update 2013
I must relinquish control to the short term destiny I have provided myself. A grave dug shallow but yet I lay comfortably, knowing that it would not be a quick death should I nap. I realize, that i must continue this effort of working in order to gain but just a mere footing to reach the next hold.
unfortunate that i may be that this is the life that I have created. It would seem that hard work is all that is tangible in order to leverage myself. i coin the phrase that big changes require big changes.
I will soon be thirty. 30.
terrible year if you ask me, but I do understand it is but the transitional year. It could be the 'oh fuck' year, or it could be the I see you coming and i'm going to knee you in the nuts year, leap frog your ass and kick you in the butt on the way out. which the latter i pretend to be nonfiction.
aggressive
debt
reduction
plan
the pressure builds and the volcano begins its rumble measurable be scientificy device nothing but a weeeedgee board to sense the unbeknownst to rapture life surrounding. that shackles forged in the pits of sin i begin my incline ascent to the summit of destruction where clarity meets the horizon and even zueses lightnign bolts deflect off ,my furrowed eyebrow of anger. i have crested the challenge and realize that i am uncontainable with these earthly constraints. the gaze of depth deceipts my ability and presents a falsy measure of accuracy. immeasurable my strength I posses that contends my daily ritual of personal contemptment. struggle with this as i breathe each breath to quantify my existant. oh but a mere man i submit proof with each slice i take and taste the irons both man made validate each swipe. this is today and tomorrow has set,like the sun it returns to to singe a previous burn.
I fail myself in order to suffer. ghandi would deny himself almost with arrogance of the challenge to suffer which was possible because the challenge he accepted posed cannabilisticly and self righteous. i subject myself to the working mans struggle. the game, the gamble, the life, we all live. i take bite and sink my teeth deeply, bleed all over myself because it is me. i cant begin to grasp the context of this but my life is but a painting of layers deep.
sickening the struggle that my friends suffer
if i could give up what i have, knowing that they'd be happier
a sooner man i'd die and watch their cry knowing
peace beyond the horizon springs eternal summer blazing love
but it is winter that crushes the summer glory
deminishes hope with its early sunset and tempered warmth
i too have these quandries
these blasphmetic moments of pain
this is the life that I should submit myself too
but i am just human
this is the pain
i know where it comes from
i sleep with it daily
and it wakes when i do
to kill the pain would be to erase the hope for one in the same the game does deal
greg, this shit is out of control. the writing is there but the author isnt. amazing what happens when you let go and pulse out. bleed your heart out because if it isnt worth dying for then it isnt worth living for.
unfortunate that i may be that this is the life that I have created. It would seem that hard work is all that is tangible in order to leverage myself. i coin the phrase that big changes require big changes.
I will soon be thirty. 30.
terrible year if you ask me, but I do understand it is but the transitional year. It could be the 'oh fuck' year, or it could be the I see you coming and i'm going to knee you in the nuts year, leap frog your ass and kick you in the butt on the way out. which the latter i pretend to be nonfiction.
aggressive
debt
reduction
plan
the pressure builds and the volcano begins its rumble measurable be scientificy device nothing but a weeeedgee board to sense the unbeknownst to rapture life surrounding. that shackles forged in the pits of sin i begin my incline ascent to the summit of destruction where clarity meets the horizon and even zueses lightnign bolts deflect off ,my furrowed eyebrow of anger. i have crested the challenge and realize that i am uncontainable with these earthly constraints. the gaze of depth deceipts my ability and presents a falsy measure of accuracy. immeasurable my strength I posses that contends my daily ritual of personal contemptment. struggle with this as i breathe each breath to quantify my existant. oh but a mere man i submit proof with each slice i take and taste the irons both man made validate each swipe. this is today and tomorrow has set,like the sun it returns to to singe a previous burn.
I fail myself in order to suffer. ghandi would deny himself almost with arrogance of the challenge to suffer which was possible because the challenge he accepted posed cannabilisticly and self righteous. i subject myself to the working mans struggle. the game, the gamble, the life, we all live. i take bite and sink my teeth deeply, bleed all over myself because it is me. i cant begin to grasp the context of this but my life is but a painting of layers deep.
sickening the struggle that my friends suffer
if i could give up what i have, knowing that they'd be happier
a sooner man i'd die and watch their cry knowing
peace beyond the horizon springs eternal summer blazing love
but it is winter that crushes the summer glory
deminishes hope with its early sunset and tempered warmth
i too have these quandries
these blasphmetic moments of pain
this is the life that I should submit myself too
but i am just human
this is the pain
i know where it comes from
i sleep with it daily
and it wakes when i do
to kill the pain would be to erase the hope for one in the same the game does deal
greg, this shit is out of control. the writing is there but the author isnt. amazing what happens when you let go and pulse out. bleed your heart out because if it isnt worth dying for then it isnt worth living for.