X-Files Oneshot: Weighted Goodbye.
Title: Weighted Goodbye.
Word Count: 704
Disclaimer: Don't own X-Files nor the characters.
Author's Note: I wanted to write a oneshot so I asked my Tumblr friends for a prompt and got a response for "Scully’s thoughts after leaving the real Mulder in Dreamland II. After she tells him there is nothing she can do for him." So, this, my friends, is the oneshot. Enjoy.
The sunflower seeds held weight in her palm. She stared down at them and skimmed her thumb over the slightly salted shells. The realization hit her hard, a sudden wave crashing over her with the dread that these seeds were the last thing she would ever receive from Mulder.
The Mulder she knew no longer existed. There was the new Mulder she despised and the old one... the one that consisted of truth, trust, sunflower seeds, and hope... that Mulder was left in the dust the moment Fletcher sped away.
Their relationship was over. His parting gift was the sunflower seeds, and hers? A touch, a tight grasp on his arm, feeling for his hand, unfamiliar within her own. As much as that man was Mulder, he was also not. She couldn’t see her partner in him even though she knew he was there.
It didn’t seem real. It was a nightmare she was sure had to come to an end. But it wouldn’t, she knew deep down, and that scared her more than anything. Because how could she move on without Mulder? Sure, she was dismissed from the FBI and with Mulder gone, it didn’t matter so much, but to not have Mulder in her life, the Mulder she knew, how was she supposed to go on?
Every day she would think of him in a life that was not his own, a life sentence he never signed up for. He wasn’t a husband, a father, and certainly wasn’t a liar. She could adjust to finding a new job, but how was he supposed to adjust to a new life he didn’t want?
Did he know he could come to her if he needed? Or was that their last goodbye? Getting together would be difficult based on distance and circumstance, but did Mulder know he could still call? That he could still count on her?
She realized she hadn’t made that clear. She felt a panic at the thought that she wouldn’t hear from him again. That Mulder would take the high road and leave her completely because it would be easier on his life and the fact that he wouldn’t have to run into the man in the body he involuntarily left behind.
But that’s not how Scully wanted this to end. She couldn’t let go. Even if she had to see Morris Fletcher, she would rather see that mug than to go on without Mulder in her life.
“Stop the car.”
Fletcher put on the brake, causing her to seat belt to tighten quickly, keeping her from hitting the dashboard. They hadn’t stopped completely and were creeping down the empty highway.
“What?” he asked and she could barely stand to hear the annoyed tone that was rarely directed at her from the Mulder she knew.
“We have to go back,” she told him.
“Why?” Fletcher stopped the car and stared at her. “I’m sure he’s already gone.”
“I need to see him.” Scully tightened her grasp on the sunflower seeds. “I didn’t get to tell him...”
She trailed off, overwhelmed. She was stuck in a car with a Mulder she hated, a man that would screw up the life Mulder had created for himself. It was not a life for this asshole to take over and ruin, destroying all principles Mulder ever believed in.
“I’m sure he knows whatever it is,” Fletcher replied.
He hit the gas, without a second thought to turning around. Scully looked out the window, deciding that Mulder probably had already left. Maybe she would try to contact him in a few days, once everything settled down.
But she was worried.
She was worried that he wouldn’t take her calls, that he would think he had to do this alone, that he would want to do this alone. This was worse than death. Someone took his life, he was living in a Hell, and she would know he was out there and alive, but not the same person she knew.
Scully looked down at the seeds in her hand again. He had given her all he could in that moment. A reminder of what was... while she was returning to a life with the Mulder who wasn’t.
Word Count: 704
Disclaimer: Don't own X-Files nor the characters.
Author's Note: I wanted to write a oneshot so I asked my Tumblr friends for a prompt and got a response for "Scully’s thoughts after leaving the real Mulder in Dreamland II. After she tells him there is nothing she can do for him." So, this, my friends, is the oneshot. Enjoy.
The sunflower seeds held weight in her palm. She stared down at them and skimmed her thumb over the slightly salted shells. The realization hit her hard, a sudden wave crashing over her with the dread that these seeds were the last thing she would ever receive from Mulder.
The Mulder she knew no longer existed. There was the new Mulder she despised and the old one... the one that consisted of truth, trust, sunflower seeds, and hope... that Mulder was left in the dust the moment Fletcher sped away.
Their relationship was over. His parting gift was the sunflower seeds, and hers? A touch, a tight grasp on his arm, feeling for his hand, unfamiliar within her own. As much as that man was Mulder, he was also not. She couldn’t see her partner in him even though she knew he was there.
It didn’t seem real. It was a nightmare she was sure had to come to an end. But it wouldn’t, she knew deep down, and that scared her more than anything. Because how could she move on without Mulder? Sure, she was dismissed from the FBI and with Mulder gone, it didn’t matter so much, but to not have Mulder in her life, the Mulder she knew, how was she supposed to go on?
Every day she would think of him in a life that was not his own, a life sentence he never signed up for. He wasn’t a husband, a father, and certainly wasn’t a liar. She could adjust to finding a new job, but how was he supposed to adjust to a new life he didn’t want?
Did he know he could come to her if he needed? Or was that their last goodbye? Getting together would be difficult based on distance and circumstance, but did Mulder know he could still call? That he could still count on her?
She realized she hadn’t made that clear. She felt a panic at the thought that she wouldn’t hear from him again. That Mulder would take the high road and leave her completely because it would be easier on his life and the fact that he wouldn’t have to run into the man in the body he involuntarily left behind.
But that’s not how Scully wanted this to end. She couldn’t let go. Even if she had to see Morris Fletcher, she would rather see that mug than to go on without Mulder in her life.
“Stop the car.”
Fletcher put on the brake, causing her to seat belt to tighten quickly, keeping her from hitting the dashboard. They hadn’t stopped completely and were creeping down the empty highway.
“What?” he asked and she could barely stand to hear the annoyed tone that was rarely directed at her from the Mulder she knew.
“We have to go back,” she told him.
“Why?” Fletcher stopped the car and stared at her. “I’m sure he’s already gone.”
“I need to see him.” Scully tightened her grasp on the sunflower seeds. “I didn’t get to tell him...”
She trailed off, overwhelmed. She was stuck in a car with a Mulder she hated, a man that would screw up the life Mulder had created for himself. It was not a life for this asshole to take over and ruin, destroying all principles Mulder ever believed in.
“I’m sure he knows whatever it is,” Fletcher replied.
He hit the gas, without a second thought to turning around. Scully looked out the window, deciding that Mulder probably had already left. Maybe she would try to contact him in a few days, once everything settled down.
But she was worried.
She was worried that he wouldn’t take her calls, that he would think he had to do this alone, that he would want to do this alone. This was worse than death. Someone took his life, he was living in a Hell, and she would know he was out there and alive, but not the same person she knew.
Scully looked down at the seeds in her hand again. He had given her all he could in that moment. A reminder of what was... while she was returning to a life with the Mulder who wasn’t.