Madness

[polarisenvy]

have you ever gone mad
truly mad
not just sort of
the sort of madness
when you feel
unreal
like everything about you
is suddenly synthetic
and other people
have to remind you
you exist
because you don't have the strength
to tell yourself
maybe because
you don't want to
the kind of madness
where your father
haunts your dreams
to the point
where you wake up in tears
and you have to drug yourself
just to sleep again
the kind of madness
that makes you sleep
until the day is over
so you don't have to
deal with the day
the kind of madness
that makes you you want to be alone
but not alone at the same time
the kind of madness
that makes everything terrifying
shadows creep over you
and you feel like
they'll take you
you don't know where
and for a moment
you don't mind
you want them to
take you
anywhere but where you are