liberation, sadness, letgo
I removed trista from my friends lists and contacts. I sent her an email saying that there was no reason to continue contact pretending we are friends, because we aren't. I don't know that I can actually be friends with any ex's. Erin is kind of an exception, I don't know why that it is, but it seems to be fine.
I've been spending some good time with Amanda, the newness is wearing off. Now it's time to figure out if this is a good relationship for me.
I've been in a funk lately. Maybe it's the reprecussion from being up soo much.
i disabled my dating accounts for now.
no real reason to be seeing someone and keep them operable. I wonder when she will notice and say something. she still has hers though.
i've had some rough times lately. i miss ara. i miss our old times, part of me misses smoking with him because I guess that made me feel young, part of me thinks that was our huge connection. it feels like there isn't much connection left. tough to admit but it is. then again I feel like I push people away.
I don't know.
In some sense, it feels good to get things out, shut some doors. Regain some focus.
knee is healing slowly, it's been a month since surgery and it's doing really well, despite knee pains during exercise - go figure. I'm sure just doing more exercise will strengthen it up and make it feel better. tough for now, but i'll get through it.
wore my first pair of cowboy boots today. I liked it. something about it makes me feel good, makes me feel country. I like that.
well i should go to bed. after I drink some water to replenish from drinking slowly tonight. no real buzz, kind of seems pointless to a degree.
goodnight self.
I've been spending some good time with Amanda, the newness is wearing off. Now it's time to figure out if this is a good relationship for me.
I've been in a funk lately. Maybe it's the reprecussion from being up soo much.
i disabled my dating accounts for now.
no real reason to be seeing someone and keep them operable. I wonder when she will notice and say something. she still has hers though.
i've had some rough times lately. i miss ara. i miss our old times, part of me misses smoking with him because I guess that made me feel young, part of me thinks that was our huge connection. it feels like there isn't much connection left. tough to admit but it is. then again I feel like I push people away.
I don't know.
In some sense, it feels good to get things out, shut some doors. Regain some focus.
knee is healing slowly, it's been a month since surgery and it's doing really well, despite knee pains during exercise - go figure. I'm sure just doing more exercise will strengthen it up and make it feel better. tough for now, but i'll get through it.
wore my first pair of cowboy boots today. I liked it. something about it makes me feel good, makes me feel country. I like that.
well i should go to bed. after I drink some water to replenish from drinking slowly tonight. no real buzz, kind of seems pointless to a degree.
goodnight self.