(no subject)
"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."
I wish my words could convey how happy I've become. Normalcy has returned to me, my old spirit is back. I'm excited for life once again! My trip to visit Brian became so much more than I could have ever imagined. I met many great people, people with such a connection with God. It brought me back to feeling an excitement for life, people, and most of all love. I was met with so much love, and with that my heart felt convicted. I realized how much I let myself change, and that is no ones fault but my own. I have so many people in my life with so much good to offer but I do nothing to learn from them. I just let myself sink into terrible habits and learned nothing. That is a horrible shame. I plan to do everything in my power with the help of God to turn that around.
I prayed, I prayed so so much. I called friends and prayed with them. I've needed so much support but I've never sought it out. I even have scripture that supports that idea etched onto my body, yet I ignored. Iron sharpens Iron, I must never forget.
I've been met with anger coming back home, but that was expected. I have no desire to shut anyone out of my life. But, I cannot apologize for going back to my roots and following what I truly believe. I cannot waste time chasing friendships. If you really care about someone you stick by them. Either way, I have no hard feelings.
To you who has written me off, just remember this : you would never deny or apologize for your drug use. So, to expect someone to deny or apologize for their "social drug" is quite hypocritical. Following Jesus makes me feel good, just as drinking/drugs makes you feel good. We all should have respect for one anothers choices. It's not a one way street.
So many inner struggles and changes will be brewing within me. I will take this journey one step at a time with Gods strength.
God Bless.