Growl
Lately my email box is filled with rants by supposed conservatives who go on and on and on about not wanting candidates on the Republican ticket who "believe in" evolution (that's "believe that, jerk, as in "I believe that's how you get that to work," not "I worship") or don't give forth regularly with rants against birth control in any form, etc. etc. etc. They really don't care about winning against Obama; they just want a driven-snow-pure lineup of candidates on the ticket come November. Fiscal and political conservatism doesn't mean a damn to them, only social (i.e., religious) conservatism, which for them seems to be all about controlling the thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and ideas that people entertain.
Keep it up, you bastards, and Obama is guaranteed to be re-elected. There are plenty of people out there who would be happy to vote against him if y'all didn't keep lambasting them about evolution, women's rights, and dozens of other issues that are going to be used to keep Obama from losing his office. And if that happens -- and increasingly it looks as if that will be the case -- I will personally come track you down and . . . I mean, y'all already think I'm a sorcerer, so watch out! The night has ten thousand eyes, not to mention camcorders and smartphones, and all the delicious things you're doing you thought nobody would know about except that beautiful woman/man/whatever you're balling will end up all over YouTube, damn you! Everyone who doesn't match your "pure voter" index in every single damn regard will end up voting for Obama in sheer disgust, and I won't blame them! You've already made it abundantly clear that you think they're all witches and sorcerers, the minions of the Beast 666, absolute bounders who will stoop to anything, however vile, just because you don't personally approve of it. Well take your neurotic, terrified little minds out of here, you bastards -- we don't need you to hex the chances of finally getting rid of Obama!
Keep it up, you bastards, and Obama is guaranteed to be re-elected. There are plenty of people out there who would be happy to vote against him if y'all didn't keep lambasting them about evolution, women's rights, and dozens of other issues that are going to be used to keep Obama from losing his office. And if that happens -- and increasingly it looks as if that will be the case -- I will personally come track you down and . . . I mean, y'all already think I'm a sorcerer, so watch out! The night has ten thousand eyes, not to mention camcorders and smartphones, and all the delicious things you're doing you thought nobody would know about except that beautiful woman/man/whatever you're balling will end up all over YouTube, damn you! Everyone who doesn't match your "pure voter" index in every single damn regard will end up voting for Obama in sheer disgust, and I won't blame them! You've already made it abundantly clear that you think they're all witches and sorcerers, the minions of the Beast 666, absolute bounders who will stoop to anything, however vile, just because you don't personally approve of it. Well take your neurotic, terrified little minds out of here, you bastards -- we don't need you to hex the chances of finally getting rid of Obama!