Guilt, like raindrops, falling on my head
The boys (so prettily pictured to the left) are at the vet's today for their life-altering surgery. I feel so guilty that I can barely stand it. Bailey's aggression, however, has increased tenfold over the last week or so, and they have reached sexual maturity as of this month. I couldn't sit by and let my other doggie come to harm through my inaction. I also think the neighbors' dog is in heat, so that has compounded the problem. Also, he growled at me when dinner time was done last week. Not done.
So which weighs more? The guilt of making them go through so much pain? Or the relief of knowing I can let them have their toys back without worrying that one of them will end up at the emergency vet office? The crushing doubt that I am not a good alpha for them, or the knowledge that even I cannot combat testosterone 100% of the time? I am so afraid that there will be some complication.
At least they will have pain pills when they come home. I made sure of that.
So which weighs more? The guilt of making them go through so much pain? Or the relief of knowing I can let them have their toys back without worrying that one of them will end up at the emergency vet office? The crushing doubt that I am not a good alpha for them, or the knowledge that even I cannot combat testosterone 100% of the time? I am so afraid that there will be some complication.
At least they will have pain pills when they come home. I made sure of that.