(no subject)
You know what else is sad about college. I have to come to terms with the fact that I am not extraordinary, and I have to make a future for myself with that realization. I think that is what my new piano teacher really does for me and that is why I hate her so much. She doesn't care about trying to make me feel extraordinary, or even remotely talented. I know I'm not brilliant, but in my mind I would still pretend to be, especially when I was playing piano. If I could have one wish it would be to be the best pianist ever. The best composer, best player, best sight-reader, best at classical, jazz, every genre.
It has always been easier for me to convince myself that the only reason I am not the best, that I did not get the best grade on a test is because I didn't study, I'm lazy, it isn't because I'm not actually the best, because I'm not actually brilliant. Does anyone ever truly believe they are mediocre? Are we all lying to ourselves? But it's ok because mediocre people can still do extraordinary things. There is hope for me yet,
love,
Lizzie
p.s. I did not go to class at all today
It has always been easier for me to convince myself that the only reason I am not the best, that I did not get the best grade on a test is because I didn't study, I'm lazy, it isn't because I'm not actually the best, because I'm not actually brilliant. Does anyone ever truly believe they are mediocre? Are we all lying to ourselves? But it's ok because mediocre people can still do extraordinary things. There is hope for me yet,
love,
Lizzie
p.s. I did not go to class at all today