(no subject)

Aug 14, 2005 23:55

My life completely fell apart this summer. It's sad really. Before school got out, I finally confessed all the love that I had forever held in my heart for Aaron, and things were really great while he was home. Knowing he was leaving before graduation, I still made the full commitment to him and told him that he is and always be the only one I love from then on and I told him that I would stick by him for the three years he is in the Army which I don't forget because I could never love anyone like I love him nor could anyone ever love me as much as he loves me. Anyways, graduation comes and the summer begins. My boyfriend is across the country, and I've already lost contact with basically all of my friends. So this whole summer like I said in my last entry, I've worked and chilled either at my house or Aaron's house. There has been times where I went out with some people which I did have fun all those times.....but I dunno. I did't expect my summer to end up like it did. I sit here and think my whole high school experience was a joke just because I lost track of all of my friends. When I cried at night, I cried to a pillow. Why call anyone and interrupt their life with my problems that I was aware of that Ide have to deal with? Oh yeah when I say I miss Aaron, I've had someone say to me well you knew what was gonna happen. LIKE I HAVE TO BE STRONG 24-7 and not cry. OK. That's like me not listening to music. I have to. Its just what I do. And all my relationships that I had throughout school were like another joke. Ha I sit back and laugh at first, then I get pissed cause I should have never have pursued half of them. There are only three great men that have impacted my life tremendously - only two of them are still alive. And only one of them I see pretty much everyday. I'm off to bed......don't feel like doin this nemore
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