Fic: Wayward Angel 8/11
Title: Wayward Angel
By: Polgara (melindoranightsilver@hotmail.com)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I own none of the recognizable characters. They belong to their respective creators and distributors. Alec Colson’s dialogue comes directly from the Stargate Episode 8.8 Covenant.
Distribution: My site - Worlds of Possibilities, ff.net, Wormhole Crossing, and TtH.
Spoilers: For Buffy everything is game, for Stargate SG-1 direct spoilers for season 8 episode 8 - Covenant - and anything before that.
Setting: Takes place several years after Chosen and starts during SG-1 episode 8.8 - Covenant.
Summary: Life is filled with moments. The decision in each of these defining times shapes who we are and who we will become. They push us forward and back, an intricate dance.
A/N: Chapter titles and lyrics at the beginning of each come from Kasey Chamber’s cd - Wayward Angel. Music was used as an inspiration for the entire piece.
A/N2: Super shout out to Ava for being my personal cheerleader through writing this. Seriously, without her, this may have never been finished.
A/N3: Much thanks goes to Copper, my wonderful beta!
This fic has already been completed. I will be posting every Sunday.
Any and all artwork linked within this fic was created by the lovely Ava.
Lost And Found
But I am still here
There's no where else to go
I am still here
There's no one else to hold
I can't fly
I'm not that strong
I am still here
And you're still gone
~Lost and Found
Buffy restlessly ran a hand through her damp hair before sitting in her usual seat at the briefing table. Sometimes these meetings felt like a complete waste of time. Especially since most of what was said went into the written report. It was one thing when the things they had to report required immediate action, it was another to report on an uneventful mission.
She slumped back in her chair as she waited for the rest of her team to arrive. It had been an excruciatingly long day. All she really wanted to do was go home and sleep for twelve hours, but here she was, obediently following the rules. Giles would be so proud.
The door behind her opened and her entire body tensed up. She hoped it wasn’t Daniel because what she wanted even less than sitting through this meeting was sitting here alone with him before the meeting. Her shoulders relaxed as she recognized Sam’s lighter steps followed by Teal’c’s nearly silent ones. She could see small evidence of Sam’s recent shower and fought back the urge to pull her own damp hair back.
An almost genuine smile was given to her teammates as they sat across from her. After nearly a month the two of them had finally stopped tiptoeing around her and Daniel. Although she still caught the worried glances they shot at both of them when they thought they weren’t looking.
At least they weren’t at each other’s throats or arguing all the time, even if sometimes she wished they were. It might be better than Daniel’s politeness. He never said one cross word to her, or from what she could tell, about her. He just said enough to not be considered rude and then pretty much ignored her. Gone was the closeness they had shared even before they had started dating. It was as if she had become a complete stranger to him.
On the base it wasn’t too bad since they each had their own duties to attend to. She did have some extra free time to fill since she no longer went to his office to read, but those hours were easily filled. Home was a little more difficult but she found that patrolling a little helped even if the vampire and demon populations were low.
It was the time off world that was causing the most problems. With just a four person team it was nearly impossible not to spend time with him. Plus, Sam kept pairing the two of them together whenever they had to split up. Whether it was based on habit or a misguided attempt to get them to work things out, she didn’t know but it was damned annoying.
Those hours spent with him were sheer torture. There was nothing to distract her and her own thoughts and body betrayed her. The cold politeness that he wore like a cloak made itself keenly felt and she couldn’t help but wish that things were different.
This enforced time sharing with an ex wasn’t something she was used to either. When Angel had broken things off with her, he had stayed long enough to stop the mayor’s ascension and then he was gone. He had physically left Sunnydale and her. The pain had been bad, but she didn’t have the daily reminder of seeing him.
Her split from Riley had nearly been identical. An ultimatum given and then airlifted out by helicopter. No muss, no fuss.
She didn’t really count the debacle with Parker since what they had shared paled in comparison to the others. And Spike was… well, that whole relationship was different from the beginning. It helped that she had been the one to break it off from him.
But seeing Daniel nearly every day and working with him was hard. Her chest constricted painfully with every reminder of what she had and lost. Sometimes it was so painful that she got urges to pack up and go back to Cleveland. To give her heart a rest and chance to heal.
As tempting as that was, though, she refused to leave. She had spent so much of her life running when things got hard that she was tired. Tired of being a coward. Of taking the easy way out.
She was nearly twenty-seven years old. It was time to stop running and face life. Millions of people had it as hard or harder than her and didn’t head for the hills at every sign of personal problems.
Facing an apocalypse was easy. Facing her heartache was hard.
What helped her stick around was the fact she actually liked her job at the SGC. She got along with most of the people on the base and enjoyed going off world. The fate of the universe didn’t rest squarely on her shoulders and people listened when she shared her concerns. Sure there were problems here and there but that was understandable in an organization that size.
That didn’t mean that things were horrible back at the Council, though. It meant that there she was still considered “The Slayer”, the head honcho. Whether they realized it or not, they looked to her to make the big decisions. They even called her in for apocalypses.
Here was better for her stress levels, even with her current Daniel issues.
“Buffy Summers, what are your plans for the evening?” Teal’c asked, interrupting her thoughts.
“I have a date with a long bubble bath followed by sleeping in late since I don’t have to work tomorrow,” she said with a sad smile. It used to be that she and Daniel would share those baths but no more. “Why do you ask?”
Sam spoke up. “I was just thinking that since the whole team had the day off that we could go out for a bite to eat and maybe a few beers - or water in your and Teal’c’s case,” she added hastily. The team had taken her aversion to most alcoholic drinks without batting an eye.
Her brow creased a little as she contemplated the offer. She enjoyed hanging out with the team but she wasn’t sure how much more time spent with Daniel in close proximity that day she could handle. The look on Sam’s face was so hopeful that she didn’t really want to crush it. “I don’t know, I’m awfully tired,” she hedged.
“We wouldn’t be out too late,” Sam assured her. “It’s just that since you and Daniel have, well, you know, things have been a little rocky with the team. I thought maybe with just some time off together we could even things out a little.”
Instantly Buffy felt guilty over damaging the team’s dynamic. She and Daniel had always known that this was a possibility but just never thought through all of the consequences. If he was willing to give the dinner a try so would she, but she didn’t want to give a definite answer until he did.
She was saved by Jack entering the room from his office. He looked around and then asked, “Where’s Daniel?”
“I’m here, Jack,” Daniel answered, stepping through the hallway door. He slid into the chair next to her, never once looking over at her.
For the next hour it felt as if Buffy had fallen into some sort of time loop that was bending reality around her. She held back a shudder as she instantly thought of the Trio’s tests for her. Each minute took an hour to pass as Daniel acted as if nothing had changed while they gave their own preliminary notes during the meeting. From a foot away she could feel the heat of his body warm the left side of her own. She wasn’t sure which would be worse, sitting next to him and seeing him out of the corner of her eye as she looked at Jack at the head of the table, or sitting across from him and being able to clearly see his face.
Instead of doing what she really wanted, which was leaving the meeting so she wouldn’t have to deal, she gritted her teeth and endured the best she could. Her part of the meeting went quickly since all she had done was sit around and listen to Daniel talk to the village elders while making sure that nothing bad happened to him.
She did her best to focus on what the others were saying in an effort to ignore Daniel, but because she already knew what little happened on their end it was difficult. Every time she glanced down to the table top she could see him lightly running his fingertips over his notepad. Her mind conjured images of lazy Sundays in bed as he performed the same action on her bare skin.
Buffy could feel her skin flushing in arousal and pulled her eyes away only to squarely meet Jack’s knowing gaze. She could feel her face getting redder, only this time out of embarrassment. The last thing she needed was for Jack to think that she couldn’t do her job.
Just when she thought she was going to go out of her mind, Jack closed the meeting. She quickly gathered up her few papers and shoved them inside her mission folder. Beside her, Daniel had already risen to her feet.
Sam gave them both a firm look and said, “O’Malley’s tonight at 7. No arguments, understood?”
Buffy blinked in surprise but before she could answer, Daniel spoke up. “Sure, Sam. I’ll see you there.”
“Yeah, sure,” Buffy said weakly.
“I’d like to see you for a few minutes in my office, Buffy,” Jack said as she pushed back from the table to stand.
She nodded and followed him into his office. Her heart thudded hard in her chest as he solemnly closed the door behind them and gestured for her to take a seat. A solemn Jack was never a good thing.
Buffy forced herself not to fidget as Jack stared at her for a long moment after he sat down behind his desk. His look was decidedly calculating and the last time she had seen a similar look was right before he enlisted her help in a prank several months ago. Only this time his eyes didn’t contain that mischievous gleam.
“How’ve you been?” He suddenly asked, nearly making her jump.
“Fine, why?”
He shrugged and tried to give her a nonchalant look. “You’ve been busy and I haven’t really had time to talk to you since the funeral,” he explained.
A guilty look fell across her features. While she hadn’t gone out of her way to avoid Jack, she had kept busy in effort to distract herself from her own misery. “I’m good, promise. Patrolling here is nearly useless but it gives me something to do.”
Jack frowned. “You know I don’t want you out there by yourself.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’ve been doing it for years, I’ll be fine.”
“You don’t know that. Could you at least give me a call before you go out and when you get home just so I know what’s going on?” He tried to bargain with her.
“I don’t think -”
“What if something did happen and you didn’t show up for work the next day? I would assume that the NID had a hand in it and start a witch hunt all the while not knowing it was a demon thing,” he pointed out.
“There you go with that making sense thing,” she pouted. “What’s up with that?”
“All part of the job. It’s right up there with taking the geek speak and making it something everyone can understand,” he said with a grin.
“An important skill to have here,” she agreed. It never ceased to amaze her how he could sit through long, tedious presentations from Sam and Daniel only to narrow it down to a concise sentence or two. And she was sure he tuned them out two minutes into it and only came back in the last few minutes.
The laughter in his eyes dimmed as he grew serious once again. “And how are things between you and Daniel?”
Her gaze dropped to her hands as she suddenly found the chipped paint on the nails of her right hand interesting. “Fine.”
“And somehow I just don’t believe you,” he said dryly. He leaned forward, resting his forearms on the wooden surface of his desk. “And how is the not talking thing you two are doing working for you?”
She looked up at him in surprise. “How did you know?”
“I’ve been on the receiving end of Daniel’s petulance before,” he said with a grimace. “I just wanted to make sure you’re doing okay.”
“Shouldn’t you worry about Daniel? He’s your friend,” she said defensively, crossing her arms over her chest.
He delicately cleared his throat. “Yes, he is, usually. But it seems that he’s not really talking to me at this time either. But you’re also under my command and I look out for my own.”
A light blush crept up her neck and she turned her head to look unseeingly at a picture on the shelf. “I’m fine, really.”
Silence fell over them for several minutes before Buffy asked, “Was there anything else or can I go?”
“Actually, there was one other thing,” he said, causing her to sigh.
She wearily looked back at him. “Then get on with it. I have to meet the team for dinner in a little while and I’d like to change before I do that.”
Jack nervously rubbed the back of his head before settling back into his leather chair. “I think that we aren’t fully utilizing your abilities here and I want to do something to fix that.”
Her lips pursed slightly as her brow crinkled in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve spoken with Carter and some of the other commanders you’ve worked with here, as well as Mr. Giles. You’re a natural leader, Buffy. Being the subordinate member of a team is wasting your talent.”
Buffy’s look turned to one of panic as her heart rate picked up. “Jack, I hate being in charge.”
“Relax,” he said holding up one hand to halt her before she could start babbling. When she calmed back down he continued, “I don’t mean making ultimate decisions. That unfortunate pleasure goes to me. I meant heading up your own SG team. You and three other people.”
She shook her head. “It’s too much responsibility. I don’t want it.”
“You asked to be placed here because you didn’t trust us to handle the alien threat,” he said in exasperation. “And now you’re refusing what is essentially a promotion because it requires taking charge?”
“True, but I’ve been here for eight months now and I can clearly see you can handle this. I don’t need to be a team leader, I’m perfectly happy on SG-1,” she said, sinking farther back into her chair.
Jack’s head tilted to the side. “Even with Daniel ignoring you?”
Buffy closed her eyes to try and keep the tears from falling. Hearing it said point blank to her hurt. She focused on keeping her breathing even until she felt herself calm enough to speak. “What about SG-1? Wouldn’t that leave them short a member?”
“Yeah, but they’ve dealt with that before. It wouldn’t be too hard for Carter to pick out a fourth member,” he said confidently.
“And this team I’d be leading, who would be on it?” She quietly asked.
His voice was gentle as he answered her. “Entirely up to you. You want another slayer here, you got it. Any particular military personnel, they’re yours. You want a geek, I’ll find you a geek. This is your team, a group you are to lead. I want to make sure that they are people you can trust out in the field and can get along with.”
With slayer ease, she pushed herself out of her chair and went to stand at his window. Looking into the empty briefing room she gave serious consideration to what Jack was offering her.
Wasn’t she just thinking about how hard it was to be on the same team as Daniel? This wouldn’t technically count as running away since he presented her with the option and it wasn’t something that would surprise most of the people on the base. While Sam was a more than capable leader, her style was radically different from her own. They never butted heads over it, but she had sometimes found herself wishing she could have made the decisions.
This would keep her at a place that made her happy, her problems with Daniel not withstanding. She wouldn’t be the one everyone was looking to take care of the problem, just the few members of her team. Members she was being allowed to hand select. The offer was very tempting.
“When do I have to make my final decision?” she asked, not turning around.
“You’ve got time. I’d be giving you SG-17 since they all had to be placed on permanent medical leave after their last mission. You’d be given missions similar to SG-1. Just remember that I need to time to choose another leader and members if you refuse to accept this offer.”
“I’ll let you know by the end of the week,” she said softly, turning to look at him with grateful eyes.
By: Polgara (melindoranightsilver@hotmail.com)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I own none of the recognizable characters. They belong to their respective creators and distributors. Alec Colson’s dialogue comes directly from the Stargate Episode 8.8 Covenant.
Distribution: My site - Worlds of Possibilities, ff.net, Wormhole Crossing, and TtH.
Spoilers: For Buffy everything is game, for Stargate SG-1 direct spoilers for season 8 episode 8 - Covenant - and anything before that.
Setting: Takes place several years after Chosen and starts during SG-1 episode 8.8 - Covenant.
Summary: Life is filled with moments. The decision in each of these defining times shapes who we are and who we will become. They push us forward and back, an intricate dance.
A/N: Chapter titles and lyrics at the beginning of each come from Kasey Chamber’s cd - Wayward Angel. Music was used as an inspiration for the entire piece.
A/N2: Super shout out to Ava for being my personal cheerleader through writing this. Seriously, without her, this may have never been finished.
A/N3: Much thanks goes to Copper, my wonderful beta!
This fic has already been completed. I will be posting every Sunday.
Any and all artwork linked within this fic was created by the lovely Ava.
Lost And Found
But I am still here
There's no where else to go
I am still here
There's no one else to hold
I can't fly
I'm not that strong
I am still here
And you're still gone
~Lost and Found
Buffy restlessly ran a hand through her damp hair before sitting in her usual seat at the briefing table. Sometimes these meetings felt like a complete waste of time. Especially since most of what was said went into the written report. It was one thing when the things they had to report required immediate action, it was another to report on an uneventful mission.
She slumped back in her chair as she waited for the rest of her team to arrive. It had been an excruciatingly long day. All she really wanted to do was go home and sleep for twelve hours, but here she was, obediently following the rules. Giles would be so proud.
The door behind her opened and her entire body tensed up. She hoped it wasn’t Daniel because what she wanted even less than sitting through this meeting was sitting here alone with him before the meeting. Her shoulders relaxed as she recognized Sam’s lighter steps followed by Teal’c’s nearly silent ones. She could see small evidence of Sam’s recent shower and fought back the urge to pull her own damp hair back.
An almost genuine smile was given to her teammates as they sat across from her. After nearly a month the two of them had finally stopped tiptoeing around her and Daniel. Although she still caught the worried glances they shot at both of them when they thought they weren’t looking.
At least they weren’t at each other’s throats or arguing all the time, even if sometimes she wished they were. It might be better than Daniel’s politeness. He never said one cross word to her, or from what she could tell, about her. He just said enough to not be considered rude and then pretty much ignored her. Gone was the closeness they had shared even before they had started dating. It was as if she had become a complete stranger to him.
On the base it wasn’t too bad since they each had their own duties to attend to. She did have some extra free time to fill since she no longer went to his office to read, but those hours were easily filled. Home was a little more difficult but she found that patrolling a little helped even if the vampire and demon populations were low.
It was the time off world that was causing the most problems. With just a four person team it was nearly impossible not to spend time with him. Plus, Sam kept pairing the two of them together whenever they had to split up. Whether it was based on habit or a misguided attempt to get them to work things out, she didn’t know but it was damned annoying.
Those hours spent with him were sheer torture. There was nothing to distract her and her own thoughts and body betrayed her. The cold politeness that he wore like a cloak made itself keenly felt and she couldn’t help but wish that things were different.
This enforced time sharing with an ex wasn’t something she was used to either. When Angel had broken things off with her, he had stayed long enough to stop the mayor’s ascension and then he was gone. He had physically left Sunnydale and her. The pain had been bad, but she didn’t have the daily reminder of seeing him.
Her split from Riley had nearly been identical. An ultimatum given and then airlifted out by helicopter. No muss, no fuss.
She didn’t really count the debacle with Parker since what they had shared paled in comparison to the others. And Spike was… well, that whole relationship was different from the beginning. It helped that she had been the one to break it off from him.
But seeing Daniel nearly every day and working with him was hard. Her chest constricted painfully with every reminder of what she had and lost. Sometimes it was so painful that she got urges to pack up and go back to Cleveland. To give her heart a rest and chance to heal.
As tempting as that was, though, she refused to leave. She had spent so much of her life running when things got hard that she was tired. Tired of being a coward. Of taking the easy way out.
She was nearly twenty-seven years old. It was time to stop running and face life. Millions of people had it as hard or harder than her and didn’t head for the hills at every sign of personal problems.
Facing an apocalypse was easy. Facing her heartache was hard.
What helped her stick around was the fact she actually liked her job at the SGC. She got along with most of the people on the base and enjoyed going off world. The fate of the universe didn’t rest squarely on her shoulders and people listened when she shared her concerns. Sure there were problems here and there but that was understandable in an organization that size.
That didn’t mean that things were horrible back at the Council, though. It meant that there she was still considered “The Slayer”, the head honcho. Whether they realized it or not, they looked to her to make the big decisions. They even called her in for apocalypses.
Here was better for her stress levels, even with her current Daniel issues.
“Buffy Summers, what are your plans for the evening?” Teal’c asked, interrupting her thoughts.
“I have a date with a long bubble bath followed by sleeping in late since I don’t have to work tomorrow,” she said with a sad smile. It used to be that she and Daniel would share those baths but no more. “Why do you ask?”
Sam spoke up. “I was just thinking that since the whole team had the day off that we could go out for a bite to eat and maybe a few beers - or water in your and Teal’c’s case,” she added hastily. The team had taken her aversion to most alcoholic drinks without batting an eye.
Her brow creased a little as she contemplated the offer. She enjoyed hanging out with the team but she wasn’t sure how much more time spent with Daniel in close proximity that day she could handle. The look on Sam’s face was so hopeful that she didn’t really want to crush it. “I don’t know, I’m awfully tired,” she hedged.
“We wouldn’t be out too late,” Sam assured her. “It’s just that since you and Daniel have, well, you know, things have been a little rocky with the team. I thought maybe with just some time off together we could even things out a little.”
Instantly Buffy felt guilty over damaging the team’s dynamic. She and Daniel had always known that this was a possibility but just never thought through all of the consequences. If he was willing to give the dinner a try so would she, but she didn’t want to give a definite answer until he did.
She was saved by Jack entering the room from his office. He looked around and then asked, “Where’s Daniel?”
“I’m here, Jack,” Daniel answered, stepping through the hallway door. He slid into the chair next to her, never once looking over at her.
For the next hour it felt as if Buffy had fallen into some sort of time loop that was bending reality around her. She held back a shudder as she instantly thought of the Trio’s tests for her. Each minute took an hour to pass as Daniel acted as if nothing had changed while they gave their own preliminary notes during the meeting. From a foot away she could feel the heat of his body warm the left side of her own. She wasn’t sure which would be worse, sitting next to him and seeing him out of the corner of her eye as she looked at Jack at the head of the table, or sitting across from him and being able to clearly see his face.
Instead of doing what she really wanted, which was leaving the meeting so she wouldn’t have to deal, she gritted her teeth and endured the best she could. Her part of the meeting went quickly since all she had done was sit around and listen to Daniel talk to the village elders while making sure that nothing bad happened to him.
She did her best to focus on what the others were saying in an effort to ignore Daniel, but because she already knew what little happened on their end it was difficult. Every time she glanced down to the table top she could see him lightly running his fingertips over his notepad. Her mind conjured images of lazy Sundays in bed as he performed the same action on her bare skin.
Buffy could feel her skin flushing in arousal and pulled her eyes away only to squarely meet Jack’s knowing gaze. She could feel her face getting redder, only this time out of embarrassment. The last thing she needed was for Jack to think that she couldn’t do her job.
Just when she thought she was going to go out of her mind, Jack closed the meeting. She quickly gathered up her few papers and shoved them inside her mission folder. Beside her, Daniel had already risen to her feet.
Sam gave them both a firm look and said, “O’Malley’s tonight at 7. No arguments, understood?”
Buffy blinked in surprise but before she could answer, Daniel spoke up. “Sure, Sam. I’ll see you there.”
“Yeah, sure,” Buffy said weakly.
“I’d like to see you for a few minutes in my office, Buffy,” Jack said as she pushed back from the table to stand.
She nodded and followed him into his office. Her heart thudded hard in her chest as he solemnly closed the door behind them and gestured for her to take a seat. A solemn Jack was never a good thing.
Buffy forced herself not to fidget as Jack stared at her for a long moment after he sat down behind his desk. His look was decidedly calculating and the last time she had seen a similar look was right before he enlisted her help in a prank several months ago. Only this time his eyes didn’t contain that mischievous gleam.
“How’ve you been?” He suddenly asked, nearly making her jump.
“Fine, why?”
He shrugged and tried to give her a nonchalant look. “You’ve been busy and I haven’t really had time to talk to you since the funeral,” he explained.
A guilty look fell across her features. While she hadn’t gone out of her way to avoid Jack, she had kept busy in effort to distract herself from her own misery. “I’m good, promise. Patrolling here is nearly useless but it gives me something to do.”
Jack frowned. “You know I don’t want you out there by yourself.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’ve been doing it for years, I’ll be fine.”
“You don’t know that. Could you at least give me a call before you go out and when you get home just so I know what’s going on?” He tried to bargain with her.
“I don’t think -”
“What if something did happen and you didn’t show up for work the next day? I would assume that the NID had a hand in it and start a witch hunt all the while not knowing it was a demon thing,” he pointed out.
“There you go with that making sense thing,” she pouted. “What’s up with that?”
“All part of the job. It’s right up there with taking the geek speak and making it something everyone can understand,” he said with a grin.
“An important skill to have here,” she agreed. It never ceased to amaze her how he could sit through long, tedious presentations from Sam and Daniel only to narrow it down to a concise sentence or two. And she was sure he tuned them out two minutes into it and only came back in the last few minutes.
The laughter in his eyes dimmed as he grew serious once again. “And how are things between you and Daniel?”
Her gaze dropped to her hands as she suddenly found the chipped paint on the nails of her right hand interesting. “Fine.”
“And somehow I just don’t believe you,” he said dryly. He leaned forward, resting his forearms on the wooden surface of his desk. “And how is the not talking thing you two are doing working for you?”
She looked up at him in surprise. “How did you know?”
“I’ve been on the receiving end of Daniel’s petulance before,” he said with a grimace. “I just wanted to make sure you’re doing okay.”
“Shouldn’t you worry about Daniel? He’s your friend,” she said defensively, crossing her arms over her chest.
He delicately cleared his throat. “Yes, he is, usually. But it seems that he’s not really talking to me at this time either. But you’re also under my command and I look out for my own.”
A light blush crept up her neck and she turned her head to look unseeingly at a picture on the shelf. “I’m fine, really.”
Silence fell over them for several minutes before Buffy asked, “Was there anything else or can I go?”
“Actually, there was one other thing,” he said, causing her to sigh.
She wearily looked back at him. “Then get on with it. I have to meet the team for dinner in a little while and I’d like to change before I do that.”
Jack nervously rubbed the back of his head before settling back into his leather chair. “I think that we aren’t fully utilizing your abilities here and I want to do something to fix that.”
Her lips pursed slightly as her brow crinkled in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve spoken with Carter and some of the other commanders you’ve worked with here, as well as Mr. Giles. You’re a natural leader, Buffy. Being the subordinate member of a team is wasting your talent.”
Buffy’s look turned to one of panic as her heart rate picked up. “Jack, I hate being in charge.”
“Relax,” he said holding up one hand to halt her before she could start babbling. When she calmed back down he continued, “I don’t mean making ultimate decisions. That unfortunate pleasure goes to me. I meant heading up your own SG team. You and three other people.”
She shook her head. “It’s too much responsibility. I don’t want it.”
“You asked to be placed here because you didn’t trust us to handle the alien threat,” he said in exasperation. “And now you’re refusing what is essentially a promotion because it requires taking charge?”
“True, but I’ve been here for eight months now and I can clearly see you can handle this. I don’t need to be a team leader, I’m perfectly happy on SG-1,” she said, sinking farther back into her chair.
Jack’s head tilted to the side. “Even with Daniel ignoring you?”
Buffy closed her eyes to try and keep the tears from falling. Hearing it said point blank to her hurt. She focused on keeping her breathing even until she felt herself calm enough to speak. “What about SG-1? Wouldn’t that leave them short a member?”
“Yeah, but they’ve dealt with that before. It wouldn’t be too hard for Carter to pick out a fourth member,” he said confidently.
“And this team I’d be leading, who would be on it?” She quietly asked.
His voice was gentle as he answered her. “Entirely up to you. You want another slayer here, you got it. Any particular military personnel, they’re yours. You want a geek, I’ll find you a geek. This is your team, a group you are to lead. I want to make sure that they are people you can trust out in the field and can get along with.”
With slayer ease, she pushed herself out of her chair and went to stand at his window. Looking into the empty briefing room she gave serious consideration to what Jack was offering her.
Wasn’t she just thinking about how hard it was to be on the same team as Daniel? This wouldn’t technically count as running away since he presented her with the option and it wasn’t something that would surprise most of the people on the base. While Sam was a more than capable leader, her style was radically different from her own. They never butted heads over it, but she had sometimes found herself wishing she could have made the decisions.
This would keep her at a place that made her happy, her problems with Daniel not withstanding. She wouldn’t be the one everyone was looking to take care of the problem, just the few members of her team. Members she was being allowed to hand select. The offer was very tempting.
“When do I have to make my final decision?” she asked, not turning around.
“You’ve got time. I’d be giving you SG-17 since they all had to be placed on permanent medical leave after their last mission. You’d be given missions similar to SG-1. Just remember that I need to time to choose another leader and members if you refuse to accept this offer.”
“I’ll let you know by the end of the week,” she said softly, turning to look at him with grateful eyes.