[Fanfiction] Snowy Wish (2/2)
Title: Snowy Wish (2/2)
Author: polari-s
Pairing: Yewook, Kyumin, one-sided!Kyuwook
Rating: PG13
Genre: drama, romance, sort of heaven and death thing
Summary: "What place is this?" Ryeowook asked confused while looking to the wild sea in front of him colored with the sun's pink and orange rays, a sea which he had never seen on his life. And he feared, he feared he had left his friends somewhere where he didn't belong to anymore.
AN: this fic was based on the movie called 'the lovely bones', my favorite after confessions ♥
previous
With the sunrise rays touching his soft cheek, Sungmin woke up feeling already tired. When his mind was finally awake, he asked himself why he was on his bed if he didn't remember going to sleep either. But as fast as a bomb exploding, he remembered what had happened and ran to Ryeowook's bedroom, right in front of his. The bed looked untouched, but he heard a noise coming from the kitchen and he ran there, a smile planted on his face, his mind already forming words to tell Ryeowook about his nightmare.
However, when Sungmin finally got in the kitchen, it wasn't Ryeowook who he saw, it wasn't Ryeowook frying bacons and eggs. It was Kyuhyun.
"I hope you don't mind." Kyuhyun said when he noticed Sungmin was standing there looking at him. "I thought you would be hungry and needed some energy."
"Thank you." Sungmin said in a small voice sitting before his legs felt numb.
"Here you have bacons." Kyuhyun said forcing a smile while putting a full plate in front of Sungmin.
"I don't feel like eating, sorry."
"Hm. I knew you would be like this, so I made some calls too." Kyuhyun started sitting in front of Sungmin taking the man's attention. "My dad deals with funerals and I asked him to do this for Ryeowook. And I really hope you don't mind, but I schedule it to be at Sanchul Chapel at 6pm. You can call how many people you..."
"There is no need for this." Sungmin cut him off, yet still with a soft voice, small tears forming on his eyes.
"Of course it is. He deserves a proper funeral." Kyuhyun answered as sweet, his hand reaching for Sungmin's and touching it slightly.
"I mean it because there is only one person who wants to say a proper goodbye to him." and so tears started to roll on Sungmin's cheeks.
"I want to say a proper goodbye too." Kyuhyun whispered and clenched his hand around Sungmin's one last time before getting up. "I'll be there too."
What would you do after your dearest friend died? Sungmin didn't have an answer for this until some hours ago. He learned that the first thing you do is to suffer, to cry as much as you can, and even if you put back the idea of your friend not being there anymore, the concrete fact that he IS gone will come back as soon as possible crashing down your heart and sinking it to a place you thought it belonged to your stomach. And so you don't eat, you wouldn't even breathe if that command wasn't printed on your brain. Through the morning Kyuhyun was still inside -now only his- apartment, Sungmin held his tears as much as he could, but when he left, that emptiness filled him once again taking room on his body and trowing the tears away. But when the sky started to get pink, Sungmin knew that tears wouldn't do nothing much and his sobs finished, however, he couldn't stop some tears falling slowly from his eyes while he got ready to go to the chapel Kyuhyun had mentioned before.
At the moment Sungmin entered in the small and empty chapel, the sky above his head was already purple, but seeing through a window he could see the sun hiding itself in the horizon leaving behind pink and orange colors painting the sky. It didn't match with Ryeowook though. If, at a moment when Ryeowook was definitely leaving, then the sun should match with the happiness that once shone bright on his face. But maybe the sky was remembering Sungmin how much trouble Ryeowook had passed, since leaving his parents' house after them refusing to believe their son wasn't going to marry to a girl to end up in front of Sungmin's small apartment, trying to find someone known to give him some support. And support Sungmin gave.
Even though with this problem and working in the morning, studying in the afternoon and later having more work, Ryeowook allowed himself to fall in love with the new student at his piano class. Kyuhyun had cute and big cheeks that inflated when he laughed, full lips which Ryeowook could kill to have his owns on it, round and brown eyes who he had wished were turned only for him and white skin that looked so soft and he wanted to give a try; Sungmin heard every day about this Kyuhyun and he was really happy that, four days before that chapel night, Kyuhyun had accepted on having dinner with Ryeowook even though they never really talked with each other that much.
A dinner Ryeowook never had.
"We could start it." a man, probably on his middle sixties and also Kyuhyun's dad, just because his voice was as soft as the young one, was standing behind a dark brown coffin and Sungmin's heart sank some more centimeters, just stopping when he heard Kyuhyun's comforting voice behind him.
"I hope he can be fine by now."
"How can he?" Sungmin asked, his voice cracking while he gave some more steps closer to the coffin and he hated how someone was capable of leaving some purple marks and cuts on those high cheekbones, now not that clear behind the make-up, or how they were brave enough to take all the life away from Ryeowook leaving behind only white skin and dead flesh.
"If you find your peace." Kyuhyun started saying touching Sungmin's shoulder, this one leaving more and more tears to wet his cheeks. "He might find his own too."
~~
"Does he not want me?" Ryeowook asked out loud.
Now he was sitting in a big rock with all the endless sea in front of him, yet his feet away from the salty drops coming from the waves and his face being greeted by the wind taking all his hair back letting his skin shine with the sun. Ryeowook didn't ask to no one in special, but he knew Yesung was there somewhere and as he thought, the other joined him above the rock and sat beside him.
"Who?"
"Sungmin. He told me goodbye, I was there." he said with his eyes fixed on a big wave that got a rock below them to get completely wet and have some seaweed glued on it. "Maybe I was just a burden for him."
"If so why would he be there to cry over your body? He really liked you." Yesung responded, his index finger playing with the rock's irregular surface.
"Only for him. I was, for sure, a burden to my parents. If they ever hear the news about my dead they might throw a party."
"Hey. Stop it." Yesung said in a low tone putting his hand on Ryeowook's shoulder making this one to look at him, his hair hiding his eyes while the wind still kept blowing. "They just failed hard on it. But they must love you. Besides, Kyuhyun was there too."
"Kyuhyun doesn't know me that much, but... you were at the chapel too?" Ryeowook asked surprised.
"Well, I don't keep on looking at Siwon all time long. It's boring sometimes." he gave a small laugh and took his hand away from Ryeowook looking to the sea. "You see, you don't actually have to create a place all the time, you can just go to places where you haven't before."
"At least here, I have everything I could ever think of." Ryeowook smiled, took his eyes away from Yesung and stood up giving some steps back. "Having your imagination into reality is better than doing your dreams half real." and started to run until he reached the edge of the rock and gave a big jump.
For one moment Yesung was going to scream at him, remember the man that pain was still pain there, but then he laughed when he noticed Ryeowook was no longer jumping to a wild sea, but to a big trampoline surrounded with a calm chocolate sea.
"You are crazy!" Yesung screamed while Ryeowook kept on jumping on the trampoline. "At least put something real on here!"
"Hyung! Where is the place you visited the most after being here?" Ryeowook screamed stopping jumping.
"Paris!" Yesung screamed without thinking twice and he felt the urge of jumping to the trampoline together with Ryeowook when he saw the Eifel Tower appearing from beneath the sea and standing there, covered with chocolate, right beside Ryeowook.
"There is your reality." he smiled, a kind and genuine smile making his cheekbones go even higher and Yesung asked himself how Kyuhyun was able to not be in love with that man.
~~
In their world, the days would pass just like the real ones, but if they choose to not care about the hours, 4 months could look only like 5 days and that's when Ryeowook noticed how much he had missed being around Sungmin and doing real things, besides, sometimes Yesung was hard to find and he would spend hours creating places where he could have some fun -alone.
The last time Ryeowook had seen Yesung was when he was following Sungmin on his way to college. He wasn't having problems to not touch people once that it was morning, but he was feeling a urge to touch Sungmin, to shake the man and tell him he was there! However, when he was about to touch him, he saw Yesung following them in the other side of the street. Yesung gave a sad smile to them as they entered in a café and Ryeowook was slightly surprised to see Kyuhyun sitting in one of the tables of the place.
"Always the same spot." Sungmin smiled shyly and walked to Kyuhyun sitting in front of him.
"I can't have another sit." Kyuhyun said back stopping writing in some music sheets to take a sip of his coffee. "How is your week?"
"If you think that terrible jokes told by horrible teachers isn't a bad thing, then I am ok." Sungmin smiled.
Ryeowook didn't have any troubles of not touching someone as the place was kind of empty too, so he sat on a table beside them and didn't even notice Yesung sitting in front of him.
"What about yours?"
"The same thing." Kyuhyun smiled making Ryeowook to feel his heart beat faster just like it used to do whether he had seen Kyuhyun smiling like that. However, that smile blew away being replaced by a worried expression. "Actually I wanted to talk about something with you."
"Something that you couldn't have said yesterday?"
"No phones. It's actually because I've been thinking about what a girl had told me at my class."
"And what did she say?" Sungmin asked feeling himself worried already.
"She asked me if I knew what had happened with Ryeowook." he stated looking at a distant point through the blurry window.
"What do you mean?" Sungmin asked feeling an emptiness filling his heart.
"She asked to me if I had seen him around and it got me thinking how someone could only notice he is gone four months after he left." Kyuhyun said looking at his sheets while taking another sip of his coffee.
"She wasn't luck enough to have known him." Sungmin smiled a little bit following Kyuhyun's eyes and resting on the music sheets making him remember how Ryeowook used to love music and how much he had fought to enter that college where Kyuhyun was still attending to.
"Like me?"
"At least you were willing to know him." Sungmin answered looking up to Kyuhyun's face, their eyes meeting each other. And at that moment Ryeowook felt something on his heart, but he didn't know what it was exactly, just that it was burning up to his throat. "But you shouldn't think too much about it. At least Ryeowook was happy enough when he... you know... while thinking he would have a date with you." Sungmin said, his voice cracking up a little bit.
"I'm sorry for bringing this up." Kyuhyun apologized looking at Sungmin and seeing how tense he was.
"It's ok." Sungmin said, his hands playing with the hem of his sleeves.
"Hm. Are you going to do something tonight?" Kyuhyun asked already putting his music sheets inside of his bag.
"I just want to stay home." Sungmin answered getting up while Kyuhyun put some money on the table.
"Good. Can I pass by too?" and they started walking to the door.
"Sure. We could watch..." were the last things Ryeowook heard from Sungmin before the café's door closed.
"Do you think they are..." Ryeowook started looking up to Yesung.
"Not yet." Yesung said and stood up.
"What do you mean yet?" Ryeowook asked not moving.
"Ryeowook, even if they are really together, you shouldn't care much anymore."
"But this is my life. They are the only ones who I care..."
"Ryeowook." Yesung cut the man off. "This was your life. I might not have left yet, but at least from the very start I knew I would never belong to this anymore." and Yesung left the place leaving Ryeowook alone at the café.
By then everyone on the café disappeared and a thin rain started to fall inside the place getting Ryeowook wet. The lights started blinking and Ryeowook sank in the chair feeling a heavy pressure on his chest. He felt like screaming 'till his lunges would start to hurt, but he also felt like puking and crying and then he felt like wishing a simple hug, on having someone with him while he felt so scared and so lonely.
And there was still that feeling when he saw Kyuhyun and Sungmin so fine together. He felt happy by seeing that Sungmin was a little bit better, but he was the one who wanted to have Kyuhyun. He was the one who wished to pass a night with Kyuhyun, to pass his life with Kyuhyun. So the rain stopped as a small smile spread on Ryeowook's lips. He could enjoy being around them yet, right?
Then Ryeowook saw himself in Sungmin's apartment again. The place was just like he remembered and he wondered if his bedroom was still the same too, his table with some of his music sheets, his bed with the cotton blue blanket he loved so much and the walls filled with a few places he had visited and some he still had wanted to visit, but before thinking more about it, his eyes and thoughts followed the moves on the couch.
It was late at night already and the TV was playing a movie that Ryeowook has never seen before, but he sure knew the men on the couch. Kyuhyun was sitting on a side and Sungmin's body was laying on the couch with his head on the other's lap. Kyuhyun's hand was resting on Sungmin's shoulder and suddenly Ryeowook felt jealous of that touch. Walking closer to the couple, Ryeowook noticed Sungmin was crying on Kyuhyun's lap.
"Sungmin?" Kyuhyun called also noticing that Sungmin's body was shaking under his touch while he kept repressing the sobs.
Sungmin, instead of answering, just buried his face on Kyuhyun's thighs.
"I can't believe you are crying because of this movie!" Kyuhyun mocked pulling Sungmin so he was now sitting, but still trying to hide his wet face.
"But it's a sad movie." his voice came muffled by his hands.
"And just a movie." Kyuhyun laughed getting closer to Sungmin and trying to look at his face. "It's just about a dog."
"Kyuhyun!" Sungmin shouted and playfully hit Kyuhyun on his arm.
"Don't cry." Kyuhyun smiled and once again Ryeowook felt jealous that he was giving that gorgeous smile to Sungmin instead of him and, before he knew, Kyuhyun jumped above Sungmin, each leg on each side of his hips, and started to tickle him making Sungmin's laugh and pleads for him to stop fill the apartment.
Ryeowook gave a sad smile at them wishing he could at least laugh that hard again and really feel like dying of laughter. Then Ryeowook walked to the couch and knelt in front of the two of them, both still laughing and moving without knowing -nor imagining- that Ryeowook was there wishing his life back. But trying to get away from Kyuhyun, Sungmin stretched his arm and ended up reaching Ryeowook's shoulder and Kyuhyun stopped tickling Sungmin when this one just stopped moving, his eyes wide open like his mouth while Ryeowook -feeling Sungmin's hand on him- felt something warm on his chest. Letting that feeling to spread over his body, Ryeowook also felt Sungmin's hand fading away on his shoulder and other hands being replaced at each side of his hips and in a blink of eyes Ryeowook saw Kyuhyun above him.
"K-Kyuhyun?" Ryeowook asked, his voice sounding like Sungmin's.
"What happened Sungmin?" Kyuhyun asked and Ryeowook felt his hands, or rather Sungmin's, shaking.
However, Ryeowook knew this was like a last chance and "his" hands, still shaking, went to Kyuhyun's face and touched it, his breathe getting each time more erratic as he felt the warm skin against his palm. His fingers wandered on Kyuhyun's cheek to then reach his eyes and without questioning, Kyuhyun closed them under Ryeowook's touch. But when the fingers left his eyes and he opened them Kyuhyun didn't see Sungmin beneath him anymore, instead he could see Ryeowook was laying there, his high cheekbones, his small lips and his brown hair making hot tears to form on his eyes.
"Ryeowook?" was Kyuhyun's whisper, his voice almost getting lost on his throat and before he could ask at least one of the things that were running on his mind, he felt Ryeowook's fingers to stop at his lips and he couldn't help but get his face closer to Ryeowook, their breathe tangling with each other before Kyuhyun reached for Ryeowook's lips and kissed him, feeling the hot lips against his while Ryeowook felt Kyuhyun's, also hot, tears to wet his cheeks. "If I open my eyes..." Kyuhyun started, his eyes closed and his lips still locked on Ryeowook's. "...Will you still be here?"
"I guess so." Ryeowook whispered and he felt amazed that it was really his voice leaving his own lips. "But not for too long."
"How long?" Kyuhyun asked, his eyes still closed.
"Long enough so I can tell you to take care of Sungmin." Ryeowook said back, his fingers now playing with Kyuhyun's curled hair. "And to thank you for accepting that dinner."
"I'm so sorry about that." Kyuhyun whispered, his eyes slowly opening while he unlocked their lips and he smiled at the same time that more tears ran down his face when he saw that Ryeowook was still there.
"Don't be." Ryeowook smiled sadly and for the last time touched Kyuhyun's cheek. "I think I shouldn't be between you anymore. Just tell Sungmin that I want him to be happy, no matter what."
"I will." Kyuhyun promised and gave a last smile while he closed his eyes once again while Ryeowook did the same, one last tears dropping from his eyes when he knew there was no turning back, yet he felt he was one of the luckiest person on the earth for meeting Ryeowook and when he opened his eyes Ryeowook was no longer there. Sungmin had his eyes closed while he was breathing slowly and Kyuhyun smiled to the asleep man. Even for the wrong circuntanses he was able to be there with Sungmin, to have this man's life on his own and he was eternaly greatful for Ryeowook because of that.
Still thinking about Ryeowook, Kyuhyun lay down beside Sungmin, holding the man's face against his chest and breathed Sungmin's scent. That was when Kyuhyun stopped feeling guilty for Ryeowook and let his heart to fully accept the man on his arms.
When Ryeowook opened his eyes all he could see were mountains and the white snowflakes covering the view and also landing on his face as he was still laying above the snow. Feeling cold, Ryeowook got up on his knees, but didn't feel the strength to get up fully and stayed there, his chest feeling so tight for his feelings that by the next moment Ryeowook felt hot tears slipping through his eyes and wetting his cheeks.
"What do I do right now?" Ryeowook asked to the mountains, his body starting to shake as some sobs left his mouth. "What...?" He buried his hands in the snow and let the cold feeling pass through his fingers hoping they could calm down his heart too. But it was useless, Ryeowook thought, so useless and pointless to try to feel something when there is nothing more to be felt, nothing more to share, nothing more to live for. In the end Ryeowook knew the answer, he had to let go, but he was so scared of letting go, so scared of finding something that he didn't want to find. "What now?"
"I've told you before." and looking up Ryeowook's eyes met Yesung, he was sitting in a rock, his brown hair being graced by a few snowflakes.
"I don't want to die!" Ryeowook screamed, more tears falling on his cheeks.
"But you did, Ryeowook." Yesung answered, his tone ever so cold and Ryeowook felt angry towards him, felt angry of that so-what feeling that comes on Yesung's voice.
"And you?" Ryeowook screamed once again finally standing up, his hands turning into fists. "You tell me what I should do while you keep here, doing nothing! Why don't you let go first?"
"I told you I can't." Yesung said with that same tone. "Siwon..."
"So go and kill that bastard already!"
"It's not that simple..."
"Of course it is!" Giving some steps Ryeowook walked closer to Yesung, each word getting higher. "Then maybe he can show up here and start bossing you so you can leave me alone!"
"I'm just trying to help you..."
"Then stop it!" Ryeowook screamed, only a few centimeters between then. "You just annoy me! You and all your talking about leaving everything behind when actually you still live in Siwon's life, always at his apartment, always following him!"
"You have nothing to do with..."
"I don't? How come I don't? I'm here because of you! Be-"
Slap.
Ryeowook's right cheek felt hotter than the normal while his eyes were gazing the white floor. One hand went to his swollen cheek as he pressed it feeling the ghost of Yesung's hand still there, as if that slap lasted an eternity.
"I never wished you were here." Yesung said and in this time his voice was low, his breathe erratic and when Ryeowook looked up he saw that Yesung was looking down too, his hands closed. "I never wished all this had happened. I just wanted you to get the peace I don't have."
"You are just forgetting about something." Ryeowook said, getting amazed how his voice didn't choke. "You should try to look differently. Maybe this reality isn't somewhere to get forgiven or to keep sad." Ryeowook then looked to his left side and saw a not so distant lake there. "Maybe here is another place where we can live and finally get happy." and he walked off letting his still hot cheek get colder as the snowflakes were still falling.
"Why are you like this?" this was Yesung's time to get angry. "Why always so optimist and pessimistic at the same time? Always so persistent? And why the hell the only one whom I couldn't control myself?"
"Because you had never met me before." Ryeowook answered listening to the snow behind him sink as Yesung tried to catch him, but never stopping walking.
"I give up on understanding you." Yesung breathed and stopped walking while Ryeowook kept on getting closer to the lake.
"I never asked you to." Ryeowook said and got on his knees when he got close enough to the lake and started to hit the ice covering that part of the lake.
"What are you doing?" Yesung asked confused walking again.
"None of your business." Ryeowook replied and then grinned when the ice broke and he stood up watching the lake opening a big hole, big enough to fit a small boat. "Just want to test something." and then walked a few steps back and ran to the hole, his body hitting the freezing water giving Ryeowook the feeling of millions of small knives to attack his body in parts that he never knew it existed. And he smiled when he felt his lunges claiming for air and let them burn with the cold water filling them. However, he felt a warm pair of arms holding his waist and pulling him to somewhere Ryeowook didn't even know if it was up or down.
"Ass...hole." came Yesung's voice cracking up from the cold as Ryeowook started to cough. Opening his eyes Ryeowook saw that the snow was gone and it looked like the summer had hit those mountains.
"W-Why?" Ryeowook asked, his body still shaking from the cold of the water slowly getting hot both from the sun and the warm from Yesung's body above his.
"I had... to save... you." Yesung also whispered, his voice also cracking and his wet hair letting drops to fall on Ryeowook's cheeks, so close to Yesung's eyes.
"No." Ryeowook answered. "I would... just die... once again."
Many of questions came to Yesung's mind and he felt like doing a hundred of things at the same time, one of them like killing Ryeowook right here and then, but his body concentrated on doing only one thing, to lean on and touch Ryeowook's lips with his own. The lips were cold, yet so soft and Yesung just melt on them, his body getting even closer to Ryeowook when this one responded the kiss by deepening it. Their tongues touched each other and Yesung asked himself why he hadn't done it back that time in Japan. Their hands were so tangled on each other bodies that they didn't notice the floor beneath them started to shake and to change into a big yard, just a cherry tree hiding both bodies from the sun.
Ryeowook's hands ran through Yesung's shoulders and ended up resting on his hot cheeks as he asked himself if Yesung was really there. Because if everything he ever knew about life was gone, then why he could feel Yesung if they were both dead? And then his own voice sounded on his mind "where we can live and finally get happy." And by then Ryeowook felt hot tears leaving his eyes while he felt Yesung's body shaking under his fingertips and he knew Yesung was also crying.
Clamming for air, they stopped kissing, but kept their eyes closed and their faces still so close.
"Sorry... for hitting you." his voice came out not above a whisper and Ryeowook only shook his head, his fingers tangling into Yesung's hair.
"You... are not Kyuhyun." Ryeowook stated. "Why am I...?"
"You are not Siwon either." Yesung said opening his eyes. "and I also don't know why." his hand now touching Ryeowook's cheek. Yesung then let go of Ryeowook and stood on his knees beside him, but his back facing the other. "I entered that door, I faced my fears." Ryeowook didn't know why Yesung was telling him this, but he sat and kept on listening. "I saw Siwon killing me, I saw where he put my body and even listened to what he said after doing so. But I ended up here again. I kept asking myself if this was the hell and if I had to stay here, counting only with lifeless and empty places. Because deep down even you know that all of this isn't real." and then the grass under them turned dry and gray and the cherry tree lost its blossom and its color. "I killed myself, but it didn't change anything. I touched Siwon, but it got only worst, and I tried to face my fears once again, but nothing that I did came with an answer, nothing changed even though I tried so hard. So I gave up and lost track of time while walking through empty cities. And then you appeared." Yesung sighed and stood on his feet, still with his back to Ryeowook. "But it didn't change nothing at all. So I was hoping that you could change it by doing something."
"Did I?" Ryeowook asked, curiosity suddenly growing up as Yesung kept quiet for a while.
"No." was Yesung's answer and he looked at Ryeowook again. "I'm as hopeless as you are. I'm sorry." he whispered, Ryeowook almost not listening to it, and he started to walk away.
And as Yesung started to fade away, walls raised from the floor and Ryeowook saw himself inside the piano room once again as he didn't fell like doing nothing but playing.
~~
Sungmin was the first one to wake up in the morning and he unconsciously smiled feeling the warm of someone's arms around him. When he opened his eyes he saw the TV, still on, in front of him and he then noticed he had slept on the couch and if he did so, Kyuhyun was probably the one hugging him. Looking back, Sungmin confirmed, Kyuhyun was sleeping soundly, his big lips a little bit parted letting air in and out of his lunges and his curled hair was falling above his closed eyes. Smiling at the sight, Sungmin turned between Kyuhyun's arms to have a better look.
"Ryeowook did have good taste." Sungmin smiled and slowly unlocked Kyuhyun's arms from his frame and stood up without making any sound and heading to the kitchen to start making their breakfast.
When Sungmin started frying the eggs, Kyuhyun woke up with both the sound and the smell of the food and went to the kitchen finding Sungmin humming a song while looking at the eggs.
"Good morning." Kyuhyun said feeling his eyes a little bit sleepy yet.
"Morning." Sungmin replied looking back and flashing a smile to the other who was walking a little bit dizzy from the sleep and whose hair was a mess. "Had a nice sleep?" he laughed.
"The best considering I had to share the couch with you." Kyuhyun laughed and sat at the table.
"I'm sorry about that." Sungmin said putting fried eggs on a plate. "But I really don't remember when we ended up sleeping."
"What do you remember about yesterday night?" Kyuhyun asked wishing Sungmin could at least help him to know if everything that happened the other night was real or not.
"Hm..." Sungmin started to think and turned to face Kyuhyun, one finger on his chin, and Kyuhyun thought he could look at that sight forever. "The last thing I remember was you mocking me because of the movie and then tickling me, and then... we fell asleep? I really don't remember much."
"Actually..." Kyuhyun started, but then he stopped himself while playing everything that had happened in his mind, all looking just like a dream and a mix of craziness. Sungmin would never believe him that his best friend had come and possessed his body in order to talk with Kyuhyun. "Yeah. We ended up sleeping."
"It's always nice to do something with you." Sungmin smiled, his eyes becoming nothing more than two lines.
"So we should always stick together." Kyuhyun smiled back.
"Sure."
~~
Yesung was sitting with his back facing a door which he had known for so long asking himself why all of those things were happening with him. Since when he couldn't untangle his feelings? And the answer was right on his back, it was all Siwon's fault. But blaming the man wouldn't make any difference at what was still happening and Yesung felt so tired of all this, all he wanted was to go to a heaven that his church always talked about, but for some reason Ryeowook's name crossed his mind and at the same time a door appeared from the snow and Yesung could listen to a soft song being played in the other side of the door.
The rhythm was slow and soft, yet looked so sad, but Yesung felt something warm filling his chest. And Yesung stood up and gave the three steps needed to go from Siwon's door to that other one which Yesung already knew who was kept inside.
Without minding knocking, Yesung opened revealing a large room lightened by the moon's rays coming from the open windows and a lonely figure sitting in front of a big piano and while walking to Ryeowook, Yesung saw that his skin was shining together with the rays. However, Ryeowook's fingers weren't touching the keys, but the song was still playing, each note sadder. Looking closely, Yesung saw that besides Ryeowook's skin shining with that light, some tears running on his cheeks were also shining looking like little pearls wetting Ryeowook's shirt, but its owner didn't mind, his eyes only looking at the piano playing itself.
"I want to go." Ryeowook whispered, so low that Yesung found hard to catch those words. "It's horrible to be kept in this emptiness."
Yesung approached Ryeowook and sat beside him also looking at the piano and listening to whatever Ryeowook had to say.
"This place is just a dream and I know I should wake up." a pause and Ryeowook raised his hand playing a single note between that melody and looked to Yesung, his eyes shining with his tears and his lips red from crying. "But I don't want the fear being the last emotion felt."
"I... I can go with you." Yesung said reaching Ryeowook's hand, close to the keys, with his and squeezed it. "I really want to help you."
"But..." he whispered looking to their tangled hands.
"I'll protect you." Yesung said, his voice showing more strength than he thought he had. "I'll take the fear away from you."
"Why?" Ryeowook asked looking up to Yesung once again and the latter held himself to not kiss those tears right away.
"Because... because I care."
And the piano disappeared in front of them, together with its song, and the walls faded away while the snow was getting around them and, still sitting in the bench and with their hands tangled, they saw themselves looking at Siwon's door once again.
"Ready?" Yesung asked carefully as to what Ryeowook nodded in agreement, squeezed Yesung's hand harder and raised from the bench.
Their steps were slow and while walking and staring at that door, they were still holding hands, feeling each other skin under their fingertips. When they reached the door, Yesung raised his other hand to open it and when he touched the knob he felt Ryeowook squeezing his hand once again.
With the door open, they passed it to find themselves in Siwon's apartment. The only light was coming from the kitchen and it only lightened one side of Siwon, sitting on the couch and staring at something in the floor. Walking closer, and never letting go the other hand, Ryeowook gasped and hugged Yesung when he saw his own body laying on the floor, lifeless, his lips purple and his clothes socked with blood coming from his chest and some cuts on his face. But even hugging Yesung, Ryeowook kept one eye on Siwon who raised from the couch and went to the kitchen coming back some seconds later with a large sack and feeling Yesung's hands passing on his back, Ryeowook saw Siwon putting his lifeless body inside the sack and left the room. Before noticing he was crying, Yesung pushed Ryeowook's face away from his shoulder and whipped his tears away with his small hand.
"How... Could he?" Ryeowook asked between the sobs gazing at Yesung's eyes which were giving him the security Ryeowook had always asked for.
"Don't care for that." the other whispered, his hand wandering in Ryeowook's cheekbones and tangling in his hair. "I just wish to take care of you." and he went forward and softly touched Ryeowook's lips with his own. Ryeowook responded by closing his eyes and losing his weight on Yesung's arm still around his waist. And when they felt each other tongues, Ryeowook's feeling salty from crying, both saw some bright light passing through their eyelids. They kissed until they felt their chest getting warmer by each movement and then they parted, eyes still closed, hands still feeling each other.
"Do you believe we'll see each other again?" Yesung felt those words hitting his ear and tangling in his brain and he never felt more sure.
"Yes." Yesung didn't hesitate and opened his eyes at the same time Ryeowook did it.
They weren't in Siwon's apartment anymore, not even in that big yard. If Yesung had a word for that place he would say they were standing into nothingness. But Ryeowook knew better.
"We go to the space before dying?" Ryeowook laughed a little bit and then Yesung could see some stars shining so far away from them, yet sending brightness on them.
"I always liked stars." Yesung said looking back to Ryeowook and smiling more. "And I also like you."
"So do I." Ryeowook smiled, one last tear dropping from his eye, and he kissed Yesung once again. The last time before he felt his body slowly fading away and not feeling nothing more than that warm touch. And Ryeowook held himself on that touch, but then he felt falling into nothingness. However Ryeowook just accepted it and fell with a smile on his face.
"If by dying I can find someone to love... then it's ok to me." was his last thought before the nothingness swallow his body.
~~
"I don't get why drinking on the beach, on the winter, on your birthday, should be a good idea."
"It's the only time when the beaches aren't filled with noisy people."
"But couldn't you like inviting some people to, at least, eat some cake like I did last month?"
"Nah. It's just perfect like this."
Kyuhyun put a big blanket above the cold sand and they sat side by side, Kyuhyun looking and smiling at Sungmin while this one put the wine and the two glasses he was holding between them.
"Stop creeping on me." Sungmin laughed, but he knew deep inside he didn't mind that look on Kyuhyun's face.
Kyuhyun only laughed and took the bottle on his hands to open it and when he did he poured some wine on both the glasses. Getting his own, Kyuhyun gazed to the sea in front of them. The wind was blowing hard making they feel even colder and burying themselves more in their tick coats. The first sip from the wine went hot inside Kyuhyun's body and he felt a little bit better.
"Sometimes you really are amazing." Sungmin broke Kyuhyun's quietness making the man to look at him. After having Sungmin as a part of his life, Kyuhyun didn't mind Sungmin breaking his moments anymore, actually he started to like to have someone to do it.
"Once in a while you are amazing too." Kyuhyun replied and drank some more while Sungmin looked at him with suspicious eyes.
"I know you love me." Sungmin said and looked to the sea also drinking some of the wine.
But Kyuhyun didn't take his eyes away from Sungmin, those words still echoing on his mind. It had passed months since when Kyuhyun had "talked" with Ryeowook, but he has never brought this subject up and decided to just be with Sungmin through almost all the time. If you looked at them you would think they are really dating, but actually they were nothing more than friends. Not that Kyuhyun liked to be only at that level, but he could never have the courage to talk with Sungmin about that, to talk about his feelings and to let the man know that they could work out together as a couple.
And maybe that was the right time. Gazing at Sungmin who was still looking at the sea, his black hair flying back showing more of his cheeks, his lips a little bit red from the wine. And Kyuhyun got closer, putting his glass aside, his face not that far from Sungmin's cheek, and when Sungmin noticed Kyuhyun was that close, he looked at the man and gave a questioning gaze.
"Can I kiss you?" Kyuhyun asked and he saw Sungmin's cheeks getting pink while he leaned forward finally feeling his lips. Sungmin didn't pull back and Kyuhyun licked his lips making Sungmin to part them to feel Kyuhyun's tongue hot against his and the taste of wine on it. They kissed some more, each touch more passionate than the other, but Sungmin reluctantly put his hand on Kyuhyun's chest and slowly pushed him away, his breathe erratic.
"I can't." Sungmin said looking to the glass still on his hand. "I'm sorry, but I can't. Ryeowook..."
"Sungmin. This can't last forever..."
"He loved you Kyuhyun. I feel like stealing something from him." he still didn't look up, a tear falling and mixing with the wine.
"He also loved you Sungmin. I can't picture Ryeowook wanting you to be sad for the rest of your life." he said reaching for Sungmin's hand, but when he touched it with his fingertips, Sungmin pulled his hand away and gazed the wine from the fallen glass to soak the brown blanket.
"It's not about me being sad. It's just..." but Sungmin couldn't find the words to continue it and he looked up to Kyuhyun. "Every time I look at you I think back about Ryeowook. About how much I miss him and how we couldn't even find the guilty for his death."
"But most of the time you are happy with me, because you know I'm Kyuhyun, not some part of Ryeowook."
"But Kyuhyun...."
"Sungmin. I know this can work out. I want this to work out. Look..." Kyuhyun said passing his hand through his hair. "Some months ago..." Kyuhyun started kneeling in front of Sungmin making the other to look at him. "I kind of talked with Ryeowook."
"Kyuhyun, please don't..."
"Listen." Kyuhyun said not breaking their gaze. "He told me that you should be happy no matter what and..."
"I always hoped you would never do such a thing as bringing death people's name just to..."
"Please Sungmin. I wouldn't play with it. I am serious." Kyuhyun said grabbing Sungmin's coat stopping him from standing up. "It did happen. And even though it didn't, don't you think Ryeowook would want something like this? Sungmin. I want to make you happy. I want to."
"Kyu..." Sungmin's face was completely wet by now.
"Just give me a chance Sungmin. I will never let you down."
Sungmin didn't say anything and didn't make a move either. So Kyuhyun started to get closer to him, his arms slowly embracing Sungmin and by feeling that warm, Sungmin leaned on Kyuhyun and hugged him back finally letting go of the sobs he was holding.
"I'll make you happy. No matter what."
END
AN: well, sorry if I took like... months and months to finally post it, actually this was ready by the end of july, but before I got time to read it and correct and my fail mistakes school was back and I started studying double the time I did before so I can enter college next year. so really sorry if you were waiting for this part for too long. and well, I don't even know how I got time to finally finish this lmao
but still, I really hope you enjoyed it and sorry if I made any mistakes ^3^
Author: polari-s
Pairing: Yewook, Kyumin, one-sided!Kyuwook
Rating: PG13
Genre: drama, romance, sort of heaven and death thing
Summary: "What place is this?" Ryeowook asked confused while looking to the wild sea in front of him colored with the sun's pink and orange rays, a sea which he had never seen on his life. And he feared, he feared he had left his friends somewhere where he didn't belong to anymore.
AN: this fic was based on the movie called 'the lovely bones', my favorite after confessions ♥
previous
With the sunrise rays touching his soft cheek, Sungmin woke up feeling already tired. When his mind was finally awake, he asked himself why he was on his bed if he didn't remember going to sleep either. But as fast as a bomb exploding, he remembered what had happened and ran to Ryeowook's bedroom, right in front of his. The bed looked untouched, but he heard a noise coming from the kitchen and he ran there, a smile planted on his face, his mind already forming words to tell Ryeowook about his nightmare.
However, when Sungmin finally got in the kitchen, it wasn't Ryeowook who he saw, it wasn't Ryeowook frying bacons and eggs. It was Kyuhyun.
"I hope you don't mind." Kyuhyun said when he noticed Sungmin was standing there looking at him. "I thought you would be hungry and needed some energy."
"Thank you." Sungmin said in a small voice sitting before his legs felt numb.
"Here you have bacons." Kyuhyun said forcing a smile while putting a full plate in front of Sungmin.
"I don't feel like eating, sorry."
"Hm. I knew you would be like this, so I made some calls too." Kyuhyun started sitting in front of Sungmin taking the man's attention. "My dad deals with funerals and I asked him to do this for Ryeowook. And I really hope you don't mind, but I schedule it to be at Sanchul Chapel at 6pm. You can call how many people you..."
"There is no need for this." Sungmin cut him off, yet still with a soft voice, small tears forming on his eyes.
"Of course it is. He deserves a proper funeral." Kyuhyun answered as sweet, his hand reaching for Sungmin's and touching it slightly.
"I mean it because there is only one person who wants to say a proper goodbye to him." and so tears started to roll on Sungmin's cheeks.
"I want to say a proper goodbye too." Kyuhyun whispered and clenched his hand around Sungmin's one last time before getting up. "I'll be there too."
What would you do after your dearest friend died? Sungmin didn't have an answer for this until some hours ago. He learned that the first thing you do is to suffer, to cry as much as you can, and even if you put back the idea of your friend not being there anymore, the concrete fact that he IS gone will come back as soon as possible crashing down your heart and sinking it to a place you thought it belonged to your stomach. And so you don't eat, you wouldn't even breathe if that command wasn't printed on your brain. Through the morning Kyuhyun was still inside -now only his- apartment, Sungmin held his tears as much as he could, but when he left, that emptiness filled him once again taking room on his body and trowing the tears away. But when the sky started to get pink, Sungmin knew that tears wouldn't do nothing much and his sobs finished, however, he couldn't stop some tears falling slowly from his eyes while he got ready to go to the chapel Kyuhyun had mentioned before.
At the moment Sungmin entered in the small and empty chapel, the sky above his head was already purple, but seeing through a window he could see the sun hiding itself in the horizon leaving behind pink and orange colors painting the sky. It didn't match with Ryeowook though. If, at a moment when Ryeowook was definitely leaving, then the sun should match with the happiness that once shone bright on his face. But maybe the sky was remembering Sungmin how much trouble Ryeowook had passed, since leaving his parents' house after them refusing to believe their son wasn't going to marry to a girl to end up in front of Sungmin's small apartment, trying to find someone known to give him some support. And support Sungmin gave.
Even though with this problem and working in the morning, studying in the afternoon and later having more work, Ryeowook allowed himself to fall in love with the new student at his piano class. Kyuhyun had cute and big cheeks that inflated when he laughed, full lips which Ryeowook could kill to have his owns on it, round and brown eyes who he had wished were turned only for him and white skin that looked so soft and he wanted to give a try; Sungmin heard every day about this Kyuhyun and he was really happy that, four days before that chapel night, Kyuhyun had accepted on having dinner with Ryeowook even though they never really talked with each other that much.
A dinner Ryeowook never had.
"We could start it." a man, probably on his middle sixties and also Kyuhyun's dad, just because his voice was as soft as the young one, was standing behind a dark brown coffin and Sungmin's heart sank some more centimeters, just stopping when he heard Kyuhyun's comforting voice behind him.
"I hope he can be fine by now."
"How can he?" Sungmin asked, his voice cracking while he gave some more steps closer to the coffin and he hated how someone was capable of leaving some purple marks and cuts on those high cheekbones, now not that clear behind the make-up, or how they were brave enough to take all the life away from Ryeowook leaving behind only white skin and dead flesh.
"If you find your peace." Kyuhyun started saying touching Sungmin's shoulder, this one leaving more and more tears to wet his cheeks. "He might find his own too."
~~
"Does he not want me?" Ryeowook asked out loud.
Now he was sitting in a big rock with all the endless sea in front of him, yet his feet away from the salty drops coming from the waves and his face being greeted by the wind taking all his hair back letting his skin shine with the sun. Ryeowook didn't ask to no one in special, but he knew Yesung was there somewhere and as he thought, the other joined him above the rock and sat beside him.
"Who?"
"Sungmin. He told me goodbye, I was there." he said with his eyes fixed on a big wave that got a rock below them to get completely wet and have some seaweed glued on it. "Maybe I was just a burden for him."
"If so why would he be there to cry over your body? He really liked you." Yesung responded, his index finger playing with the rock's irregular surface.
"Only for him. I was, for sure, a burden to my parents. If they ever hear the news about my dead they might throw a party."
"Hey. Stop it." Yesung said in a low tone putting his hand on Ryeowook's shoulder making this one to look at him, his hair hiding his eyes while the wind still kept blowing. "They just failed hard on it. But they must love you. Besides, Kyuhyun was there too."
"Kyuhyun doesn't know me that much, but... you were at the chapel too?" Ryeowook asked surprised.
"Well, I don't keep on looking at Siwon all time long. It's boring sometimes." he gave a small laugh and took his hand away from Ryeowook looking to the sea. "You see, you don't actually have to create a place all the time, you can just go to places where you haven't before."
"At least here, I have everything I could ever think of." Ryeowook smiled, took his eyes away from Yesung and stood up giving some steps back. "Having your imagination into reality is better than doing your dreams half real." and started to run until he reached the edge of the rock and gave a big jump.
For one moment Yesung was going to scream at him, remember the man that pain was still pain there, but then he laughed when he noticed Ryeowook was no longer jumping to a wild sea, but to a big trampoline surrounded with a calm chocolate sea.
"You are crazy!" Yesung screamed while Ryeowook kept on jumping on the trampoline. "At least put something real on here!"
"Hyung! Where is the place you visited the most after being here?" Ryeowook screamed stopping jumping.
"Paris!" Yesung screamed without thinking twice and he felt the urge of jumping to the trampoline together with Ryeowook when he saw the Eifel Tower appearing from beneath the sea and standing there, covered with chocolate, right beside Ryeowook.
"There is your reality." he smiled, a kind and genuine smile making his cheekbones go even higher and Yesung asked himself how Kyuhyun was able to not be in love with that man.
~~
In their world, the days would pass just like the real ones, but if they choose to not care about the hours, 4 months could look only like 5 days and that's when Ryeowook noticed how much he had missed being around Sungmin and doing real things, besides, sometimes Yesung was hard to find and he would spend hours creating places where he could have some fun -alone.
The last time Ryeowook had seen Yesung was when he was following Sungmin on his way to college. He wasn't having problems to not touch people once that it was morning, but he was feeling a urge to touch Sungmin, to shake the man and tell him he was there! However, when he was about to touch him, he saw Yesung following them in the other side of the street. Yesung gave a sad smile to them as they entered in a café and Ryeowook was slightly surprised to see Kyuhyun sitting in one of the tables of the place.
"Always the same spot." Sungmin smiled shyly and walked to Kyuhyun sitting in front of him.
"I can't have another sit." Kyuhyun said back stopping writing in some music sheets to take a sip of his coffee. "How is your week?"
"If you think that terrible jokes told by horrible teachers isn't a bad thing, then I am ok." Sungmin smiled.
Ryeowook didn't have any troubles of not touching someone as the place was kind of empty too, so he sat on a table beside them and didn't even notice Yesung sitting in front of him.
"What about yours?"
"The same thing." Kyuhyun smiled making Ryeowook to feel his heart beat faster just like it used to do whether he had seen Kyuhyun smiling like that. However, that smile blew away being replaced by a worried expression. "Actually I wanted to talk about something with you."
"Something that you couldn't have said yesterday?"
"No phones. It's actually because I've been thinking about what a girl had told me at my class."
"And what did she say?" Sungmin asked feeling himself worried already.
"She asked me if I knew what had happened with Ryeowook." he stated looking at a distant point through the blurry window.
"What do you mean?" Sungmin asked feeling an emptiness filling his heart.
"She asked to me if I had seen him around and it got me thinking how someone could only notice he is gone four months after he left." Kyuhyun said looking at his sheets while taking another sip of his coffee.
"She wasn't luck enough to have known him." Sungmin smiled a little bit following Kyuhyun's eyes and resting on the music sheets making him remember how Ryeowook used to love music and how much he had fought to enter that college where Kyuhyun was still attending to.
"Like me?"
"At least you were willing to know him." Sungmin answered looking up to Kyuhyun's face, their eyes meeting each other. And at that moment Ryeowook felt something on his heart, but he didn't know what it was exactly, just that it was burning up to his throat. "But you shouldn't think too much about it. At least Ryeowook was happy enough when he... you know... while thinking he would have a date with you." Sungmin said, his voice cracking up a little bit.
"I'm sorry for bringing this up." Kyuhyun apologized looking at Sungmin and seeing how tense he was.
"It's ok." Sungmin said, his hands playing with the hem of his sleeves.
"Hm. Are you going to do something tonight?" Kyuhyun asked already putting his music sheets inside of his bag.
"I just want to stay home." Sungmin answered getting up while Kyuhyun put some money on the table.
"Good. Can I pass by too?" and they started walking to the door.
"Sure. We could watch..." were the last things Ryeowook heard from Sungmin before the café's door closed.
"Do you think they are..." Ryeowook started looking up to Yesung.
"Not yet." Yesung said and stood up.
"What do you mean yet?" Ryeowook asked not moving.
"Ryeowook, even if they are really together, you shouldn't care much anymore."
"But this is my life. They are the only ones who I care..."
"Ryeowook." Yesung cut the man off. "This was your life. I might not have left yet, but at least from the very start I knew I would never belong to this anymore." and Yesung left the place leaving Ryeowook alone at the café.
By then everyone on the café disappeared and a thin rain started to fall inside the place getting Ryeowook wet. The lights started blinking and Ryeowook sank in the chair feeling a heavy pressure on his chest. He felt like screaming 'till his lunges would start to hurt, but he also felt like puking and crying and then he felt like wishing a simple hug, on having someone with him while he felt so scared and so lonely.
And there was still that feeling when he saw Kyuhyun and Sungmin so fine together. He felt happy by seeing that Sungmin was a little bit better, but he was the one who wanted to have Kyuhyun. He was the one who wished to pass a night with Kyuhyun, to pass his life with Kyuhyun. So the rain stopped as a small smile spread on Ryeowook's lips. He could enjoy being around them yet, right?
Then Ryeowook saw himself in Sungmin's apartment again. The place was just like he remembered and he wondered if his bedroom was still the same too, his table with some of his music sheets, his bed with the cotton blue blanket he loved so much and the walls filled with a few places he had visited and some he still had wanted to visit, but before thinking more about it, his eyes and thoughts followed the moves on the couch.
It was late at night already and the TV was playing a movie that Ryeowook has never seen before, but he sure knew the men on the couch. Kyuhyun was sitting on a side and Sungmin's body was laying on the couch with his head on the other's lap. Kyuhyun's hand was resting on Sungmin's shoulder and suddenly Ryeowook felt jealous of that touch. Walking closer to the couple, Ryeowook noticed Sungmin was crying on Kyuhyun's lap.
"Sungmin?" Kyuhyun called also noticing that Sungmin's body was shaking under his touch while he kept repressing the sobs.
Sungmin, instead of answering, just buried his face on Kyuhyun's thighs.
"I can't believe you are crying because of this movie!" Kyuhyun mocked pulling Sungmin so he was now sitting, but still trying to hide his wet face.
"But it's a sad movie." his voice came muffled by his hands.
"And just a movie." Kyuhyun laughed getting closer to Sungmin and trying to look at his face. "It's just about a dog."
"Kyuhyun!" Sungmin shouted and playfully hit Kyuhyun on his arm.
"Don't cry." Kyuhyun smiled and once again Ryeowook felt jealous that he was giving that gorgeous smile to Sungmin instead of him and, before he knew, Kyuhyun jumped above Sungmin, each leg on each side of his hips, and started to tickle him making Sungmin's laugh and pleads for him to stop fill the apartment.
Ryeowook gave a sad smile at them wishing he could at least laugh that hard again and really feel like dying of laughter. Then Ryeowook walked to the couch and knelt in front of the two of them, both still laughing and moving without knowing -nor imagining- that Ryeowook was there wishing his life back. But trying to get away from Kyuhyun, Sungmin stretched his arm and ended up reaching Ryeowook's shoulder and Kyuhyun stopped tickling Sungmin when this one just stopped moving, his eyes wide open like his mouth while Ryeowook -feeling Sungmin's hand on him- felt something warm on his chest. Letting that feeling to spread over his body, Ryeowook also felt Sungmin's hand fading away on his shoulder and other hands being replaced at each side of his hips and in a blink of eyes Ryeowook saw Kyuhyun above him.
"K-Kyuhyun?" Ryeowook asked, his voice sounding like Sungmin's.
"What happened Sungmin?" Kyuhyun asked and Ryeowook felt his hands, or rather Sungmin's, shaking.
However, Ryeowook knew this was like a last chance and "his" hands, still shaking, went to Kyuhyun's face and touched it, his breathe getting each time more erratic as he felt the warm skin against his palm. His fingers wandered on Kyuhyun's cheek to then reach his eyes and without questioning, Kyuhyun closed them under Ryeowook's touch. But when the fingers left his eyes and he opened them Kyuhyun didn't see Sungmin beneath him anymore, instead he could see Ryeowook was laying there, his high cheekbones, his small lips and his brown hair making hot tears to form on his eyes.
"Ryeowook?" was Kyuhyun's whisper, his voice almost getting lost on his throat and before he could ask at least one of the things that were running on his mind, he felt Ryeowook's fingers to stop at his lips and he couldn't help but get his face closer to Ryeowook, their breathe tangling with each other before Kyuhyun reached for Ryeowook's lips and kissed him, feeling the hot lips against his while Ryeowook felt Kyuhyun's, also hot, tears to wet his cheeks. "If I open my eyes..." Kyuhyun started, his eyes closed and his lips still locked on Ryeowook's. "...Will you still be here?"
"I guess so." Ryeowook whispered and he felt amazed that it was really his voice leaving his own lips. "But not for too long."
"How long?" Kyuhyun asked, his eyes still closed.
"Long enough so I can tell you to take care of Sungmin." Ryeowook said back, his fingers now playing with Kyuhyun's curled hair. "And to thank you for accepting that dinner."
"I'm so sorry about that." Kyuhyun whispered, his eyes slowly opening while he unlocked their lips and he smiled at the same time that more tears ran down his face when he saw that Ryeowook was still there.
"Don't be." Ryeowook smiled sadly and for the last time touched Kyuhyun's cheek. "I think I shouldn't be between you anymore. Just tell Sungmin that I want him to be happy, no matter what."
"I will." Kyuhyun promised and gave a last smile while he closed his eyes once again while Ryeowook did the same, one last tears dropping from his eyes when he knew there was no turning back, yet he felt he was one of the luckiest person on the earth for meeting Ryeowook and when he opened his eyes Ryeowook was no longer there. Sungmin had his eyes closed while he was breathing slowly and Kyuhyun smiled to the asleep man. Even for the wrong circuntanses he was able to be there with Sungmin, to have this man's life on his own and he was eternaly greatful for Ryeowook because of that.
Still thinking about Ryeowook, Kyuhyun lay down beside Sungmin, holding the man's face against his chest and breathed Sungmin's scent. That was when Kyuhyun stopped feeling guilty for Ryeowook and let his heart to fully accept the man on his arms.
When Ryeowook opened his eyes all he could see were mountains and the white snowflakes covering the view and also landing on his face as he was still laying above the snow. Feeling cold, Ryeowook got up on his knees, but didn't feel the strength to get up fully and stayed there, his chest feeling so tight for his feelings that by the next moment Ryeowook felt hot tears slipping through his eyes and wetting his cheeks.
"What do I do right now?" Ryeowook asked to the mountains, his body starting to shake as some sobs left his mouth. "What...?" He buried his hands in the snow and let the cold feeling pass through his fingers hoping they could calm down his heart too. But it was useless, Ryeowook thought, so useless and pointless to try to feel something when there is nothing more to be felt, nothing more to share, nothing more to live for. In the end Ryeowook knew the answer, he had to let go, but he was so scared of letting go, so scared of finding something that he didn't want to find. "What now?"
"I've told you before." and looking up Ryeowook's eyes met Yesung, he was sitting in a rock, his brown hair being graced by a few snowflakes.
"I don't want to die!" Ryeowook screamed, more tears falling on his cheeks.
"But you did, Ryeowook." Yesung answered, his tone ever so cold and Ryeowook felt angry towards him, felt angry of that so-what feeling that comes on Yesung's voice.
"And you?" Ryeowook screamed once again finally standing up, his hands turning into fists. "You tell me what I should do while you keep here, doing nothing! Why don't you let go first?"
"I told you I can't." Yesung said with that same tone. "Siwon..."
"So go and kill that bastard already!"
"It's not that simple..."
"Of course it is!" Giving some steps Ryeowook walked closer to Yesung, each word getting higher. "Then maybe he can show up here and start bossing you so you can leave me alone!"
"I'm just trying to help you..."
"Then stop it!" Ryeowook screamed, only a few centimeters between then. "You just annoy me! You and all your talking about leaving everything behind when actually you still live in Siwon's life, always at his apartment, always following him!"
"You have nothing to do with..."
"I don't? How come I don't? I'm here because of you! Be-"
Slap.
Ryeowook's right cheek felt hotter than the normal while his eyes were gazing the white floor. One hand went to his swollen cheek as he pressed it feeling the ghost of Yesung's hand still there, as if that slap lasted an eternity.
"I never wished you were here." Yesung said and in this time his voice was low, his breathe erratic and when Ryeowook looked up he saw that Yesung was looking down too, his hands closed. "I never wished all this had happened. I just wanted you to get the peace I don't have."
"You are just forgetting about something." Ryeowook said, getting amazed how his voice didn't choke. "You should try to look differently. Maybe this reality isn't somewhere to get forgiven or to keep sad." Ryeowook then looked to his left side and saw a not so distant lake there. "Maybe here is another place where we can live and finally get happy." and he walked off letting his still hot cheek get colder as the snowflakes were still falling.
"Why are you like this?" this was Yesung's time to get angry. "Why always so optimist and pessimistic at the same time? Always so persistent? And why the hell the only one whom I couldn't control myself?"
"Because you had never met me before." Ryeowook answered listening to the snow behind him sink as Yesung tried to catch him, but never stopping walking.
"I give up on understanding you." Yesung breathed and stopped walking while Ryeowook kept on getting closer to the lake.
"I never asked you to." Ryeowook said and got on his knees when he got close enough to the lake and started to hit the ice covering that part of the lake.
"What are you doing?" Yesung asked confused walking again.
"None of your business." Ryeowook replied and then grinned when the ice broke and he stood up watching the lake opening a big hole, big enough to fit a small boat. "Just want to test something." and then walked a few steps back and ran to the hole, his body hitting the freezing water giving Ryeowook the feeling of millions of small knives to attack his body in parts that he never knew it existed. And he smiled when he felt his lunges claiming for air and let them burn with the cold water filling them. However, he felt a warm pair of arms holding his waist and pulling him to somewhere Ryeowook didn't even know if it was up or down.
"Ass...hole." came Yesung's voice cracking up from the cold as Ryeowook started to cough. Opening his eyes Ryeowook saw that the snow was gone and it looked like the summer had hit those mountains.
"W-Why?" Ryeowook asked, his body still shaking from the cold of the water slowly getting hot both from the sun and the warm from Yesung's body above his.
"I had... to save... you." Yesung also whispered, his voice also cracking and his wet hair letting drops to fall on Ryeowook's cheeks, so close to Yesung's eyes.
"No." Ryeowook answered. "I would... just die... once again."
Many of questions came to Yesung's mind and he felt like doing a hundred of things at the same time, one of them like killing Ryeowook right here and then, but his body concentrated on doing only one thing, to lean on and touch Ryeowook's lips with his own. The lips were cold, yet so soft and Yesung just melt on them, his body getting even closer to Ryeowook when this one responded the kiss by deepening it. Their tongues touched each other and Yesung asked himself why he hadn't done it back that time in Japan. Their hands were so tangled on each other bodies that they didn't notice the floor beneath them started to shake and to change into a big yard, just a cherry tree hiding both bodies from the sun.
Ryeowook's hands ran through Yesung's shoulders and ended up resting on his hot cheeks as he asked himself if Yesung was really there. Because if everything he ever knew about life was gone, then why he could feel Yesung if they were both dead? And then his own voice sounded on his mind "where we can live and finally get happy." And by then Ryeowook felt hot tears leaving his eyes while he felt Yesung's body shaking under his fingertips and he knew Yesung was also crying.
Clamming for air, they stopped kissing, but kept their eyes closed and their faces still so close.
"Sorry... for hitting you." his voice came out not above a whisper and Ryeowook only shook his head, his fingers tangling into Yesung's hair.
"You... are not Kyuhyun." Ryeowook stated. "Why am I...?"
"You are not Siwon either." Yesung said opening his eyes. "and I also don't know why." his hand now touching Ryeowook's cheek. Yesung then let go of Ryeowook and stood on his knees beside him, but his back facing the other. "I entered that door, I faced my fears." Ryeowook didn't know why Yesung was telling him this, but he sat and kept on listening. "I saw Siwon killing me, I saw where he put my body and even listened to what he said after doing so. But I ended up here again. I kept asking myself if this was the hell and if I had to stay here, counting only with lifeless and empty places. Because deep down even you know that all of this isn't real." and then the grass under them turned dry and gray and the cherry tree lost its blossom and its color. "I killed myself, but it didn't change anything. I touched Siwon, but it got only worst, and I tried to face my fears once again, but nothing that I did came with an answer, nothing changed even though I tried so hard. So I gave up and lost track of time while walking through empty cities. And then you appeared." Yesung sighed and stood on his feet, still with his back to Ryeowook. "But it didn't change nothing at all. So I was hoping that you could change it by doing something."
"Did I?" Ryeowook asked, curiosity suddenly growing up as Yesung kept quiet for a while.
"No." was Yesung's answer and he looked at Ryeowook again. "I'm as hopeless as you are. I'm sorry." he whispered, Ryeowook almost not listening to it, and he started to walk away.
And as Yesung started to fade away, walls raised from the floor and Ryeowook saw himself inside the piano room once again as he didn't fell like doing nothing but playing.
~~
Sungmin was the first one to wake up in the morning and he unconsciously smiled feeling the warm of someone's arms around him. When he opened his eyes he saw the TV, still on, in front of him and he then noticed he had slept on the couch and if he did so, Kyuhyun was probably the one hugging him. Looking back, Sungmin confirmed, Kyuhyun was sleeping soundly, his big lips a little bit parted letting air in and out of his lunges and his curled hair was falling above his closed eyes. Smiling at the sight, Sungmin turned between Kyuhyun's arms to have a better look.
"Ryeowook did have good taste." Sungmin smiled and slowly unlocked Kyuhyun's arms from his frame and stood up without making any sound and heading to the kitchen to start making their breakfast.
When Sungmin started frying the eggs, Kyuhyun woke up with both the sound and the smell of the food and went to the kitchen finding Sungmin humming a song while looking at the eggs.
"Good morning." Kyuhyun said feeling his eyes a little bit sleepy yet.
"Morning." Sungmin replied looking back and flashing a smile to the other who was walking a little bit dizzy from the sleep and whose hair was a mess. "Had a nice sleep?" he laughed.
"The best considering I had to share the couch with you." Kyuhyun laughed and sat at the table.
"I'm sorry about that." Sungmin said putting fried eggs on a plate. "But I really don't remember when we ended up sleeping."
"What do you remember about yesterday night?" Kyuhyun asked wishing Sungmin could at least help him to know if everything that happened the other night was real or not.
"Hm..." Sungmin started to think and turned to face Kyuhyun, one finger on his chin, and Kyuhyun thought he could look at that sight forever. "The last thing I remember was you mocking me because of the movie and then tickling me, and then... we fell asleep? I really don't remember much."
"Actually..." Kyuhyun started, but then he stopped himself while playing everything that had happened in his mind, all looking just like a dream and a mix of craziness. Sungmin would never believe him that his best friend had come and possessed his body in order to talk with Kyuhyun. "Yeah. We ended up sleeping."
"It's always nice to do something with you." Sungmin smiled, his eyes becoming nothing more than two lines.
"So we should always stick together." Kyuhyun smiled back.
"Sure."
~~
Yesung was sitting with his back facing a door which he had known for so long asking himself why all of those things were happening with him. Since when he couldn't untangle his feelings? And the answer was right on his back, it was all Siwon's fault. But blaming the man wouldn't make any difference at what was still happening and Yesung felt so tired of all this, all he wanted was to go to a heaven that his church always talked about, but for some reason Ryeowook's name crossed his mind and at the same time a door appeared from the snow and Yesung could listen to a soft song being played in the other side of the door.
The rhythm was slow and soft, yet looked so sad, but Yesung felt something warm filling his chest. And Yesung stood up and gave the three steps needed to go from Siwon's door to that other one which Yesung already knew who was kept inside.
Without minding knocking, Yesung opened revealing a large room lightened by the moon's rays coming from the open windows and a lonely figure sitting in front of a big piano and while walking to Ryeowook, Yesung saw that his skin was shining together with the rays. However, Ryeowook's fingers weren't touching the keys, but the song was still playing, each note sadder. Looking closely, Yesung saw that besides Ryeowook's skin shining with that light, some tears running on his cheeks were also shining looking like little pearls wetting Ryeowook's shirt, but its owner didn't mind, his eyes only looking at the piano playing itself.
"I want to go." Ryeowook whispered, so low that Yesung found hard to catch those words. "It's horrible to be kept in this emptiness."
Yesung approached Ryeowook and sat beside him also looking at the piano and listening to whatever Ryeowook had to say.
"This place is just a dream and I know I should wake up." a pause and Ryeowook raised his hand playing a single note between that melody and looked to Yesung, his eyes shining with his tears and his lips red from crying. "But I don't want the fear being the last emotion felt."
"I... I can go with you." Yesung said reaching Ryeowook's hand, close to the keys, with his and squeezed it. "I really want to help you."
"But..." he whispered looking to their tangled hands.
"I'll protect you." Yesung said, his voice showing more strength than he thought he had. "I'll take the fear away from you."
"Why?" Ryeowook asked looking up to Yesung once again and the latter held himself to not kiss those tears right away.
"Because... because I care."
And the piano disappeared in front of them, together with its song, and the walls faded away while the snow was getting around them and, still sitting in the bench and with their hands tangled, they saw themselves looking at Siwon's door once again.
"Ready?" Yesung asked carefully as to what Ryeowook nodded in agreement, squeezed Yesung's hand harder and raised from the bench.
Their steps were slow and while walking and staring at that door, they were still holding hands, feeling each other skin under their fingertips. When they reached the door, Yesung raised his other hand to open it and when he touched the knob he felt Ryeowook squeezing his hand once again.
With the door open, they passed it to find themselves in Siwon's apartment. The only light was coming from the kitchen and it only lightened one side of Siwon, sitting on the couch and staring at something in the floor. Walking closer, and never letting go the other hand, Ryeowook gasped and hugged Yesung when he saw his own body laying on the floor, lifeless, his lips purple and his clothes socked with blood coming from his chest and some cuts on his face. But even hugging Yesung, Ryeowook kept one eye on Siwon who raised from the couch and went to the kitchen coming back some seconds later with a large sack and feeling Yesung's hands passing on his back, Ryeowook saw Siwon putting his lifeless body inside the sack and left the room. Before noticing he was crying, Yesung pushed Ryeowook's face away from his shoulder and whipped his tears away with his small hand.
"How... Could he?" Ryeowook asked between the sobs gazing at Yesung's eyes which were giving him the security Ryeowook had always asked for.
"Don't care for that." the other whispered, his hand wandering in Ryeowook's cheekbones and tangling in his hair. "I just wish to take care of you." and he went forward and softly touched Ryeowook's lips with his own. Ryeowook responded by closing his eyes and losing his weight on Yesung's arm still around his waist. And when they felt each other tongues, Ryeowook's feeling salty from crying, both saw some bright light passing through their eyelids. They kissed until they felt their chest getting warmer by each movement and then they parted, eyes still closed, hands still feeling each other.
"Do you believe we'll see each other again?" Yesung felt those words hitting his ear and tangling in his brain and he never felt more sure.
"Yes." Yesung didn't hesitate and opened his eyes at the same time Ryeowook did it.
They weren't in Siwon's apartment anymore, not even in that big yard. If Yesung had a word for that place he would say they were standing into nothingness. But Ryeowook knew better.
"We go to the space before dying?" Ryeowook laughed a little bit and then Yesung could see some stars shining so far away from them, yet sending brightness on them.
"I always liked stars." Yesung said looking back to Ryeowook and smiling more. "And I also like you."
"So do I." Ryeowook smiled, one last tear dropping from his eye, and he kissed Yesung once again. The last time before he felt his body slowly fading away and not feeling nothing more than that warm touch. And Ryeowook held himself on that touch, but then he felt falling into nothingness. However Ryeowook just accepted it and fell with a smile on his face.
"If by dying I can find someone to love... then it's ok to me." was his last thought before the nothingness swallow his body.
~~
"I don't get why drinking on the beach, on the winter, on your birthday, should be a good idea."
"It's the only time when the beaches aren't filled with noisy people."
"But couldn't you like inviting some people to, at least, eat some cake like I did last month?"
"Nah. It's just perfect like this."
Kyuhyun put a big blanket above the cold sand and they sat side by side, Kyuhyun looking and smiling at Sungmin while this one put the wine and the two glasses he was holding between them.
"Stop creeping on me." Sungmin laughed, but he knew deep inside he didn't mind that look on Kyuhyun's face.
Kyuhyun only laughed and took the bottle on his hands to open it and when he did he poured some wine on both the glasses. Getting his own, Kyuhyun gazed to the sea in front of them. The wind was blowing hard making they feel even colder and burying themselves more in their tick coats. The first sip from the wine went hot inside Kyuhyun's body and he felt a little bit better.
"Sometimes you really are amazing." Sungmin broke Kyuhyun's quietness making the man to look at him. After having Sungmin as a part of his life, Kyuhyun didn't mind Sungmin breaking his moments anymore, actually he started to like to have someone to do it.
"Once in a while you are amazing too." Kyuhyun replied and drank some more while Sungmin looked at him with suspicious eyes.
"I know you love me." Sungmin said and looked to the sea also drinking some of the wine.
But Kyuhyun didn't take his eyes away from Sungmin, those words still echoing on his mind. It had passed months since when Kyuhyun had "talked" with Ryeowook, but he has never brought this subject up and decided to just be with Sungmin through almost all the time. If you looked at them you would think they are really dating, but actually they were nothing more than friends. Not that Kyuhyun liked to be only at that level, but he could never have the courage to talk with Sungmin about that, to talk about his feelings and to let the man know that they could work out together as a couple.
And maybe that was the right time. Gazing at Sungmin who was still looking at the sea, his black hair flying back showing more of his cheeks, his lips a little bit red from the wine. And Kyuhyun got closer, putting his glass aside, his face not that far from Sungmin's cheek, and when Sungmin noticed Kyuhyun was that close, he looked at the man and gave a questioning gaze.
"Can I kiss you?" Kyuhyun asked and he saw Sungmin's cheeks getting pink while he leaned forward finally feeling his lips. Sungmin didn't pull back and Kyuhyun licked his lips making Sungmin to part them to feel Kyuhyun's tongue hot against his and the taste of wine on it. They kissed some more, each touch more passionate than the other, but Sungmin reluctantly put his hand on Kyuhyun's chest and slowly pushed him away, his breathe erratic.
"I can't." Sungmin said looking to the glass still on his hand. "I'm sorry, but I can't. Ryeowook..."
"Sungmin. This can't last forever..."
"He loved you Kyuhyun. I feel like stealing something from him." he still didn't look up, a tear falling and mixing with the wine.
"He also loved you Sungmin. I can't picture Ryeowook wanting you to be sad for the rest of your life." he said reaching for Sungmin's hand, but when he touched it with his fingertips, Sungmin pulled his hand away and gazed the wine from the fallen glass to soak the brown blanket.
"It's not about me being sad. It's just..." but Sungmin couldn't find the words to continue it and he looked up to Kyuhyun. "Every time I look at you I think back about Ryeowook. About how much I miss him and how we couldn't even find the guilty for his death."
"But most of the time you are happy with me, because you know I'm Kyuhyun, not some part of Ryeowook."
"But Kyuhyun...."
"Sungmin. I know this can work out. I want this to work out. Look..." Kyuhyun said passing his hand through his hair. "Some months ago..." Kyuhyun started kneeling in front of Sungmin making the other to look at him. "I kind of talked with Ryeowook."
"Kyuhyun, please don't..."
"Listen." Kyuhyun said not breaking their gaze. "He told me that you should be happy no matter what and..."
"I always hoped you would never do such a thing as bringing death people's name just to..."
"Please Sungmin. I wouldn't play with it. I am serious." Kyuhyun said grabbing Sungmin's coat stopping him from standing up. "It did happen. And even though it didn't, don't you think Ryeowook would want something like this? Sungmin. I want to make you happy. I want to."
"Kyu..." Sungmin's face was completely wet by now.
"Just give me a chance Sungmin. I will never let you down."
Sungmin didn't say anything and didn't make a move either. So Kyuhyun started to get closer to him, his arms slowly embracing Sungmin and by feeling that warm, Sungmin leaned on Kyuhyun and hugged him back finally letting go of the sobs he was holding.
"I'll make you happy. No matter what."
END
AN: well, sorry if I took like... months and months to finally post it, actually this was ready by the end of july, but before I got time to read it and correct and my fail mistakes school was back and I started studying double the time I did before so I can enter college next year. so really sorry if you were waiting for this part for too long. and well, I don't even know how I got time to finally finish this lmao
but still, I really hope you enjoyed it and sorry if I made any mistakes ^3^