Motherhood Moments: Love Means Having to Say You're Sorry - ParentDish

[polaris93]

I loved how [my mother] looked. I loved how she smelled. I loved how she read. I loved how she refused to cook, telling my brother once, when he complained of a variation on Campbell's tomato soup, "You know, the first thing you need for pot roast is another mother." I loved how she adored me and absolutely believed I would be a sensation. What I

Comments

[rosebranch]

"And even that, while not OK, would have been bearable, if she had ever, ever once, even once, said that she was sorry."

Totally different background, but this sums up my relationship with my mother fairly closely. :/

[polaris93]

Same here, on both counts -- not only with my adoptive mother, but both foster mothers, as well. I thank God frequently that my biological mother decided to give me up, for whatever reason -- she would have been at least as nasty toward me as those three.

The condition in which someone absolutely refuses ever to acknowledge to anyone that they not only are capable of doing things that are less than good, but have done them frequently, is known as malignant narcissism. It perfectly characterizes such women, and God help any children they might raise.

[rosebranch]

God, therapy, and my own personal determination to make the best of this life and to always be moving forward. I'll have to remember the phrase "malignant narcissism", it fits well. Sorry you too know it personally.

[polaris93]

If you'd like to do some research on it, here's the link to pages on my blog that go into that, and have links to other resources: http://polaris93.livejournal.com/tag/malignant%20narcissism