understand why he loves me... i dont know. but i am greatful for that love and i want to give it back to the one i adore more than anything in this world in this life in this earth i cant help but want to scream and shout praise to my God and king! what more joy for the one who restored sight to me, healed my limbs so that i may follow him. if only i were worthy of Gods grace. i am not worthy of it, but still he floods me with his love and affection, and i love my lord to the very end. thank you my Jesus, thank you my God!